Hospice: Tomorrow I am giving a... - Advanced Prostate...

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Hospice

BrentW profile image
26 Replies

Tomorrow I am giving a farewell talk on my research to my ex-students on Trinidad and Tobago (with attendees from the US [Smithsonian Institution] and France). Though the talk is fully prepared, I am losing sleep over it, it being the first such talk I have given in 5 years. Also, it is my farewell talk, so I want it to be memorable. 

Today, though, was my first visit to the local hospice. I had got so little sleep last night that I had to beg to be allowed a bed to nap in. Mind you, I loved it (the hospice as well as the bed).

There are no fees to me.

The staff are all volunteers, many retired nurses, district nurses, hospital chefs, therapists and companion dogs. The volunteer: patient ratio was very comforting (I think it is a social event for them).

At present they are able to open to able people such as me just one day per week, but hope to transition to two days if more funds become available.

They are, however, able to provide free respite care where I would stay for up to four nights per week, giving my other half days off from having to watch and worry over me. I would be pleased and relieved to see her use that if she wished. 

I will keep you informed as more information comes available.

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BrentW profile image
BrentW
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26 Replies
Polytunneller profile image
Polytunneller

I hope that your former students appreciate your efforts tomorrow, Brent.

Sleep well.

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen

Do they have a home-visiting service as well?

What is the subject of your research?

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to Tall_Allen

There was no mention of a home visiting service that I picked up on. I will ask my other half, who was able to pay far more attention. What I know is that it works very closely with the NHS, with my palliative care nurse being available for advice, they having access to my full medical records, and the ability to admit me to hospital if needed. (It would not be my usual hospital, but once again full access to my records would be available.)

We discussed the matter of my forward care plan, which is still to be finalised. I have yet to decide on the matter of a DNR. So far I have recovered from everything to which I have been subjected (wayward tumours, blood clots, cancer fatigue, brain fog) to the point where I can function, albeit slower than before. So, I would not wish to give away any time that I could enjoy with Jacqui; every second is now so precious. But I am told that some people do not and have to spend the remainder of their days on ventilators. That I would not enjoy, and would not wish to be a cross for J to bear. So, we shall have to have that conversation seriously at some time, and probably soon. We shall do so in the company of the palliative care nurse.

On to more pleasurable matters. I don't think it is any secret that I am a professor -- indeed, a double professor, being professor in geology and palaeontology. I know most people lump rocks and fossils together in their heads, but the truth is that they are very different fields, one being more closely related to physics and chemistry, the other to biology and ecology. I used to draw a diagram of Medawar's Hierarchy of Sciences to help my students understand this and I think a few got it. I published so much, even though I started research late (in my mid 40s and following my cancer diagnosis), that I was made a Professor Emeritus by my university -- meaning that I am still on their books as a (volunteer) staff member and am on call to help advise and teach.

For clarity, the University is in the West Indies, and I am now living in the UK.

When the day came that my oncologist here said that nothing more can be done for me other than pain management, I contacted the Head of Programme at the university. The geological community on oil-rich Trinidad being so small, word spread fast. Apparently some tears were shed. The President of the Geological Society of Trinidad and Tobago wrote to ask if I would give one last talk to the Society and the University, using MS Teams. We would treat it as being a last chance for my previous students to interact with me.

I did not want it to be a Brown Bag Lunch with Brent, and so had to come up with a topic. A little something rang a bell at the back of my mind. In 2005, I was asked to look at some sediment samples from the seafloor in Guayaguayare Bay, SE Trinidad, just ~100 km from the main outlet of the Orinoco River. This means, it is in an area that has previously been interpreted as comprising very muddy water (the "Orinoco Plume") that is inimical to many creatures, clogging fishes' gills and clouding out corals. The sediment grains, however, consisted of coral fragments and -- to my delight -- microscopic shelled amoebae that are associated with coral reefs (this is one area in which I am something of an expert).

So, tomorrow I shall be talking about the closest coral reef to the Orinoco Delta, whether it is still functioning (answer: no) and when it was probably last still active (answer: within the last 7,000 years).

