Joe Tillotson is in Heaven - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Joe Tillotson is in Heaven

joekaty profile image

My beautiful, kind, sweet husband died on Thursday and our lives will never be the same. He was diagnosed at 49 and died at 53. He truly did about every single treatment you can imagine and was looking for trials until the bitter end. He never gave up. He always had hope. He loved life more than anyone I have ever known. Thank you to this community for all of the support over 3.5 years of fighting this beast.

142 Replies

I cry and pray for you and your family. May God Bless You!!!

Lots of tears here. Not sure they will ever stop and that would be ok too. Our youngest is only 8 and we are beyond devastated- we are broken and lost. Healing will come but I can’t imagine when or how.

WVtwinsmama profile image
WVtwinsmama in reply to joekaty

I’m so sorry Katy, to you and your young family. May God shine on you all and help show you the way. I can’t imagine how you feel, yet I know I’ll likely be in your shoes sooner rather than later. 🙏🏻❤️

kapakahi profile image
kapakahi in reply to joekaty

Those we love from the first

can't be put aside, or forgotten,

after they die, they still must be cried

out of existence, tears must make

their erratic runs down the face,

over the fullnesses, into

the craters, confirming

the absent will not be present

ever again. Then the lost one

can fling itself outward, its million

moments of presence can scatter

through consciousness freely, like snow

collected overnight on a spruce bough

that in mid-morning bursts

into glittering dust in the sunshine.

Galway Kinnell

Memories of My Father

Big hugs!!! I can’t imagine. We were diagnosed in 2017 at 47. May God be your strength ❤️

I'm so sorry. I watched as both of you sought out new avenues of approach. Some day we may have the right tools. Now, sadly, we don't. It's rare that it strikes so young, but sometimes it just tears right through them. I can't imagine your feeling of loss right now. My heart goes out to you.

joekaty profile image
joekaty in reply to Tall_Allen

Thank you so much Allen. I truly believe that we are getting closer all the time and I’m proud of my husband for participating in a trial and being willing until the bitter end to do more. He may have done them for himself but I take comfort know they helped others. Thank you for your advice to us on here. It was always spot on and I am grateful. You help a lot do men (and their families) here and it is a better community for your presence.

I am again saddened by the loss of another brother I never met except through this site. Through posts we become connected by a mixture of triumphs and failures...... and sadness. I wish you the best and hope you can find peace in memories and laughter.

Another fallen warrior...

So sorry , my heartfelt condolences.


I am so sorry for your loss, Katy. Thinking of you and praying for your family during this sad time.


My dad died of prostate cancer and now my husband has been treated for it. I followed your story and continue to hold you and your dear family in my prayers as you grieve and continue on your journey. Thank you for sharing with us. Much love to you.❤️

Katy, I've read some of your recent posts, and it's truly endearing how much love and support you gave Joe through his tough battle. God bless you and your children on your path forward, and may Joe rest in peace.

Sorry Katy, I believe you will be together again someday. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joseph.


Yesterday was 4 months since my husband passed at age 54. It is a lonely road, but I still feel him with me. The more difficult recent memories come less often and the better ones from the past comfort me. Peace and love to you and your family

Darryl profile image


May you and the children find peace in his memory, strength in the way he fought, and comfort in knowing he will always watch over you....

Praying to God to liberate his Soul from worldly attachments.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to LearnAll


Katy my heart aches for you. I can feel your pain reading your posts. Life is not fair. I pray for you and your very young family.

May Joe Rest In Peace. We are praying for you!


Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to JamesAtlanta


Very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your children.

I'm so sorry for your loss - you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for sharing this tragic news with us. While it is hard to hear and even more difficult to imagine what you and your family are going through, I appreciate deeply you sharing with us. I too am a younger man on this forum (currently 51 - also with a young family) who has had to imagine leaving my family so early in life. I am deeply sorry for your loss and I hope that you and you children will find peace in time. Stay strong!

joekaty profile image
joekaty in reply to Chugach

I am so sorry. Leaving our family was the one thing that kept Joe fighting and holding on for so long and I will say three were so many times people said there wasn’t anything else and we always managed to find something else. I particularly see so much hope in the trials that focus on gene mutations. My husband just never had the right mutations. I wish you well and keep hanging in there bc truly, advances are happening all the time.

