- My prostate cancer had spread to one site in my pelvis. Nothing showing in the lymph nodes.
- Went on Lupron & Zytiga. PSA dropped to zero after 5 months.
- Went off the meds for about 9 months after which my PSA started creeping up. Scans showed the cancer to be active again but had not spread further.
- Had radiation and am on Lupron again. The plan is that I'll come off the Lupron in Oct if my PSA stays low. PSA is currently 0.2.
I'm considering retirement when I turn 62. It is earlier than I had planned. I don't enjoy my work. Financially it's doable but it would be tighter than I had planned. I just don't want to regret not having more time not working should the worse happen. Any insights and/or opinions?
Thank you.
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fireandice123
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Don't even think about it, If you can afford to retire (even if you have to tighten your belts a little ) do it ! Life is too short, enjoy it while you can, no-body knows what's round the corner, we certainly didn't. Hubbie now happier , no stress (apart from the obvious ) and I love him being with me more . Admittedly he's further down the line than yourself , we are making the most of the time he has left.
I think that is a critical part of your decision. I feel the same. So three options:
1) Stick it out, make the best of it, for as long as possible.
2) Find more meaningful and enjoyable employment.
3) Quit working altogether.
As nice as the third might sound, for some it is not just financial considerations that might make that a bad choice. Many men lose a sense of purpose and meaning without being subjected to the "daily grind" of productive (if unenjoyable) work. For some, quitting it can be more stressful in a way than the crappy job they gave up.
The second option is obviously the best, but is never easy. It seems for over-50 men it keeps getting harder, unless you have certain skills or talents or enjoyments. For introverts, I think it usually means either starting your own business or somehow monetizing something you have a passion for.
If you settle for Door #1 (as I currently am) then I think it is important to develop some sort of spiritual practice, where your identity and happiness are not strictly tied to the factual reality of less-than-ideal employment.
And when you get THAT perfected, please let me know, because I sure haven't.
some men just cannot afford to retire. But if you can see a way to make it work financially ,probably trimming your spending habits ( or not if you've always been frugal as I've been entire life)...there are so many ways in life to keep yourself busy, satisfied, etc> of course, for a very small sub-group of men, I suppose nothing makes them happier than doing the job they are currently doing. Look to Congress for good examples...and our last 2 Presidents? But I doubt any but a very small minority feel that way bout the current job.
For most men, expand your horizons! Forget deadlines!!
Retire and find something that will make you happy. I retired at the end of 2020 still working on my finances but my major decision point was that the work was not enjoyable anymore no regrets. Good luck!
Retire as soon as you can. It's no longer about the money, it's abut enjoying life to it's fullest. You never know how many years you have left to enjoy. Start enjoying now. I retired when I was 62 ( 8 years ago) and it was the wisest decision I have made.
I retired when I was 49...had money then; however, my estranged wife took everything 'other than' my comfortable condo in Thailand and my Toyota pickup! I'm now existing on a paltry Social Security 'entitlement', but I have no regrets. Maybe one...I should have divorced her before I allowed her to clean me out!
Dam ronron. I know that you’re a self made man . Not the toyota pickup too .? That’s too far .. 🌵😎👍 this is the financial path of a divorced man . You’re still rockin with love at home . Be well friend .
Scott, Fortunately she didn't get the pickup or the condo...I still have them but that's all that's left! Oh, I forgot about the little old Nissan NV which I still have. It's a cute mini version of a Chevy El Camino/Ford Ranchero.
Yes,I misunderstood .. I’m in similar shape . Not thru divorce . During the first housing crunch I was flipping homes and lost half ,couldn’t recover or work due to APC kicking my as for years as we spent savings ,..luckily I still have the toy truck and our tiny home and mucho love .
That's all that we need! I have Swedish friend here that loves to showoff on Facebook, Twitter, etc. He posts videos of everything that he does...everywhere that he goes, what he drives, what he eats, his Rolex watch collection, bank balance recordings, everything that he buys and even videos himself paying for the stuff! He has hundreds of pics where he is holding up his left thumb so that everyone can see his gold Rolexes. He is glued to his phone from the minute he wakes up until he falls asleep just waiting for the spurious 'Likes' from his so-called fans. He obviously needs this form of attention to fulfill something that is missing in his life. His Thai wife told a couple of her girlfriends that she married him only for his money! I wonder if he is any happier than we are? You have Sherry, and I'm totally content just staying in and around my condo with my 'significant other'...I don't need to do/have any of those things to impress my 'real' friends! Peace bro!
Youre in the right place friend . You heart is correct . The FB generation is crazy .. Me neither My Man . Life is about love . In any form . I’ll take it any day over material bs . Just having food water and a roof in this decade will be priceless .