It will be a short talk of maybe 30 minutes, with just a few PowerPoint slides, followed by students' memories of their time with "Prof. Brent". If you use FaceBook, a few details are available at facebook.com/groups/3689106...

After that, I shall return to trying to learn how to paint watercolours. My brain is too foggy for me to do any more micropalaeontological research at the level to which I used to work. I miss it dreadfully, but know that I have at least left some mark on the world that says, "I wus ere." Most people have children, but I knew that was never going to be for me. Instead, I left a little body of knowledge, and group of graduate students, and a major reorganisation of how we see the evolution of the SE Caribbean Sea. That, I have tried to tell myself, is enough.

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to BrentW

I just googled this: westindiesstaugustine.acade...

I recall that I was at one time rated by this site as being among the top 3% of academics worldwide. I never did work out why. I am proud of some of my work, however. With a statistician colleague at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC, we worked out a system of quantifying the assemblage turnover of communities of creatures across ecological boundaries. Later, we presented the first statistical definition of generalist versus specialist species in the fossil record (though I have since seen this applied to live organisms too, including fungi, of all things).

academia.edu/4793702/Quanti...

academia.edu/22223486/Disti...

Add to that my study comparing point (i.e., single sample) and pattern (i.e., between sample) diversities among organisms, and I am very proud of my work.

academia.edu/462944/ALPHA_A...

But for now, it is time I shut up and headed bedwards. I have a talk to give tomorrow and need a settled head for the night. Take care, TA. And thanks for asking.

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen in reply to BrentW

Very interesting! When one does science, one never knows how it will become useful in the future. I know that the natural history of coral reefs is of great topical interest just now. I'm sure you have sown the seeds for investigations of upriver impact on our coral reefs.

I delved slightly into both geology and paleontology to write my novel "Thaw's Hammer." I only know enough to know the vast amounts I don't know about the fields. I used geology to discuss the origins of Antarctica, and I used paleontology to discuss animals that evolved and became extinct during the Eocene.

I love your watercolors. While your research only benefitted a small number of fellow researchers in the short term, your art can give immediate pleasure to a much wider audience. I treasure the pottery my mother was still able to make during her final days.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

impressive credentials Brent , and sounds like your “ farewell talk “ will be sooo,th as you have prepared so extensively for it.

Thank you for keeping us in the loop with your hospice experiences. Boy , it seems like hospices can and are quite different location to location. Very helpful and interesting to guys like me that have stood in the hospice doorway once already and expecting to go in pretty soon again. I appreciate it buddy.

❤️❤️❤️

Huzzah1 profile image
Huzzah1

Brent, as unfortunate as your situation is, you are very fortunate at an important level. You do have a legacy that you will leave, your research, lectures and students will all remember you. Your watercolours will live on. Your posts on this forum will inspire and will live forever.

I have the love of life but no children. I could only hope to leave the legacy that you have.

Gods speed.

Mtnhigh profile image
Mtnhigh

Brent, what an amazing career you've had! Thanks for sharing a little bit of it here with us. Good wishes for your farewell talk. Your hospice sounds lovely. I hope they find more funding soon. It seems quite different than the hospice we used for my mom in the US. She had a weekly home visit from a nurse but we were responsible for most of her care. I really like the respite aspect of your hospice. -Deb

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

to Dr. Wilson,

There's a rumor going around that in your retirement you're going to replace the Holder Brothers (Boscoe and Geoffrey) as an artist and as the "7 up Cola guy".

Kidding aside I know you're going to excel in your presentation to your past and loyal students. Hell, you know you're stuff. We all admire you and the current challenge that you are facing, We look forward to your art and I look forward to kid you about it.

We leave you in the care of a wonderful Trinidadian woman "Jacqui" and tell her that it's too bad that all of us never went liming or attended a carnival together.

P.s. Start off your talk/speech by saying "It's wonderful to see all paleontologist er' oops old friends again".

Anyway, as always -

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 11/22/2023 PM EST

dmt1121 profile image
dmt1121

This presentation sounds like the culmination of a long and well-respected career. It is a time for you to take your time in presenting your findings with teh passion that I am sure you have for this work you have been doing.

