I wasn’t able to save Daddy. But I w... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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I wasn’t able to save Daddy. But I will see him again.

savingdaddy profile image
66 Replies

It’s been 1 year and a month since losingDaddy. I just couldn’t post this until now. This is a short version of his last few months of the fight.

After my Dad received a neuphrostomy in 9/2020 and a spinal block for neck pain, he started to deteriorate in October 2020. Duke Oncoligist didn’t decide to do immunotherapy until November 2, 2020 and by then Dad was weak. He went without any treatment the month of October.

My dad received 1 immunology treatment at Duke on 11/2/20. He went downhill after that treatment and into a fetal position and not responding on 11/4/20. Called 911. ER docs thought he may have fallen because they saw blood on brain in CT scan. First time my Dad was ever in an ER for anything his whole life! He was transported directly to Duke to the Head trauma floor where they found that it was not a brain bleed but spinal fluid leak. It turned out not to be a leak but for some reason he started producing an excess of spinal fluid (never found a why) He was in hospital for 19 days, and dozens and dozens of scans, MRI’s, you name it. Only 1 person allowed to visit. I was with him everyday all day until the nurses kicked me out every night. Staying at a hotel across the street from the hospital with my Mom. Very hard times I can’t even begin to explain. As soon as they would drain fluid off my dad’s brain he was his old self, laughing and joking and awesome as usual. Docs ended up inserting 2 permanent shunts in his skull and internal drains. He was discharged for home a few days before Thanksgiving. Dad was no longer able to receive treatments. He was a trooper throughout this horrible disease. We all took care of Dad at home. No hospice. Only home health(Dads and Mom’s wishes) It was a hard 3 weeks but he was home with family and he passed away on 12/15/2020 with all immediate family by his side. All the grands were there too and he was a trooper to the end talking in his right mind and told us to meet him in heaven that we knew how to get there (John 3:16). He saw something amazing as he looked at us all and smiled and drew his last breath. I imagine it was angels, his loved ones gone on before him and that place called heaven he always talked about.

Just wanted to let you all know

I just couldn’t write this until now. Too hard. Too great of a loss and too hard of a fight.

God bless each and every man in this battle as well as their families who are fighting for them. My Dad loved the info from this great group of people at HU. Thank you! May God bless each one of you. Love, Kim

revelsfh.com/obituary/Harol...

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savingdaddy
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66 Replies
Shooter1 profile image
Shooter1

Thankyou for the update.. All to often a member will go silent and we never know what happened. Glad to see you still called him Daddy. I have 3 daughters who all call me Daddy also. Only in close loving families does this seem to be the case... God bless you for your loving care to Daddy and the whole family.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toShooter1

Thank you! You are right about that..very close family❤️

spencoid2 profile image
spencoid2 in reply tosavingdaddy

Daddies and Mommies are so hard to lose. Still have my Daddy, Mommy was real difficult to let go but it was time. I love to see the expression in someone's when they call their parent Daddy or Mommy, there is a special relationship there.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply tospencoid2

Thank you

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen

Kim - Thanks so much for letting us know what happened. The end can be so traumatic for the family! It's not something someone who loves him will easily recover from. I'm glad he had you and the rest of his family there whenever you all could be.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toTall_Allen

❤️ Thank you

Boywonder56 profile image
Boywonder56

So sorry for your loss....

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toBoywonder56

Thank you

Fightinghard profile image
Fightinghard

Thank you Kim. You love for your Dad shines thru your post. Your Dad was right, thru Jesus mercy you will see him again in heaven where he is fully restored and has no illness or pain.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toFightinghard

❤️🙌🏼

JoeBo profile image
JoeBo

I am so very sorry!😢

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toJoeBo

❤️thank you

Lyubov profile image
Lyubov

My heart goes out to you. What a devoted loving daughter you are. Prayers, comfort, peace.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toLyubov

Thank you

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

My sincerest condolences Kim ❤️❤️❤️❤️

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toKaliber

Thank you

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy

Thank you sir! I appreciate everything and so did my Dad❤️

Collarpurple profile image
Collarpurple

How lucky he was , to be loved like this❤️I too Believe he saw something amazing as he took his last breath😇.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toCollarpurple

Thank you! The expression on his face spoke volumes ❤️

Lettuce231 profile image
Lettuce231

You are an amazing daughter 🎖Xx

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toLettuce231

Thank you❤️

Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner

Condolences

spw1 profile image
spw1

Heartfelt condolences to you Kim and your family. It is good that you managed to look after him at home in the end. Sounds like he had his guardian angels with him at the end. 🙏

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply tospw1

Yes indeed:) thank you

Tally111 profile image
Tally111

He was blessed to have such love. May he rest in peace.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toTally111

Thank you❤️

Kim, this is a beautiful tribute to your dad and his strength and faith. May God bless all of you.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply to

Thank you so much ❤️

Metaldraft profile image
Metaldraft

We are so fortunate in our precious moments in life to filter genuinely loving living passionate care you have given us to share in time of delicate sensitive distributions.I know with his whispering soft voice he said:THANK YOU❤️

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toMetaldraft

Thank you

wagscure259 profile image
wagscure259

Thank you so very much for letting us know about your dad’s courageous attitude till the end of his battle with this disease, for your words have inspired me. Please never think for one moment that it was your job or purview to save your daddy. God’s thoughts and ways are higher than ours. I love the verse 1 Thessalonians 4:13 which states “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as indeed the rest of mankind do, who have no hope.”. I pray for you and your loving family God’s peace, which passes all understanding. You may want to take a listen on YouTube to David Phelps singing “Goin’ Home” for that is truly where your dad resides now and where you will see him again- our eternal HOME.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply towagscure259

