We didn't have any options left. Started clinical trial RO7656594 May 14. Scans were done June 27. Showed progression in bones and liver. We knew it wasn't working around the time the scans were done. Pain was increasing. Difficulty eating. Mobility issues starting July 3. Confusion also starting. Talked to his clinical doctor and ended the trial. Hospice was called in July 5. Unable to walk or communicate at that time. A terrible last couple of days. He passed July 10.
Saying goodbye to this man was truly the hardest thing I've ever done. Telling him it was okay to leave me and that we would all be fine felt like a lie. The progression to terrible happened so fast. In a week's time he went from difficulty to inability to move, drink water, and constant increase of pain meds. His clinical doctor said he had not heard of these side effects with this drug. He felt that this was progression of the disease. That may be true. It will matter to new recruits to this trial if it's not true. This was a phase one trial and we were aware of the risks of it not working. I was not prepared for the speed of how quickly he deteriorated.
I have been here on healthunlocked for 5 years. I am grateful to you all for the help and hope and friendship. It has been so valuable to us through this journey. Thank you all.
I'm still hopeful these new treatments show positive results. Hoping that each of you find treatments that provide positive results for you. I will be checking this site often to check on you all. I have become quite fond of each and every one of you. God bless you all.
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So hard for you to post and so hard to read. Thank you for thinking about us in your grief . May your husband rest in peace. Pease take care of yourself .
My families condolences to yours. I can't imagine the pain throughout your journeys and the loss of your hubby. I hope you manage to find joy in your life going forward. I also appreciate the devotion required to go though this ordeal with someone you love. So sorry.
Deeply sorry for your loss. He was fortunate to have you walk this journey with him and to spend his days knowing he wasn’t alone. May his memory be a blessing to you and all who knew and loved him♥️
I'm so sorry to hear of his loss and his terrible time of it at the end. I know you tried everything, and it sounds like you made his passing as psychologically comforting as possible. He was lucky to have you there. I hope your final promise to him will be true, but for now, you are diminished by his loss.
Thank you TA. And thank you for being here and always so quick to respond to my posts. You have helped guide all of us through this journey. I felt better equipped with every doctor visit after your replies. I am grateful for you.
Thank you my friend. This is beautiful. Yes...please if you would add his name to the memorial. I would appreciate that so much. Thank you for your friendship here. I have enjoyed your QOL posts through these years. You are such a bright light. Love, Marie
You're welcome and my pleasure Marie. Please PM me His name and I'll add it to the Memorial. My Heartfelt condolences to you and your family on His passing. If you're ever out in CA, or maybe going to Ventura to see the Memorial, let me know and I'll gladly meet you for a meal on the Pier My Treat 😁. You may even paint a stone for Him to place there💙Me ke Aloha Pumehana (with Warm Love) Sista Marie
Thank you Randy. And thank you for the message from K-xo. Please give her a hug from me. I would love to visit the memorial and will absolutely contact you ahead of time to make sure we can meet. I will have a stone to place there. Whenever we hiked we would hunt for a heart shaped rock. Painting and placing one of those would be such an honor for me. Thank you my wonderful friend.
Oh, you're so Welcome my Sis, K-xo and I msg occasionally and she may be heading to LA and I'll give her a hug if we meet up. Here's another article about the Memorial: venturabreeze.com/2022/05/1...
I am so sorry for your loss. You have written so beautifully and thoughtfully. I really hope that you can remember the good times and laughter. It is humbling the love and care that you showed for your partner. Tc.Graham
From one spouse to another, I grieve with you. I'm sorry you had to part, and I'm sorry the parting was difficult. You were there, you loved him and he knew it. There is nothing better than to be loved. May you find peace and healing in his memories.
Thank you zeitgeistxx. There is nothing better than to be loved. I knew it too. Hoping for successful treatments for your husband. I feel that there are so many on the horizon.
my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your sweetheart, I know it’s so very traumatic. A big warm ehug out for you, I hope you can move forward, thru your grief , as quickly as possible. Like brother Dockam , it makes me tear up as well.
I am really sorry to hear this. You may recall that we have chatted in the comments of a few posts over the last several months - because we shared a major problem, liver metastasis, and my diagnosis was also upgraded in January/February this year just like your husbands. I was really pulling for you guys and hoping you could find a way forward - since that would also provide some hope for me.
I hope you quickly find peace and live your best life going forward. Your husband will always be in your heart and in your thoughts. When you think of him remember the good times and how much you loved each other - plan on smiling and laughing at least as much as you tear up and cry.
Thank you skiingfiend. And thank you for the kind words. I do recall the chats we had. I really believe this clinical trial just accelerated everything. I'm hoping you find a successful treatment. I will continue to check on you. Please keep us posted.
I was considering a clinical trial but I bailed on it. From what I could tell and the advice I got - it wasn't going to do anything for me in any meaningful way. Furthermore, I'm in Canada and the trial is in the US, so I would have to pay the full cost of the trial out of pocket, $100,000+ USD. So it just didn't make any sense to spend that kind of money for no benefit.
I may still look for a clinical trial going forward but I will be very careful and highly selective. Honestly, I am not interested in Trials at all - I am interested in proven treatments that show some benefit and identify the biomarkers that are indicative of a strong response. As you know, there are not any proven treatment options after chemo for liver metastasis.
I'm hoping you find some treatment available to you. We felt at the time we were out of options. It's a hard place to be. I'll be following you and keep you in my prayers for hope and time.
so sorry for your loss. PC is a horrible disease and the last days are brutal.
I keep saying to all the boys, live large while you can, make up a bucket list and keep chipped mg away at it.
