My 20 years-old daughter got tattooed today. I am not overly crazy about my child putting ink on her skin but she is an adult and can choose what to do with her body.
However when she showed me her tattoo, I just teared up and started to cry for a good 10 minutes . Not just for the memory of her when she was little that this brought back. The message "Your battle is my battle" just reminded that no matter how debilitating our disease may be, we are not alone in this.
So I wanted to share this with you all, my partners in this battle that we share. I wish us all the best as well as all the family members that support us through thick and thin.
Written by
Mascouche
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No problem TA. But it's funny to be reading talk about reticence in telling the family though.
While many of my friends and colleagues have been aware for 2 years that I have stage 4 cancer, my own father who is 81 (and almost fully deaf since his stroke 4 years ago) still doesn't know.
In part because I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him feel worried for the few years he might have left. But also because I just don't picture having to yell at him that I've got cancer until he understands because, as I mentioned, he is deaf.
So I figure it will depend which one of us goes out first.
If I reach my last mile before he does, I will tell him of course.
But if I am lucky and live longer than he does, then I will have spared him from the unnecessary burden of spending his last years with the fear/pain that his son might be gone before him.
I didn't tell anyone but my wife and two female friends I was sick for fear people would pity me. After six months they encouraged me to tell people. I remember after that conversation I immediately told my friend's niece, her response: "Let's kick cancer's ass!! How can I help?" I am continually humbled by my friends love for me
I hope my support group will take up this subject in a future meeting. Being on the receiving end with my parents after they were diagnosed with cancer, I was resentful that they didn't tell me as soon as they knew. I felt excluded from my own family. Parents want to spare their kids from pain. Children want to spare their parents from pain. OTOH, pain, suffering and sadness are as much part of life as joy, health and happiness. And being part of something greater than ourselves, like our families, is a large part of what makes life worth living. Seeing how beautifully your daughter responded, I hope that others will not want to deprive their loved ones of that.
My son felt the same way when his aunt who he was close with didn't tell him she had only about a month left and was already in the hospital. He was hurt and upset that he didn't get to spend more time with her while she was still doing well. She lived in another state but he would have made the effort to see her. Though he understood her reasons, he felt cheated that she tried to spare him from his feelings. He's a grown adult and could handle it. Painful as it may have been, in his eyes it would have been much better to have known.
I told most people close to me but had to do it by text. It took me a few months to be able to say it out load much less talk about it. Luckily that's all behind me, now I think they wish I would shut up about it
My two female friends and one of their daughters all have the cancer ribbon in yellow and blue that say you struggle is my struggle. Bought cried when they showed me, their love for me and concern for my health issues are humbling. They are the reason I get up in the AM, get my shots, take a handful of pills and never miss an appointment. When I feel like shit I blame them
Loving. Caring. Amazing. Those are three words I would pick to describe your daughter. Thank you for posting that story about your daughters' love for you. I really don't have the right words for a story that powerful.
Wow! This made me cry . Lucky you both are . The greatest love of all . Good job PaPa! 👏👏👏😎👍
About telling; only my immediate family knows about my condition. I chose not to tell others simply because over the years I’ve had tumultuous relationships with them. So I chose not to share with Uncles, Aunts, cousins and so on.
I had to retire on medical grounds so my school leaders and my Ministry of Education knew of my condition. Not even my best friend but being my bestie he could tell when I disappeared for chemo infusions and being the chap that he is, he never asked. But he could tell from my moon face, my bloated tummy and lost of eye lashes and mustache and my very slow gait and sleeping all the time. He never asked to burden but is there for me and Family.
ahhhhh nothing like the love from and to a child. What a good looking daughter and you ain't chopped liver yourself. I'm not into Tats either.... but her's is a winner. May you dance with your daughter at her children's weddings...Bless her, squeeze her and kiss her...You made my day, thanks.....
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