Prayers and blessings sending your way. We are holding you in our hearts.

So sorry to hear but thanks for sharing the journey along the way and as always special thanks to Joe for taking part in trials and helping to advance the science for the rest of us! Even when fighting cancer you two seemed to bring a kind of brightness into the world.

joekaty profile image
joekaty in reply to tom67inMA

Thank you! Taking part in trials is something I’ll always be very proud of him for!

Katy and family, our prayers are with you during this time of grieving. May good memories help in your healing. Thank you for sharing your husband’s story.

My sincerest condolences to you and the family :-(. So young to be taken by d*mn PCa

Rest in Peace Sir and suffer no more

Hugs from CA

Dear Katy . Thank you for letting us know and caring loving him til he had to leave . Love never dies . Your love are his wings to heaven . This is a real gut punch at such and early age. To me..It slaps the rest of us with reality in the face ... May you find inner strength and be surrounded by loved ones now . God blessed Joe with you ! 🙏

Fantastic picture. That’s the way to remember someone-a beautiful picture like that of both of you. He had a great life it appears till the aggressive prostate cancer showed up. Not long enough though. My apologies for his death. EDIT: i read his obituary. I used to ride my bicycle to the Katy Trail Ice House. It was very popular. When I get back to Dallas I am going to find Redfield Tavern and hoist one in Joe’s memory, as a fallen warrior and brother. He really fought the good fight.

joekaty profile image
joekaty in reply to Anomalous

Thank you so much! He was a truly talented and creative man who gave so much to Dallas and I am so proud of him- but I really just miss him like crazy!

Another fallen warrior, and the resonance of pain is felt across the battlefield!!!

I'm saddened to learn of another loss, and offer my sincerest heartfelt condolences to you and the family left behind. Bless you all!

So, so, so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻

Yes, fantastic picture. I went back and found the other pictures that I remembered you posted. I am hoping now, that the worst of this nightmare is over, you and the kids can build bridges to rainbows. I think Joe would like that.

I am at a loss for words My heart truly breaks as I read your post.. All I can say is God bless you and your children, and may you find the strength to continue. I,m sure your Husband was very proud of his family and the continuing support you gave till the bitter end.As others have said, taken from us far too young. Please take care of yourselves , and sending a big 'virtual' hug to all of you.

Kim xx

Dear Katy,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Joe's journey with us. You were the best advocate for him. Through your thoughtful posts we felt connected to you both. I want to thank you personally for your communications with me early in my journey. Because of Joe's willingness do anything and everything to beat this cancer he put himself through harsh treatments and kept going despite side effects. In doing this he was able to defy all odds and gain valuable time with you and your lovely family. May Joe rest in peace and watch over you all. He will live on through your children. Stay strong, God bless you🙏


Hidden profile image

I could say sorry, but that single word couldn't remotely describe how I feel. Surely you will keep Joe in your heart forever and a day. Let your children help you erase your sorrow as you help them heal theirs. May the healing hands of time help you though your heartache.


I had hoped and prayed for the best. But he is no longer suffering. We all have are own suffering but like your husband we will fight till the end

So very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your young family.

May you and your family find peace and healing 🙏

🙏🙏🙏, so sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your family

Dawn’s mother

My your treasured memories sustain you and your family and may Almighty God's blessings grace your entire family!!!!

ucladany profile image
ucladany in reply to SPEEDYX


Heartbreaking! Peace be with you and your lovely family. I’m so sorry.

Sending love n light to you/family 💜

Such an adorable couple. My heart ❤️ goes out to you and your family and friends. Thank you for letting us know.

So sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you and your family.

So sorry for your loss, so young is not fair.

Gods speed,and blessings

My heart goes out to you and your family.May he rest in peace!May God bless you and give you more strength to face a new brighter day with your children in honour of your late husband.🙏

May he rest in peace. And, peace now be with you.

God bless, so heartbreaking my thoughts and prayers are with you, we are all fighting our battles together sending my love & hugs to heaven. SheilaFxxx

Let us talk talk ...talkMemories and mental presence of departed loved one stay forever...Strange is this no return departure from Planet Earth leaving loved ones in tears...

Time is a big healer.....

