Sunday, June 26th, Jeff continued to rest at home. We were so very grateful that his pain seemed completely managed and we didn’t have to fret about his hurting.
The hospice nurse visited around 10:00 a.m. and considering the circumstances, Jeff was “ok”. His oxygen levels were actually up, his heart rate and pulse checked good, his hands and feet were warm as opposed to being cool or cold, his breathing was normal for the situation, and there was no mottling on his skin.
Although the nurse mentioned that not all patients are there same, she saw no imminent signs of death.
Jeff slept comfortably throughout the day and the hospice CNA made her visit around 3:00 p.m. The CNA assisted in our cleaning Jeff up a bit and changing his shirt. This was uncomfortable for him, however, we were as gentle as we could possibly be and the CNA was efficient. Jeff’s shirt was quickly changed and he was promptly comfortable again.
Prior to her departure, the CNA noted that Jeff sounded as if the onset of terminal respiratory secretions (aka, death rattle) was settling in. At the time, it was so mild that neither Channing or I had heard the noise nor did we notice any change in his breathing.
Terminal respiratory secretions is a sound often produced by someone who is near death when fluids such as saliva and bronchial secretions accumulate in the throat and upper chest.
The CNA reiterated that, if in fact it was the death rattle, it causes no distress to the patient. She went on to say that it can be distressing to loved ones as it can sound terribly dreadful, but the patient is not suffering.
She called in a prescription that would help and we were advised to administer should he progress.
Our day was mostly uneventful.
Around 10:00 p.m. Jeff was due for pain medication. I also noticed that his breathing had slightly changed and he was making more of a gurgling noise. As he could no longer take pills, all of his medications had been switched to liquid and a dissolvable pill. 
When giving Jeff his medications we were always able to rouse him and while he was unable to speak, he would make efforts to make eye contact with us, and he would normally softly grunt or moan acknowledging he understood what we were doing for him.
This time, however, I had great difficulty rousing him and getting an acknowledgement. I worried about his aspirating on the medicine. I also worried about his being in pain if I was unable to administer the medication.
Thankfully, I finally managed, and I ensured he swallowed, however, I remained concerned as he was obviously declining more.
By 12:50, Monday, June 27th, there was a significant change in how Jeff sounded. The aforementioned “gurgling” sounded much more like a rattle. As the administration of his pain medication had been so difficult, I fretted over giving him additional medication.
Overwhelmed with uncertainty, I hovered over him contemplating the next right move. It was then that the secretions he could no longer swallow poured from his right nostril.
I gently wiped Jeff’s sweet face and then woke Channing. Drake and Brittany both work overnight so I called and asked them to come back to Jeff’s.
Channing, Drake, Brittany, and myself were all here surrounding Jeff, holding his hands and soothing him with soft touches. For approximately the next 1.5 hours, we sat telling stories and sharing precious memories. We told him we’d be ok and it was ok that he go. We told him how much we loved him, how brave he had been throughout this journey, what an amazing father he was, how grateful we were for him, and that we would forever carry him in our hearts.
Monday, June 27, 2:32 a.m., our beloved Jeffrey Thomas Gallagher quietly passed taking pieces of our hearts with him and knowing he was so very loved.
We remain grateful for the support, prayers, donations, and love we have received over the past 18 months. We will never be able to adequately say “thank you”, but please know our sincere gratitude runs deep.
Many times people have commented that they don’t know how I make it through writing Jeff’s updates. I could only think of 1 reply … His story matters.
Jeff ❤️ 6/7/67 ~ 6/27/22
~ Stephanie
#teamjeffgallagher

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Pancake_Lefse
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Stephanie thank you for sharing Jeff’s last days with us. Such an intimate and emotional telling of your love and care for Jeff. I send you and your family a huge hug through this forum that you have thoughtfully contributed so much to.
Take time now to grieve in your own way for Jeff and yourself, it will be hard, but I hope in time it will get easier as the memories of the beautiful times you have had together brighten your days.