You could probably say that your penis is bigger than mine now too and be right. But that ain’t saying much . My ego left me six years ago . I do like 4by 4s though . And Kim chee.✌️😷
I own a couple of small companies with my Wife as partner, she took over the running (I'm just non paid board member now). Pain specialist put me on work disability and I also took early retirement from the bank I worked for as IT specialist (they were quite generous) and at 56 it wasn't an issue to do this on health grounds. I'm not rich by any means but I'm lucky that I don't have any loans, debts or mortgage left to pay which puts me in a pretty good financial position, it's given me extra precious time with my boys, eldest turned 12 years in Jan, it was the best decision for all of us. My Oncologist doesn't think I will make it to 60, so that was also part of the decision process.
On my good days I can help the Wife out a little with work (because I enjoy it) but most of the time I just take care of the house chores, feed the dogs etc. It's getting harder and have serious pain and fatigue in my legs, most of my treatments are failing now, I'm back on Chemo again and don't think I have many options after that. So family enjoyment is my priority.
Several years ago my onco expected that by last year things would be happening to me. Last November he decided that our "visits" need to be less frequent!
Same situation. Turned 62 end of last year. Still haven’t pulled the trigger because of concerns about deductibles and travel expenses coming up from treatment. Fortunately I am teleworking so that makes it much easier. As soon as that ends I’m out
Hi, I was hit in 2015 at 57 years old. Had ADT and 15 Taxotere sessions, back on it 6 years later to resolve two 1 cm pelvic lymph nodes. In my case, I still really enjoy working as a dds. In most cases, my patients help me with the ADT induced depression. I turn on my Dr. Kam persona and don't have much thought of what's going on inside.
I have been in my office for 21 years and have multiple three generation families still as patients. So, for me, work distracts me and provides me financial stability and stress relief.
It’s a tough time to do that with the CV19 ongoing. No where to go! Limited things to do! I was forced into early retirement at 63. My wife still works as we’re in the 66 1/3 group so its just me at home all day..... every day. If there is any silver lining, I was able to get the balance of my penalized SS $$$ (for early out) through SS disability so at least $$ is not an issue. ADT / Eligard destroyed my cognitive & executive abilities but that has it own burdens as you can imagine!! Not the golden years I imagined. Anyway, just do it and we can only pray that this virus gets into check and we can do gyms, family gatherings, walks in parks, sport events, etc..... you know, living the life we’re in titled to. I hope it happens before my wife retires in a year. I’ll bet my outlook changes then!!!!Jc
"...destroyed my cognititve & executive abilities..." I too am an executive, I too have terrible "chemo brain" from my docetaxel treatment and worry I cannot return to work properly. How does PCa enable SS disability? That would be the trick for us "youngsters" far far away from medicare age. DM me if you will if you can provide advice please.
Right or wrong.... I’ll respond here (first) so others might benefit. It was a long scary road into the unknown so I hope this helps others.I was a construction Project Manager / General Superintendent. Roughly a year after starting ADT, I was fired from my job for being a complete lame-braim! Schedules, estimates, budgets, spreadsheets... all things management.... became a complete shit show! Nothing made sense. As simple as finding things in the files!!! Everything that was second nature was completely foreign to me!!! Mistakes upon mistakes! I also had people coming up to me after meetings saying “what the f$&k were you talking about”! Had no clue that I was even of topic!! Violent..... holy shit!!! Then I was caught napping in a rest area.... couldn’t drive more than an hour without my eye virtually closing. Found myself not knowing where I was while driving. It would eventually come to me. It started just in the tunnels in Boston then happened anytime. And so much more. The scary part is that I really didn’t put 2 & 2 together and just kept plugging. Fortunately, the Owner recognized something was very wrong and was checking me behind my back. Caught most of the major mistakes.
Now to your question:
My Oncologist was the only one that came to my side as his partner fell victim to the same symptoms and had to leave the practice.
He approved my paperwork for RI TDI (temp disability insurance ( a State run Afflac)). That ran out after 5mo’s and I found myself at my wits end only being 62yo, trying to figure out how not to end up living in a refrigerator box under an overpass. Hours of fact finding.... I found out I could open my SS claim with a penalty because I am in the 66-1/3 year old group. They said I could appeal for SS disability that (if accepted) would pay the difference of the monies penalized!! I was also told that it is nearly impossible that I was guaranteed to be shot down first time around. I was advised to lawyer up.... so I did! Met with a specialist in SS affairs. I was floored when he told me to just go through the motions and come back if rejected. So, as direction came from SSA / RI., I did as they demanded. I had to be interviewed by a State appointed shrink which had me shitting bricks. Very intimidating but honestly did my best to complete all the tests to the best of my ability. I actually thought that I shot myself in the foot because I did so well.... turn out I failed miserably which kind of hit me harder that not getting the money!!
Not a word from the State then my direct deposit reflected 100% retirement benefit rate!! About $600 a month bump!
However, you cannot get medicare until 65 unless you disabled for 2 years. That was the killer as I had to buy 1.5 years of my existing coverage @ $20,000 a year. I turned 65 exactly 2years since I was considered disabled!!