Thank you so much. Needed that reminder. I will take a listen. Daddy loved that song❤️

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply tosavingdaddy

*** Click on watch youtube to listen to this video ***

youtube.com/watch?v=oC17gMF...

j-o-h-n Monday 01/24/2022 6:35 PM EST

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toj-o-h-n

So beautiful! He is home at last ❤️

Newyork6264 profile image
Newyork6264

So sorry for your loss. Hope you and your mom can find peace.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toNewyork6264

Thank you❤️

Psa73 profile image
Psa73

So sorry to hear of your fathers passing. At least you know you and the family did everything possible for your father. He is now in the peace of our savoir.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toPsa73

Thank you❤️

Realistic profile image
Realistic

My heart breaks for the loss of your dear Daddy l used to call my darling Dad , Pa and although l lost him 9 years ago still and always will miss him.But thankfully l have all my lovely memories.

God bless so sorry for your very sad loss.

Sending hugs SheilaFx

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toRealistic

Thank you

Nous profile image
Nous

so sorry for everything your Dad and you guys had to live ... one day you will be together again ... hugs and best wishes ... Nous :)

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toNous

Thankyou

Nous profile image
Nous in reply tosavingdaddy

you're most welcome ... wish the cicumstances were a lot happier :)

siouxbee19 profile image
siouxbee19

I am truly sorry for your loss, thank you for the update as hard as it was. I'm going to remember this beautiful quote "...told us to meet him in heaven that we knew how to get there (John 3:16)" and pray that gives you and your loved ones peace and comfort.

🦋🕊️🙏❤️🕯️

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply tosiouxbee19

Thank you ❤️

rosatt1 profile image
rosatt1

Thanks for the post and we are sorry for your loss.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply torosatt1

Thank you.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

To Kim (savingdaddy), I just read the obituary of you dear "daddy" Mr. Harold Brewer who passed from this Earth on December 15, 2020. What a nice looking couple (your Mom and your Dad) who appeared in a picture in the obituary. Your Daddy looks like what is called "the salt of the earth" and I can just see that he was one. He fought his battle with Pca like a Hero and a loving Father. To quote you "He saw something amazing as he looked at us all and smiled and drew his last breath." On his deathbed my oldest brother "Steve" who was going in and out of comas said to me "John I was there and it's not so bad". We never discussed where there was, and he died a few hours later from stomach cancer. So your Daddy has joined his loving family with all of his relative angels, where he will be in peace forever. Bless all of the Brewer clan as you all remember Daddy"...

j-o-h-n Monday 01/24/2022 6:58 PM EST

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy

Thank you so much John❤️ He was exactly that, “the salt of the earth.” I miss him so much. So many times I need to talk to him. I try to imagine what advice he might give. It was always right.

caretkr profile image
caretkr

God bless you for being there for him. I believe he is at peace and with his guardian angels. The love in your family is so evident, I wish same for my father who is fighting the same battle with all courage and patience. It is hard but hope you will find courage to move on with all loving memories that you had with him.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply tocaretkr

Thank you.

MMK-XFuture profile image
MMK-XFuture

Thank you for sharing. Take comfort in knowing he is now peacefully resting. Very sorry for your loss.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toMMK-XFuture

Thank you.

Sisira profile image
Sisira

I appreciate your sharing of a very sad experience of having lost your beloved father as it is better late than never. We cherish his memories in our fraternity. Late condolences to your family and deep respect to your father's meaningful life in this world which was stolen by this deadly prostate cancer. R I P !

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toSisira

Thank you❤️

Bunkerboy profile image
Bunkerboy

Really sorry for your loss. My daughter still calls me Daddy and I love it. Bless you and your family🙏🏻

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toBunkerboy

Thank you❤️ #always Daddy’sgirl

MateoBeach profile image
MateoBeach

❤️❤️💕🙏

SuppWife profile image
SuppWife

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad. I lost my dad two years ago on January 21, 2020. I loved him so much and miss him so much. Helping take care of him during his acute illness and sharp decline for the two months before he died was a privilege and as hard as it was I was so grateful to be able to do it. We had always been very close and worked together for years, too. I had some very difficult, but also very special moments with him late at night in the hospital. There's nothing quite as humbling but also strangely empowering as taking care of someone you deeply love when they need you the most. Your love for your dad is beautiful to see in the care you gave and the dedication to him. My deepest sympathies to you and your mom. The obituary is beautiful. He sounds like quite a man.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toSuppWife

Thank you so much. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. So many special things Daddy said to me while in that hospital room. One thing he said that just tore me up was how proud he was of me. All I ever wanted was to make him proud. Thank you for reading his obituary and sharing part of your Dad’s story❤️

binati profile image
binati

It was very good that he could be home and surrounded by all his loved ones.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply tobinati

Thank you

GeorgeGlass profile image
GeorgeGlass

Kim, very sad, but your final experience with your Dad and the Lord, are deeply moving. You will be reunited in Heaven. I had a somewhat similar experience with my Dad in 2018. God Bless you and your family.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy in reply toGeorgeGlass

thank you so much

Kevinski65 profile image
Kevinski65

May he rest in peace.

savingdaddy profile image
savingdaddy

Thank you.

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