I am so sorry for the loss of Jeff. My heart truly aches for you and your family. I always cheered for Jeff and was amazed how strong he was. Thank you for sharing his journey.
Sorry for your loss.He is at peace now.Condolences 💔🙏
So sorry to read your beautifully written piece. His story indeed matters and many benefit from understanding journeys even those where the happy ending is just not to be. To leave this world surrounded by those who love us, knowing they know we love them is as much as we could all ask for.
Jeff was clearly much loved and far too young to be taken. With my deepest condolences.
His story matters indeed. And thank you for telling it. RIP Jeff.
So beautifully and eloquently written. He was a very lucky man to have had you by his side while traveling this very difficult journey. You have my deepest sympathy.
Stephanie I'm so sorry. I hope that soon you will be able to remember all the good times and not too many of the bad times. You did your very best for Jeff and his story lives on in us all. Take care of yourself and your family.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm also amazed at so many details of "Jeff's Story". He was able to be home where he wanted to be. You were able to detect the subtle and not so subtle signs that he was ready, enabling him to have you and the kids there to surround him in love. His pain and anxiety was managed well.
All of us here are grieving with you and will forever hold you and Jeff in our hearts. Please take care of yourself. Jeff's Story is a beautiful one. Stephanie's Story is also a beautiful one of love and compassion and being completely present. May God bless you and bring you comfort.
So very sorry to get this update today. My prayers and thoughts go out to you. Ive been following you guys for a while now and had a good cry when I read this.
May our Lord bless you and keep you and your family in this difficult time.
I'm so sorry to hear it. I've followed every post of yours and read every word. Jeff matters, and you matter too, Your chronicles aren't pleasant to read and were even less pleasant to live through, but anyone who has recognizes in them their own struggles. You have touched me by describing part of what it means to be human. I know you now hold Jeff in your heart, and hope that and your beautiful family are some comfort to you.
I am so sorry that Jeff, his children, you and the rest of the family had to endure this. I am comforted by the fact that he wasn't alone and that he most definitely knew that he was loved deeply.
Steph , I want to thank you very much for your generosity in sharing this very personal moment in your life. the benefit to the many ( most ? ) of us other guys here following behind Jeff is ( IMHO ) extremely valuable. It’s not talked about much on this group , but the knowledge is invaluable ( and comforting - reassuring ) to me and I suspect many , even most, others here.
The guys and gals that have posted above me have echoed my thoughts , no need for me to be repetitive in that respect…. But please add me to the chorus of condolences expressed. I hope your grief eases soon …..Jeff was such a lucky guy to have you and his loving family by his side. Jeff was comfortable and bathed in loving care …. I want to be like Jeff when it’s my turn.
Stephanie, I am so sorry to read of Jeff’s passing. My condolences to you and your family. Your love for Jeff has been so evident. Jeff matters. Jeff’s story matters.
Stephanie you matter too. Please take good care of your self now and over the coming weeks and months.
Dear Stephanie, There are no words to tell you how sorry we all feel. Jeff was so young. Although we will probably never meet, I am truly saddened by your loss. He is at peace now. My heartfelt condolences.
So sorry Stephanie and family. Thank you for sharing such a personal hardship with us. His story and yours’ do matter and are very important to this group.RIP Jeff
😭Nobody could have done more than you have Stephanie! You are all his angels . Love is eternal . I am sorry for such a radical disease for Jeff and you all! It really knocks home for the rest of us here ,that life is shortened .. 💔
Stephanie, thank you for letting us be a part of your story. The raw emotions, vulnerability, heartbreak and kindness. It’s all there for all of us to share and learn from. I’m very choked up right now and I guess it’s because I’ve just been there. Thinking of all of you right now, this moment this day. May Jeff’s passing be on angels wings.
May Jeff rest in peace. I'm sending my sincere condolences and prayers to all of you. Your amazing children and the love and support you all gave to Jeff is a true testament to both Jeff and yourself.