Slowly tears, extreme sadness, helplessness , why this, settle down in inner mind and they stay there giving peace and images of joyful moments lived together....

In a state of emptiness...nonduality...transcending life death....

In inner Mind , beyond mind, .life starts blooming

It is a lived experience and no words can convey our inner state.....

Only those who went thru have the richness of these feelings......

Affection and tears....we are all connected without being connected....

Sorry to hear, his long fight is over. RIP

So sorry for your loss. You have my deepest condolences. I wish you peace and love.Theo

My thoughts are with you and his family It's reality check for me

It's the first thing I read

Hurts every time

I am so very sorry for the loss of your loving and brave husband and father of your children. I can’t imagine how you are all feeling at this dreadful time. May your wonderful memories help you all. Remember Katy Joe will always be with you unseen, unheard but always near. May god help and bless you all. May Joe RIP. X

God bless his soul. RIP

I am sorry to hear this. My sincere condolences to you. Stay strong in his memory and please take good care of yourself.


Sending all my love and thoughts to you and your family I know what you’re all going through and it’s so hard but I promise you will get through this you have been strong for him for so long now you have to be strong for you and your family if you need to talk I’m always here Xxxx

I'm so sorry 😭😭

I’m so so sorry for your loss!!! My husband was diagnosed 2 yrs ago at 57. It’s so heartbreaking Katy. I’m so sorry you and your family have to endure so much pain. I pray your heart will heal in time. May God bless you and your sweet family. 💙💙🦋🦋🙏🏻🙏🏻

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending all my love and prayers for you and your family. Your husband clearly loved you all so much, trying every treatment he could, hoping to stay with you a bit longer. Prostate Cancer is a devastating disease that unfortunately doesn’t discriminate and often takes wonderful men. I understand your pain my man passed away least year. 💜🙏

That is devastating news. I was born the same year and diagnosed ~3 years ago now stage 4 incurable. My thoughts are with you, 🙏

It's difficult to read the loss of your hubby but the gain is that he never has to go through this pain forever. Be strong! It's a matter of time, old or young and healthy or unhealthy, that one day we have to leave this world. My daughter died at the age of 38 of sarcoma (soft tissue cancer). She was treated at Stanford Hospital in CA, but didn't make it after a short 4 months of treatment. My wife and I will always be strong because I know we will be together again. Be strong, Katy! Cheers from Taiwan!

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to markoch26

You have my deepest condolences on the passing of your dear daughter. We are supposed to outlive our offspring. It must have been devastating to lose your daughter at such a young age. Hopefully she has learned to master her wings and circles you two constantly. God Bless her and you two also.

j-o-h-n Thursday 04/29/2021 6:45 PM DST

markoch26 profile image
markoch26 in reply to j-o-h-n

Thank you so much John! I know she is watching over us and taking care of us. God bless you, too!

Sorry to read about your loss. Hope for courage and fortitude for you and the family to face the future.

I pray for your family. I am so sorry Joseph contracted this disease so young. He never had the chance to fulfill his life.

My sincere condolences in the loss of your beloved and brave husband. May he rest in peace.

So sad to hear of Joe’s passing-my sincere condolences to you & your family at this sad time - you are in my thoughts & prayers



Dear Katy,

Such sad news, devastating for you and your family. As much as we stare this thing in the eye everyday and we won't be stared down, the ever present threat looms over us all, I don't know that many of us are really prepared for this the final act.

You will see Joe again, there is very little certainty in the world we live in, but we can be assured that God will bring you both together in the next.

My wife and I send you a and your family all our love.


Another fallen warrior. Right at my age too. God bless you and your children.

Peace be with you.

I am sure that you were a source of that hope. Blessings and warm thoughts.

Omg. I rarely shed tears and I do so as I write this. May God keep you all close

So very sorry the monster has taken another warrior, truly to young to have this battle 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I'm so sorry for your loss and may his soul now rest in peace. Cherish the memories and be strong for you and your family.

We share the grief of such an early departure from his family, loved ones and friends,

He will be missed, no doubt. So sorry about your loss .....

wishing you and the family peace.

Uncommon valor IS a common virtue in the joekaty family.


Adding my thoughts and love to all others to help sustain you through this incredibly sad time ❤️

My condolences to you and your family.

