Lazy day

[Rubyladyemerald]

I get upset so very easily. So much bothers me. I use to fight my husband word for word. But there were things said over the years about the people who pretend to be sick for attention.and I joined the bully and the words stuck. I was lucky to go a long time and do have to go to the hospital. Just the clinic visits. Now all the works the bully used to say about the fake sick people have made me feel guilty because I can't do much. You can't see what's wrong with me and it always look like I do it for attention. So now to spite my husband's love I cry and feel guilty. So today I cried and listen to music to give myself a better cry and I still feel like crying even more. But I don't hurt too much today. I didn't get my pain meds yesterday so tore soreness has made it to it's limit of please take something. But I can say it was a good or bad day. It was just a day.

[CDreamer]

Be kind to yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Forgive yourself. Give yourself a treat, you deserve it.

Learn to love yourself.

You can't change the past but you do have a choice as to how to live your future.

Your pain is mental as much as it is physical.

I hope you are reading these replies to your posts?

If so please do answer in this thread - just yes or no will do.

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to CDreamer]

I read all my replies. It just takes time for me to reply.. I use to write in a journal but lately I needed to go public because I need more support. And this group has been the best support I have found.

[pottypete1]

CDreamer has expressed my feelings on this subject to a word.

If you get comfort from this forum then you must begin to take some of the advice that has been offered.

Pete

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to pottypete1]

Oh I am being kind to myself. I do my quilting or cross stitch. I watch my favorite TV shows or movies. Chocolate is my favorite feel good candies too. My husband can toss his fits because that's his release. It's not nice but none the less we will get through it. My mind is what's really messed up. When I feel good you get replies like this. If my mind is off you get sad depressing and pitiful replies or posts. Watch you will tell.

[icklebud99]

Rubyladyemerald you sound depressed and I think your feelings could be helped with a visit to your GP and perhaps some medication. I cried for years over everything until depression was diagnosed. Don't let yourself get any further into this dark time, you can feel better.

[jeanjeannie50]

You know sometimes in life we get into habits, be it arguing with our partner in life, worrying over things that really have no importance to our quality of life, etc. This was really brought home to me when someone I knew came back from a spell of duty in Afghanistan many years ago. Life had been tough out there and their living conditions really poor, every day they went out and wondered what dangers they were going to come across and saw friends killed and maimed.

When they came home it was really hard to adapt to normal life, so hard that some gave up and left home to sleep rough. Imagine a man coming home after experiencing that awful existence to a wife making a big deal out of petty things, like we need to change the carpets, the next door neighbour keeps parking outside our house, the lawn needs mowing etc.

At times we need to take stock of our lives and then be content with the path we choose and my goodness there are so many paths in life! We all need to concentrate on what is really important to us and what is trivial. I know I can sometimes get caught up in triviality, in fact I'd go as far to say we ladies are more guilty of this than men. What a confession!

Rubyladyemerald, now listen closely - you are still recovering from your procedure! You are going to feel poorly for a while. You cannot do all that you want to right now and you mustn't push yourself to do anything you don't feel up to. While you are recovering think how your life is going right now and how you would like it to be, get excited about what your future could be. Sometimes just thinking about what you could do is enough and you never have to change anything. We are all individually free to do whatever we want in this life and we sometimes forget that (we have to be well of course, so you are on that path right now but there are more ahead).

It doesn't sound like your husband has ever been ill and its often the case that if you have never experienced certain things in life then you have no understanding of what it's like to have them. So it's not his fault really that he doesn't completely realise how awful your situation is right now.

Take care my friend and know that we are all here to try and help.

Big healing hug (are they working).

Jean x

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to jeanjeannie50]

I know I'm depressed. I will get over it. I did it before. It will take me a bit of time but it will pass. Last time I didn't have anyone that was here when I needed to cry or listen to. Now I have someone who just just as frustrated and it will take me so time for both of us to heal.