I was not prepared to read those words. What a gut punch. It is such a short time since you started posting. Like others I read every one both because of the love that was so clearly expressed and because you are such a good writer. I pray you all find peace, I know Jeff will. My he rest there in the loving arms of those who went before him.
My presence here and, more importantly, my Jeff’s overall journey was far too short.
I was so grateful when this forum was recommended to me.
Jeff and I fondly referred to this group as “the know it all board”.
Our support system started with Facebook groups. These FB groups are filled with compassionate men and women that shared our plight who readily offered shared experiences, thoughts/prayers, and cheers to keep moving forward, but not always a ton of information - not like here.
When ‘we’ joined this group, we often found the responses more “technical”, blunt and straight to the point, but filled with knowledgeable advice and direction. It was sometimes overwhelming to me. I was so incredibly ignorant about prostate cancer that initially I could barely pose a question much less understand the answer.
“The know it alls” proved to be one of our greatest resources and as I continued to post, we felt the compassionate, loving support as well.
We became vested not only in Jeff’s journey, but also so many others here.
I have always felt I’ve taken far more from this group than I was ever able to give. Nonetheless, we were welcomed and felt genuinely cared for as Jeff met one obstacle after the next.
Complete strangers started to feel like lifelong friends. if not family. So many heroes here … the bravest most courageous people who give so much of themselves and help people like me.
In these past five years reading this cite I have not seen a woman like you Stephanie! I felt like he was covered with you and the girls at his side … so sad in departing . But , past this bitter ending for him is the notion of no more suffering . He had to go . We all will ,once the pain is too great . No man had it worse or took it better than he did . My friend” Timmy” told me his faith says that those who handle suffering well are blessed in heaven . I know this of Jeff? He was smiling ! We should all be so lucky Steph to be loved so much …….You all should live triumphant in knowing he wants you to live for him . Through his dna the girls carry him onward . Words can’t cover up the pain you all witnessed .. I am bulldozed down by his youthful departure . It makes me feel like “ wtf” do i have to complain about? You’ve taught us all a lesson on love .❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊✌️ Thank you 😭God bless🙏
Such sad news. I hope you can take some solace in the fact that Jeff knew that you did everything humanly possible to help him - with constant love and compassion. It takes a special person to do that. Please take time to care for yourself.
Thus ends the final days of the Odyssey of brave Jeffs travails, as told by his ever faithful companion Stephanie, a truly remarkable woman who has touched our very souls with this tale of their intertwined lives.
May your sweet Jeff Rest In Peace. I’m so deeply saddened to hear this news. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your sweet Jeff’s journey with us. You were Jeff’s biggest cheerleader and he was so so courageous throughout all of this. May you find some comfort knowing he’s not living to fight each day. Rest easy now Jeff!!! May God speed. Please keep in touch Steph!!! Again I’m so very sorry for you and your family!!!
My thoughts are with you. It was so very sad reading this, it brought back vivid memories of when my own husband passed away from prostate cancer just over two and a half years ago and yes the story needs to be told.
Dear Pancake_Lefse - sorry to hear you very sad news - Jeff was very much loved & will be remembered - his suffering is over now - sincere condolences Darren
I am very sorry to hear this but also glad that Jeff's transition happened at home surrounded by loving family. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. 🙏
I could not stop my tears Stephanie. I cried like Jeff was someone I knew for a long time. I am so sorry for your loss…. May you find comfort in the thought that Jeff is no longer in pain and he will be with his Maker….
Dear Stephanie You made sure that Jeff was loved till the very end. He didn’t get much time at all which breaks my heart but the time he had you made better. I’m sending you love and pray you find strength in the coming days, weeks and months ahead.
He was very blessed to have you there at his passing. I hope you and the children can find peace knowing he is free from his suffering. God bless you all.
