AF Association

think i need a shrink ?

think im falling out my tree . following my last post about queer ectopics . i made a few phone calls . and just started to blabber on about my condition to anyone that would listen. i tried to talk to my gf yesterday .but she just cut me off mid sentence . think she sick of hearing about it . and i dont really blame her .its a very long road . as this has been going on for a number of years . ive had two ablations .and im still unwell what i really want to know is how to stay positive ?

16 Replies

Hi,I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad and frustrated.I know that feeling only to well.

I realize now that to most professionals this condition mystifies them even though they may have been a General Practitioner for a very long time.The reason maybe you were cut off mid sentence was she just didn't know how to offer reassurance and felt embarrassed about this some people find it difficult to communicate verbally and with AF you have to have it to know how it feels.

I felt pretty much the same about my GP at one stage until it dawned on me that I had an unrealistic expectations of him and naively assumed he knew everything about everything I voiced this observation to him during one appointment he commented that I was doing a pretty good job finding out about AF myself and now since that day we proactively work together and I no longer get that blank stare (that used to be so b----y frustrating) when I come up with yet another difficult question.Which is not nearly as often now as more often than not this forum provides the support and reassurance that I seek at the time.

From what I have learned from here is that sometimes two or three ablations are required please be strong you have got this far,far further than myself who cant even pluck up the courage to go the next step and agree to the first Ablation.

Just cast your mind back on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel compared with prior to the Ablation.I would be very interested to know.Take care.Carol.


hi carol .thanks for reply. the ablation was easy really . its just the recovery period thats frustrating .the scars have to form .and sometimes it takes 3 months or more . ive had 2 . and i would have 2 more if need be.

1 like

Scars? Where? 2-3 months? Are you able to work?


scars around ventricles . i think ? and no havent worked in over a year


Hi Moggdog,

This rogue condition gets us all down from time to time. I am currently (well this past weekend in particular) feeling much the same as you. I am having cognitive behavioral therapy starting next week in order to try and get my mind in a better and safer place. I will let you know how is goes.

My GP is brilliant but freely admits that the many nuances of AF is not well understand by her. However she does show great sympathy. It is her idea that I try CBT and made the referral for me.

Most people I come across with AF say how it takes a very big emotional toll on them and it does appear to mess with our psyche which I have been told is all part and parcel of the condition.

Hope you feel better soon. Keep strong we are all with you.




thanks dee. i tried cbt and it didnt really work for me .but dont let me put you off . . i think what really peed me off .was getting the sack from work .due to illness . so im sat on my ass and im bored most of the time . .... anyway good luck with cbt.and hope ur well soon


Hi Moggdog, you certainly find out who your true friends are, in the last few months before I was diagnosed and feeling very ill, someone who is no longer my friend, her choice not mind, pretended to listen when I was so angry at the world and little things got blown out of all proportion, so instead of offering reassurance I got an awful email telling me in no uncertain terms not to ever contact her again and at the end she said my mother must wish I had never been born. Fortunately I have true friends who have been very supportive. She obviously has a very short memory when I was there for her during her abusive marriage and divorce and various illnesses. So if you fall out of your tree I will probably be at the bottom of it so you will have a soft landing. Chin up.


thanks ms .


Hi Moggdog - I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now. I've had two ablations the same as you and am also still suffering with AF so you're not alone in how you're feeling. My pulse has been around 120 now for over three weeks and I have yet another cardioversion booked for two weeks time. This condition is so tiring and I sometimes wonder, when my heart is bouncing around in my chest, if I'll still be around next morning. I'm sometimes quite envious of people who have stents put into their heart as it appears to be a quick fix and they feel so much better. I want that and I guess you do too. Well we can sit and mope about it or get on with life as best we can. l do a bit of both but try to be positive as much as I can. I know what you mean about people not wanting to be around you now that AF is such a big part of your life. How can we help but talk about it!!! I have made a really lovely friend through this site and we both enjoy ringing each other for a chat as and when we need some support. It's always so nice to know that someone else understands how you are feeling.