They wouldn't be there if they didn't think what you have to say is important. You know it's important too and you should give that the time and respect it deserves, without a thought for how it goes because when you are calm and centered, you will only be able to give the best presentation possible.

The farewell comes at the end when you can explain your situation and maybe convince soem of teh men in that audience to get there PSA and digital exams or partners to convince them of what's at stake. I did this with friends and colleagues before I stopped working and one actually had prostate cancer and was cured. Don't just present the work but present your self and who you are at this point in your life....and maybe save a life too.

Break a leg! (You know that's just an expression, right?) Lol. 🙂

Stoneartist profile image
Stoneartist

Go for it Brent. I am a fellow geologist and understand your passion. Its great that we get some opportunities to open the eyes of students to this passion and love for understanding of our mother earth

GreenStreet profile image
GreenStreet

Respect Brent. You are clearly a top guy and very talented. I love your water colours too. I am sure your former students and your colleagues will find you inspirational.👏👏👏👍

Drandma profile image
Drandma

Praying for you to be able to say everything you want to say in your farewell speech!

Yank66 profile image
Yank66

Quite a tribute to an educator! Enjoy it, knowing the difference you have made in your students’ lives. You fulfilled your higher purpose. Our best wishes to you for a pain free, peaceful hospice experience.

Jp2sea profile image
Jp2sea

I am also a Professor, and more specifically, I'm coastal/ marine geologist and oceanographer. I'm not a paleontologist, but I've collaborated with some. I also study marine sedimentary processes and have worked around the globe. Your work near the Orinocco sounds fascinating. I'm certain all very much appreciated your presentation; I know I would have enjoyed hearing it. Giving the farewell talk of one's career sounds honorific and enjoyable but also difficult. Thanks for sharing. I also like to watercolor... paint something fun today, maybe the ancient reef system. Best, J.P.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Jp2sea

to Jp2sea,

I am not a professor, I'm not a coastal/marine geologist and oceanographer.....but just an old horny guy who goes to the beach as much as I can, to see those beautiful fish on the beach in their bikinis and if lucky, sometimes without them..... C'EST LA VIE...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 11/23/2023 12:56 PM EST

Lightjunkie profile image
Lightjunkie

Brent, Sending love and appreciation for your sharing with us your multi-faceted life. Your rich passion clearly comes through! All the best for the talk.

Mgtd profile image
Mgtd

What an honor for those friends and students to hear you speak and your legacy will live on in their hearts and minds. You have been an inspiration to them and to all of us. God bless.

BB_1 profile image
BB_1

Brent,Your talk will be great! Life is a journey although geologically speaking we are only here for a small amount of time. Wish you the best care...stay the course. God bless.

Brent ( earth science education)

London441 profile image
London441

This is fascinating stuff, inspiring. Such rich history and your interpretation of it should make for a great presentation.

Of course, it's slightly sad that perhaps a bit more keen attention may be paid since it's their last opportunity to glean from your wisdom, but ah that's life.

Your attitude is a model for all of us. It's one thing to 'go down fighting'. It's quite another to be invested in sharing one's passion in that same space, which you're doing with your artwork as well of course. Very much appreciated all the way around.

Hailwood profile image
Hailwood

Thank you for such a caring, thoughtful post. Good luck on your voyage and thank you for sharing your beautiful paintings.

StillDancing profile image
StillDancing

All our best wishes on your presentation!Thanks for your updates.

Hope you like this underwater abstract interperatation, just finished using an old/xpired credit card, that just "evolved" over several days of playing with paint with nothing else in mind. . .

All good wishes going forward.

Underwater Abstract in Acrylic
Bethpage profile image
Bethpage

You are some special kind of human being. xxx

Tinuriel profile image
Tinuriel

Thank you for your service to the world, and for sharing your presence with us.

Maxone73 profile image
Maxone73

Thank you, for everything.

garyjp9 profile image
garyjp9

Good luck with the talk! We'll look forward to hearing about it.

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