Stephanie, You are one amazing lady! Even though you guys were no longer married, your love, commitment, and compassion for Jeff are overwhelming. All of these qualities that you indomitably possess just 'had' to help make Jeff's battle with this nasty disease more tolerable. And your intimate accounts of this journey that you shared with all of us that were following you can't be paralleled.
We know Jeff is no longer in pain and resting up above in peace, and we all are wishing you and your family our best in comfort and healing.
Yes but it’s not just his story it’s all his families story which helps soo many people brother sister son daughter wife et et everyone, I send u my love from England I lost my boo 3 years ago to this horrible disease I miss him everyday and I still come on this site everyday xxxx
We all die someday. But Jeff died differently. The word "beautiful" is not an appropriate adjective for "death" but you made the death beautiful for him . Stephanie, though your Jeff left this planet you never allowed him to die! I feel he still lives in my thoughts and heart because of your expressions of love to him. They were so touching that any man would begin to understand how selfless and dedicated a woman could be when her man is sinking! You are the heroin of one of the most poignant love stories I read in the recent times which is a fact and not fiction. Plese continue to be a light to our HU forum. We love you ❤.RIP brother Jeff 🙏 and my heartfelt condolences to you dear Stephanie and family!
Our condolence to you and your family, I feel like Jeff was a friend that I've lost, you are such a wonderful person to have taken the time to be with him in this horrible time. My he be at peace now where ever he is. Love Kevin&Mladenka
Thanks for your truth...God bless you and keep you all in his peace 💐
I’m so sorry about Jeff’s death. He fought hard and you fought along side him. May his memory be a blessing and may the Lord give you strength to keep going.
So sorry for your loss. The support and love that surrounded him was just wonderful. His doctors support and yours keeping him pain free was amazing. His story matters and thank you for sharing.
Hoping that you will continue to participate on this site as you are an amazing patient advocate and have a wealth of knowledge that will help many of us through our journies.
I’m so sorry. You went through so much in such a short time. Your posts became harder to read but it made me feel as if I were with you both, an incredible gift you gave to all of us. Thank you.
So sorry to hear of Jeff's passing, may he Rest In Peace. Prayers going out for you and your family. May God grant you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
You and Jeff's children have given Jeff a wonderful gift, love.
Take the time now to care for yourself and help the children as they will help you in this time of grief. Family, clergy and friends can be helpful but sometimes being alone is best.
Thank you for sharing Jeff’s journey with us. I have followed along but never posted. Please know that many more, who may not comment, were paying attention and hoping for a different outcome. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
That was beautifully written. While it is a little unsettling to say this, your message gives us a picture of what it may be like for many of us at some point. I think we can all hope that we will be surrounded by such caring loved ones when the time comes.
Steph, I’m late with my condolences, because I’ve been out of the country. I’ve followed Jeff’s story and your posts from when you got here. You are so brave and Jeff was so lucky to have you. Rest with the comfort that the two of you did everything you could. He is at peace now. And you deserve some rest. This disease is cruel, but it has made all us family of sorts. You have been the kind of caregiver that we all long for.
Very sad, but thank you for sharing. I felt like I learned something about things I've tried not to think about. You set a very high standard for someone present at such a sad event.
Thank you for sharing your experience with Jeff in his final hours. I'm sure it will be supportive to others who may face the same on this journey and the knowledge of expectations will be very comforting. My sincere condolences for your loss. Our thoughts are with you.
Well done, loving Stephanie, always know you have made a huge graceful loving impact on your family and the world. Peace to you and your children. Well done.💖💖💖
Our sympathies to you and your family. I love how you called him “my Jeff” and were his best advocate. Lessons for all of us caretakers. Peace to you now as you grieve.
Indeed, his story matters, and your writing gave us all a picture of your Jeff that would have remained hidden if not for you. All of my love and condolences to you and your family.
Oh my Stephanie. The time came and I am glad it seems it was peaceful and without pain and agitation.