I do hope that you will soon feel a little brighter and feel listened to, you certainly are with the people on this forum.

Wishing you well.


thanks for the kind words jean


Hi Moggdog, you have all my sympathy, I can still remember my (previous) GP looking earnestly into my eyes (I think it was after I told him I got breathless going DOWN the stairs, never mind up) and asking if I had any personal problems. As I have paroxysmal AF he only had my word for it that my heart was not working properly, so I had to give up and wait for an emergency situation, which was when I got the appropriate tests. I think GPs like to 'fix' people and when they can't they get frustrated too. As previously mentioned I think they are not described as 'General' for nothing!

I hope you get help to feel better soon.


Hi Moggdog

It is really terrible when you get like this, been there, got the medal, hope you can pull out of it soon. One thing with arrhythmia I find is that it goes on and on, and as someone else has just said on another thread, everything takes so long to get anything done.

Just an idea, are you on any drugs? I'm normally fairly bouyant, but a couple of months ago I was put on something new and I got severely depressed. Came off them quickly and back to normal straight away.

Hope you feel better soon.

Kind regards



hi koll . only on warfarin and bisoprolol .1.25mil . but thanks mate


Hi Mogdog - so sorry you are so down, which I can understand if you have little else to focus on and who wouldn't be when you lost your job - bit of anger might not go amiss!

(Anger is high energy and depression is low energy).

I find other people's reactions very interesting, I have several 'friends' I thought would be supportive which they were, to begin with. It seemed their expectation was the I would be 'better' after the ablation and when I wasn't I felt I had somehow failed their expectations???!!! It's not just GPs who like to 'fix'.

Loss creates feelings of insecurity. Loss of health, fitness and work takes some adjusting to, dare I say that it may help to talk to someone else? Counselling is NOT CBT. CBT focusses on outcomes and looks at 'worry' thoughts as the cause of emotions. Whilst this helps many people, it doesn't help everyone. Counselling focusses on process. Mindfulness, meditation etc helps many, yoga, gentle exercise etc.

Distraction may help, taking up anything new you may be drawn to? Hobbies, charity work, crafts? But give yourself time and be gentle with yourself - ask yourself if it were your best friend this was happening to what might you offer them - then offer that to yourself.

Sewing & card making are my latest mind distractions.


Hi Mogdog, your message from two days ago struck a real cord with me. I have struggled and felt challenged following my diagnosis. I tried to find out more about my condition, although my AF seems atypical as I have ventricular bradycardia, and understanding what is relevant to me in the papers I accessed has been difficult to identify.

For about five months after being given my diagnosis I felt as though all I thought about for 24/7 was my heart problem and I thought I wAs going crazy. I couldn't run on overdrive forever and gradually I have managed to let things settle in my mind. I know I have some way to go and to achieve some degree of acceptance and move on I need some answers. I have sent my consultant a list of questions I would like to discuss and at last have managed to get an appointment with a counsellor -hope to identify some additional coping strategies!. I have also felt some people didn't like my talking about my problem, even though they asked, however I think I possibly went into too much detail!

I am finding the way to answer people when they ask how I am. at the moment I say I continue to have good and bad days, seems to work okay without going into more detail and I am not pretending everything is okay when it's not.

It still feels as though I am on a bit of a roller coaster with the emotional side of coping with heart problems. I do use a rather black sense of humour to help me through, but at the moment this seems to work for me and hope doesn't offend anyone! I imagine we all try and find ways and means to help achieve a better quality of life while living with AF. I really do wish you well and hope you find things feel more positive for you very soon.


thank you bryonny . i think i need cbt again . i did start it before my last op . but then gave up .because i thought i would be better after op . but that dont seem to have worked out . funny eh ? i woke up after my op .and thought right thats it im cured . anyway i wish you the best and hope your well soon .......moggy


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