I think it also very important to realize the sad ending and if possible me to go out in your own terms!
after battling for 26 years, I will not let myself go into palliative care but will end my life while killing the beast that is taking mine! They die it so hard to die like this but at least one can say he killed the beast! - and go out a winner!
I recently lost my love as well. There are no words. I was grateful that his final demise was quick rather than lingering. I still turn to talk to him. I rather hope that stays, even though it reminds me that I’m lonely. I wish you peace and fond memories.
Sincere condolences. The end of suffering, yet the beginning of grief. Let those last few horrible days simply be the period on the last page at the end of his (and your) life story together.
But remember all the chapters, the rest of the stories and memories written together over decades, and all the joys they brought at the time! That wonderful book, I am sure, is way more than just the last sentence.
Hopefully you can find comfort in those chapters, and peace moving forward as you write/live the Epilogue.
I'm so, so sorry. We wives and partners know we will be there someday. Wishing that you find comfort. I'm glad your husband had you by his side on this journey. --Susan
My heart breaks for you. Let your family and friends help you now during this very difficult time. Sending you love and ((HUGS)) and my deepest condolences.
Our sympathies to you and your family. It’s such a sad time, and we all feel the loss. You tried everything and stood together throughout the entire time. Blessings of comfort and peace to you.
Very saddened to hear of your loss. Just read your bio. Quite a smorgasbord of treatments over the years. Hubby fought the good fight, may he rest in peace and may there be something of value to future patients because of his bravery to participate in a new trial. God Bless.🙏
So so sorry to hear this. My husband passed April 9 after he was on a clinical trial, not the same one. The cancer in 4 months was so rapid, went from being ok to not eating or drinking, lost 35 pounds, difficulty breathing Finally we called hospice only lasted 4 days. His cancer spread to pancreas. Prostate cancer is so horrible May you find peace, take care of yourself
hard not to cry a little bit when I read this. So sorry about how things went. Just absolutely brutal. Praying that you and your family will find peace.
Thank you for sharing. This has been a difficult journey for you also. In many respects this life is an illusion and can be a cruel one at that. 80+ years can go by in a blink of an eye and our grasp on material things just disappears, our loved ones are gone when we turn around one day.
But rest assured there is a life after death for God isn’t callous for he is a loving God and eternity awaits for those who have suffered death. Our loved ones are in heavenly peace no more pain and no more suffering. Rest assured we all pass and this illusion we won’t even remember, for in time we all will have eternal life.
The only thing, I mean the ONLY thing worse than dying from this disease is watching someone you love dye from it. Prayers that God will ease the pain you are suffering right now. God bless.
I’m so sorry to read that your husband has passed. I pray for you and your family that you might be comforted in this season of grief. Just looking at the post with the picture of the two of you tells me that you all had a beautiful love story that your memories will read for years to come. May your husband rest in peace.
The passing of your dear Husband at the young age of 63 is heartbreaking not only to you but to all of us suffering from this terrible disease. May all of the memories you shared with him be with you forever. God bless you and keep you well.
Ma’am, I tear for you in your husbands loss. May God bless you and help you through this time of suffering. My own fight is two months shy of two years. In a letter sent to my friends asking for prayers for my wife who herself may be soon have a bad diagnosis, I told them how my wife had told my oncologist at our first meeting that she wanted me to be around for our 50th anniversary, that was at that time 5 years away. Life is so fragile and even more so with this cancer where you live day to day hoping an infection or a drug interaction doesn’t kill you. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have been sick or hospitalized and fought back with anything I could throw at it. Your husbands death is tragic, he fought as hard as he could against this scourge with indomitable courage, he in his zeal for life and family, taking the risk in this clinical trial. It is unthinkable that he would go so quickly and unexpected. In a perverse way your husbands death may help others to live amid future drug precautions and I am so sorry to hear of it. May God give you strength and comfort through this difficult time. Best Tuff Nutt.
may the hand and love that has always guided you be not alone in time that you showed the ultimate gift which is your love for him and the guidance felt above as well as through this community.You are amazing the plight and passion of true dedication to soul mate.May our lord guide through these waves of grief but in the end result we will be humble and grateful and blessed that you shared time with your partner
So sorry, heartfelt sorrow and condolences to you and all the loved ones left behind.
It was mentioned above, we are all family, and I can say this is true in the truest sense... Once we enter this arena, we are all gladiators fighting an insurmountable beast! Together we are stronger, and no different than crusaders standing the line together, on lockstep, shoulder to shoulder, we fight together, and when one falls, the entire line feels it. No time to mourn as our foe still stands before us, but our souls scream out at the loss... Knowing even more so, that another will fill the void, will step up and hold the line with the rest of us. None to be forgotten who stood fast, sharing the pain, knowing what others not standing the line do not. Understanding what cannot be expressed... How we are truly, all brothers, have traveled this path bizarrely, both alone and never alone.
It's hard to let go, but may you know peace and comfort that your loved one most assuredly, was comforted by you and your family being there, and will always be. God Bless!
Thank you Cooolone. This brought me to tears. I have indeed felt a family here. Sharing all the things. You were able to put into words how valuable this site is and how hard it is to see a warrior pass.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt message. It’s evident that your five years as a Malecare's member have been filled with meaningful connections, support, and hope.
Losing your husband at such a comparably young age is a heartache that defies words. It’s like a book with pages ripped out — unfinished stories, and dreams left hanging in the void. But I hope you can find solace in your memories together: the laughter shared, the mutual secrets, and the time spent with each other. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family for your loss. He is free of pain now, and may he rest in peace. For his sake and yours, I am glad you could be with him at the end.
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