I too truly appreciate your presence here. It is/was good for all of us. I wish I would have done something like you did when my mom was passing. I remember an overwhelming feeling that the world had to know about her and what a great person she was. Among the feelings of emptiness you must have I hope that is not one of them.
You can be sure we all know Jeff was a great man. And you a great loving woman with a loving family.
Please take good care of yourself. Time does heal. It’s a new chapter forced on you. Do what is best for you.
So sorry.
I am glad to see so many here have expressed what I feel in words I have difficulty writing.
If ALL the comments,love and remembrance on this post were put together and floated to the heavens arms a rainbow would surely appear as it did last night in NY after the rain. So many times in our lifetime, our daily life we are not recognized for our hard work or courage. To be recognized by so many here in this community is so amazing . Surely our words and prayers will be read and heard by the angels to Jeff as he is kept in my heart for eternity
It's hard to have the right words at a time like this. It was clear from your posts how much Jeff was loved and the great care that you gave him. You are an extraordinary example to all of us.
Another light is slowly extinguished on Earth, and another new star blinks into existence in the evening sky, helping to light the way for the rest of us. May all your transitions be as peaceful and gentle as possible.
Your sharing of Jeff's story with us, his fellow travelers, helped to ensure that he was known to a larger community. As you, Channing, Drake, Brittany, and others mourn, Jeff is being remembered across the world. I hope you all can find some peace and comfort from that knowledge.
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story with us. It brought tears to my eyes. Blessings to Jeff's family. Hold on to those good memories. May he forever rest in the house of the Lord. God Bless You.
Stephanie, what a beautiful story you have shared. Prostate cancer could never overshadow love. Thank you for sharing your journey with Jeff and his courage to live until he died. Praying that you and your family will continue to experience God’s grace, peace and comfort during this time and beyond.
I am sorry for your loss. I , like Bronzee, shed some tears when i heard that Jeff had passed. May Jeff rest in peace, and may you find comfort in your memories of him.
I've been unable to reply until now... My deepest apologies and condolences. Sorry is too light a word to try and describe my feelings. Overwhelmingly so... Peace be with you all and may God bless you as well. Words escape me now, grief is all consuming.
You did all that you could. I am very sorry for the pain that your husband and family had to endure. The final moments are familiar to me from being with my mother as she passed in 2015. The fact that I was able to be there with her, to talk with her, much in the way you described was a gift for both of us. She got to pass in a semi-conscious condition while I comforted her about moving on and moistened her lips as the became dry from breathing.
I thin k it was also a gift for you and your family to be there as he made his transition. It is what we all need. We need the comfort of our loved ones and their permission to go. I know that I have a great sadness for the emotional pain and burden I have placed on my wife, though I know she does not see it that way. Leaving loved ones when they are pleading with you to stay make that transition painful for everyone. It sounds like you were caring and loving throughout Jeff's illness and right up until he passed.
I hope that you and your family will find joy again as the intensity of your grieving lessens. I know that I want my wife and family to go on and live life to its fullest after I am gone. I want only joy for them in whatever for that takes. Jeff is gone and is no longer suffering.
May your journey be full of the memories of a great life together, with all its highs and lows.
Your posts made me feel like I knew you both personally..........you should write novels. I am so sorry for the inevitable ending to this tragedy, but was touched by your thoughtful reporting of events.
From Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: " "Fates, we will know your pleasures. That we shall die, we know. 'Tis but the time, and drawing days out, that men stand upon."
Stephanie, such a young age, 55, is to soon to leave family and friends, I hope you-all will remember all the good times and events that were shared between your whole family.
Thank you for sharing Jeff's story. You were amazing in your support of him. May you and the rest of Jeff's family now have some peace knowing his suffering has ended.
Jeffrey Thomas Gallagher, When we meet you will know me immediately... cause I was the only one to address you as Jeffrey. Jeffrey take care of yourself and enjoy heaven. Your dear wonderful bride Stephanie will keep you in her mind and in her heart forever. Channing, Drake and Brittany will be thinking of you everyday. May God Bless all of the Gallaghers...