We never die as long as someone remembers us. Your memories give him life and I sense those memories of him give you hope and purpose, knowing that he still walks beside you each day in your heart.

I am so sorry to hear Joe lost his battle. He was warrior.

May God bring peace to your family.

oh my Katy, crying here.I looked for and read Joe's obituary and because he studied at a Jesuit school,

I am going to write this in Latin :

Requiescat in pace.

May he rest in peace and may the angels escort him into paradise.

My sincerest sympathy to you and your family.


My heart goes out to you and your family. This is one place we can say "We understand."

I admire the fight and warrior spirit in you both.

May you find peace and comfort.


I am so sorry for your loss!

Dear Katy, My wife and I feel so much sadness for you, and your 6 children. Joe did everything a Man could do. You must know there was nothing more you cold do. Find comfort that Joe is no longer in pain. His spirit will always be with you. He will come to you in many ways. Hold your head high so your children learn your inner strength, and go through their lives with that same determination that you have clearly shown them. You know they will succeed in all aspects of life. We send you many blessings,

Mike & Barbara

St Petersburg, FL

Get some rest, Katy. When you wake, spend some time in the sunshine and marvel at what you two had and keep him in your heart as you go best as you can. Goodbye Joe. Be safe Katy!

I am so sorry that you lost your husband. So young. So tragic. Prayers for you to receive the Lord's comfort.

I am so sorry for your loss. There are so many great souls in this group and we all fight, and grieve, together. My mom passed away earlier this year from a horrible illness and each day I remember more of the times before her battle, and that provides me with great comfort and warms my heart. I pray for you knowing your wonderful husband is looking down on you, and his spirit remains in your heart.

Im so sorry. I will pray for you and your family. Very sobering.

Peace, Johnny

I just love that picture, and feel so sad, every time we lose one of our herd, I cry for him and all of us.

Hello, Goid bless you. I too lost my sweet one recently, March 3rd of this year. He was also young. I feel your pain with you. He was my best friend.

We’ve been fighting since 2017. Prayers to your family. So sorry for your loss

I am so sorry... prayers to you and your family

Prayers for comfort, peace and strength

Sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers and thoughts. May you find peace and comfort!

Only the good die young they say, I am really sorry for your loss.

Oh heart breaks for you & your beautiful children. I've been following your tough journey with so much hope. Please know that you are surrounded in prayer.

I'm so sorry. Thank you for being here, sharing, and being a light in this fight with your posts. May peace be with you and your family. - Joe M.

I am very sorry to read this news. Sending you and your family love and prayers at this difficult time.

So sorry to hear this. Prayers for peace and comfort for his entire family.

I am so sorry that you have lost someone so close and dear to you. Sometimes, this disease can be fast and brutal. I am only happy that his suffering has ended.

I wish you and your family the brightest of futures. You will always remember him. At some point in the future, you will need to push yourself to move on and I am sure your husband would have wanted that.

I wish you a beautiful life, filled with love and adventure. Those of us left on this earthly plane are blessed to have the chance to explore and make ourselves as happy as we can be.

My condolences and all the best to you and your family.

So SORRY, Katy! We know he will be missed but good to know that you will see him again! Prayers for and blessings to you! 🙏

I'm very sorry for your loss, may God watch over you all during this very difficult time and always ... hopefully someday they'll find a cure for this most difficult of cancers.

RIP, Joe. Our sympathies to Katy.

So sorry and so young! May he Rest In Peace!

So very sorry for your loss, RIP brother!


Obviously I never met you and Joe; however, I just can’t hold back the tears every time I look at this picture of the most beautiful young couple denied a ‘full’ lifetime together. I keep asking Why? I hope you find some comfort in knowing that Joe is up there watching over you as you did on earth for him!

I am so saddened by your loss. It sounds as though your time together was filled with love and you will be able to draw on that bank of memories forever. I have started down the same road as Joseph and I also have love surrounding me. My deepest condolences

Fear not, for you will be with him for all eternity, "To die in Christ is gain."

I'am so sorry for your loss. I feel for you as I lost my husband to this terrible cancer less than 2 months ago. Our journey was 26 months. It was truly a roller coaster ride. Allow yourself to grieve and take one day at a time. There will be bad days and better days. Stay busy and pray. My husband is in Heaven also. I know his spirit is with me and i know we will see our dear husbands again. We are just passing thru this life. Our true home is in Heaven. Your husband is happy and in no more pain. He will be praying for you. I will pray for you also.

I’m so very sorry. My heart breaks with yours.

Katy, I am so sorry for the loss of Joe. At least his pain is over but sadly yours continues. I looked at the photo that you posted of your beautiful family. I’m so sad for you and your children. Children so young should not have to lose their father this early in their precious lives. I simply can’t imagine the loss that you are experiencing. Keep your beautiful children close because you all need each other so much. God bless you and your family.


My sincerest condolences. The greatest gift to you other than his love for you is your children! You and he will live on through them.

The pain of separation, it gets easier with time but will never go away--never! What an awful "deal" we sometimes get in life. There is sometimes a high price attached to experiencing the best in life. When reading your posts the depth of the love within your family is apparent.

When needed, family, friends and clergy can be helpful. Sometimes grief counseling can help one understand the stages of and different ways people grieve. This can be helpful not only you, but let you know what to watch for with the children. I was in the funeral business for quite a few years. I have had my own losses and seen how others deal with the loss of a loved one as well. When a life is well planned and suddenly the life ends that is traumatic. The long demise --harder for all.

Sometimes a small kindness, or even a brief but thoughtful conversation with someone can be that which gets us through a bad day. A hello and smile can be uplifting. Even a memory.

Be strong when you need to be strong. When weakness comes upon you with it's weight, it will, accept it knowing the strength will return.

Because of your vocation you know about loss and how to deal with it. This is different. It always is when it is --us. Even when we have helped others with their losses.


God Bless your family.RIP - Joseph - Amen.

I'm very sorry for your loss! May the good Lord's abiding presence comfort you during this difficult time!!

I have hoped this day would not come.I am so anger that your children and you will live your lives without this wonderful man♥️

He fought so hard to be with his family

and I hope everyday they feel his love❤️

I will have a mass said for him and will put your family on the prayer list. Please let me know

As time goes by , how you and family are doing

God bless Joe and your family

Love. sharon

My thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

What a beautiful couple. So saddened by your news and very sorry for your profound loss.

Blessings and condolence as to your heart is heavy.

Another too young to go. My condolences to you & family.

I read Joe's obituary:

He was quite a man. I know that every one of our members would have been proud to be a personal friend of his. God must be proud to have him near with his expertise at developing new ventures. He fought his war here on Earth and it's time to be an angel and to watch over you Kathy and his six children and his family. May God give you and your children strength and solace to continue your lives as Joe would have wanted. Bless you all.

j-o-h-n Thursday 04/29/2021 6:32 PM DST

Another brother gone. Don't know how many more I can stand. Everyone hurts, especially the young ones.. May God bless and hold you tight. . Doug

Tragic news. So sad.😢

My heart hurts for you and your family! May you find peace! 🙏🙏🙏

Sorry for your loss, my prayer and condolences for you and the whole family.he may rest in peace😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

My condolences 🙏

I'm blessed to have you in my life in this condition, your family are an a gift to us Joeseph is an angle for us, I will fight to survive.

I am so sorry fort our loss! I am also the spouse of a newly diagnosed Advanced Stage 4 Prostate Cancer patient. He certainly sounded like he fought the fight till the end! Wishing you healing light and a peaceful transition to life “after”.

Very sorry for your loss. Praying for peace and solace during this tough time. May God bless you and your family.

Sadness. Sounds like a fighter.

Sorry for your loss. May his soul rest in peace.

Your story closely parallels the story we’re still telling. While I know that ours will end similarly, I’m grateful for the time we have. The aggression of my husband’s disease made us wonder (and sometimes doubt) if he’d be around to watch our children grownup. My husband was diagnosed on his 49th birthday, leading us to sometimes call his bday D-day for diagnosis day). He’s now 53. On May 10th, our youngest graduates from high school. Even though he never feels well and every day is a struggle of struggles, he will likely be able to watch our son play lacrosse in college.

Some days it is hard to be strong and accepting. Honestly, my husband is better at both than me a lot of the time. I feel your pain and pray for you and your family. Sooner or later, we’ll all be in your shoes. Thank you for being an inspiration.

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