Thank you for sharing these chapters with us. Blessings to your family and to Jeff as he transitions. He was so fortunate to have all of you with him in the end.
Stephanie, my admiration for you and your children knows no bounds. Your description transported us to share Jeff's departure from his earthly Paradise with you and your family to his eternal Paradise with his Creator. Your experience is similar to that which I shared with both my mom and my dad in 2014 and which I will share with my husband when the time comes. My dad departed one minute of midnight on Christmas eve 2014. He proposed to my mom on Christmas Day of 1952. Guess where he wanted to be on Christmas Day of 2014? I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be united with Your Jeff when you also approach your eternal Paradise. You've richly earned that reward. Blessings on you and your children.
Thank you for sharing your deeply loving posts and description of Jeff's passing. I feel very honored that you have been so kind and thoughtful in sharing these with us, your world-wide companions and fellow-travelers. Your descriptions also are helpful to those of us who have yet to have the experience that you just have had but who will in the near future. Take care, and relish the love of your family and friends.
Stephanie, we can prepare the best we are able. We can provide the best possible care. Consult with all the doctors. Navigate the maze of health care to take the best path. Take care of the legal and estate issues. Notify and update family and friends. Express the love and say the things that need to be said. But despite all our efforts and attempts to prepare and understand, when than fateful moment comes, we are nevertheless shocked, stunned and paralyzed. Your entries on this site have been incredibly well-written and filled with love, compassion, warmth and care. I’m so sorry. Love to you and the family.
Waited til now because i followed jeffs story from the begging...i was touched then that as his"ex" you became his caregiver...you are in a class above most....and besides not letting jeff gi through this dreaded disease without a close loving hand....you showed your kids and all of us here what unconditional love is....i raise a toast to you steph.....slaentje'....we irish have many sayings about death...i like this.....dont weep for me ...i am but around the corner....bw
Oh how I love this. Thank you for sharing! And my heart is swelling from all the kind things you said about me, but really, I think any of us would do the same for a loved one… I don’t deserve special recognition, like so many before me, I merely walked beside someone I love and respect. 😊❤️
Well said... but some cant get past the anger...would you do this for us on this site steph who have followed and are walking down the same road...whatever kind of memorial your having ...get one rose and put note from his friends at hu apc group...put in vase....i think we all would like that ...kevin
Oh, Stephanie! I am so sorry for you and your family. Jeff was so beloved. I’m so glad that you were able to be with him, as always, until his passing. God bless you. I am sending you prayers for strength. Reach out anytime. Stephanie (Hope59)
Thank You for sharing details of the love and care that Jeff was surrounded by in his departure from earthly life.May you and children have the strength to deal with missing him.
Dear Sweet Stephanie, I have just read your post now at 5pm on Friday., July 1st. I Took some time off HU. Your life must feel in turmoil. Let the relief of Jeff no longer needing to battle, allow you to relax in your time of grief, and know that this battle is officially behind you. My God, you did everything you could. This PCa is relentless. Jeff departed this earth surrounded by Love, and he will have that Love to eternity. Know also that his Spirit will always be with you. You will hear his voice in your mind letting you know he is with you. Maybe a familiar expression, or guidance how he would have done a task, or just his image.
Gosh, so sad, I know. You did everything you could. Feel that. Move forward. You have a beautiful life in front of you. Check off your Bucket List.
Stephanie, I send my deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your Jeff. I have followed Jeff’s journey, and kept you all in my prayers, and will continue to do so. Jeff always showed such remarkable resilience, and your family’s devotion and care for him was exemplary. I’m comforted to know that Jeff passed peacefully. Your description of Jeff’s final days in hospice was such a help to me, as I was sitting vigil for my darling 89-year old Dad, who passed away on Wednesday. May they both Rest In Peace. ❤️
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Losing the love of my life 
Jeff took this after chemo..name:
Getting prepared for my new life
Getting used to my new life