A warning.... to be able to afford the insurance, I took money out of my annuity account to pay off my house mortgage. Could not afford both payments monthly! Now a lear or so later... no that I’m on Medicare which is based upon your previous yeas income..... bit me square in the ass!!! Counts as income! Now instead of $140 mo, its $500mo for both myself and my wife!!! $700 +/- a freaking month for a knee-jerk decision (mistake) on my part!
That goes for everyone (unless someone comes up with some wisdom here), they go back two years and base you Medicare on that income and you pay buy scale!!!
Any help?!!!
Jc
Ps: A year and a half completely off ADT A LOT of side effects are gone but these ones have not let in the slightest..... a whole other story!!!!
If it's not about the money anymore then make sure that you are retiring "to" something. You can only paint the house so much. You might get the book: Your Countdown to Retirement" by Kathryn Severns Avery. She covers the 10 non-financial things to be considered before you retire.
From a financial/legal position, you might want to consult with an estate planner earlier rather than later. Just going though that process earlier rather than later may help surface many previously undiscussed issues concerning your various $ accounts/streams and their eventual disposition/"split" upon your death, and will also provide the added benefit of getting you some updated end-of-life/estate planning documents in place well ahead of need.
From a medical/quality of life/evolving capabilities/"roles and responsibilities and capabilities" position, my anecdotal experience since my (already long retired) diagnosis at age 65 over 7 years ago would say to really consider a retirement or at least a sharp work phase-down if you can. On-going ADT and other treatments, in my experience, have been a continued slow decline in physical/stamina capabilities. But there did come a time when I realized that there was no way I would have been able to do what it would take to hold down a full time job again. There also came times when my daily long walks and other "manly" tasks got harder and harder to to as I moved on to secondary treatments. Some of those things I eventually arranged to have others do when I could no longer comfortably/safely/prudently do them myself.
Yes, I had to do a bit of grieving over the loss/modifications of some of my former roles, responsibilities and capabilities, but it also released time in my life for other things I had not previously imagined. A lot of things became much less "important" in the greater scheme of things. "Don't sweat the small stuff" developed whole new categories of things that magically became "small stuff" again. Different flexibilities developed. Different priorities. Different possibilities vs. options vs. constraints. Also more time for personal "work" and the Living of Life with immediate caregiver & family members. ... For me, it has been a whole new phase of my life.
I’m 58 and just retired this week. I’m now hormonal resistant and can qualify for SSDI so I’m going for it. I actually love my work but I can’t keep up with an 8 hour day of meetings anymore. But I have two young kids (7 and 9) who I am going to LOVE being the stay at home dad for. I just ordered wheels to build a go cart!
It helps that my wife is willing to keep working and carry the health insurance etc. But this is a bonus for her too since I can take over management of their distance learning, homework, lunches, etc.
It’s only been a week and I’m definitely still thinking about the work I left behind. But I’m smart enough to know what I’m retiring TO is going to be even better.
I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago at age 55 and I decided to take early retirement. I loved my job but I wanted to make sure I had a few years of retirement before I died. It took me many months to wrap my head around this massive change in my life plan but I don't regret it. My income is less but I can survive on it. I've been able to do lots of things that I always put off until later. I believe the lack of work stress has contributed to my successful treatment so far. Best of luck.
I retired the first time at 65, then went back about a year later due to needing me back. Then pca hit, chemo and adt, worked part time and still working only 10 to 15 hours, gives me social contacts, excercise and enougj to pay for the arbitrone with some left for fun money. I will probably retire for good at 71 or 72. My goal is to be with the company for 20 years, I do like what I do do work is fun.
" I don't enjoy my work. " That's the key phrase, IMO. Everyone is different. I'm 78, on ADT for two years with spine met, and I still work as a consultant about half time. My work involves complex technical analyses. It's difficult, but it's fulfilling. I pay close attention to my PCa, but if I wasn't working, I'd probably start over-thinking it.So if you do retire, find something fulfilling that keeps you busy so you don't just sit around thinking about your illness.
I did just that last November. With such low interest rates, it seemed to make good sense. Now most mornings I check the market to see how it's all going...... I'm a bit in front, but mostly it's up👆and down👇like a pair of hookers panties 😁
Pick Morningstar 4 and 5 star Silver and Gold rated mutual funds in multiple sectors and maintain the course. Don’t forget to keep some money in cash to live on and put some money in investment grade bond funds (or ETF’s) that can be transferred into stocks when the market corrects!
Do it!!!! My husband had 3 years retirement while I was still working as I'm a bit younger. We had 13 months then he was given the devastating news that there was no further treatment and he had months to live. Both worked all our lives for 13 months. Don't wait, enjoy your retirement, mo ey isn't everything.
Hi, understand your concern. I retired at 62 was diagnosed at 66 now 73 locked down here in Australia. So happy I retired early as you never know what is around the corner. I feel as this Covid-19 is taking away valuable years. Hope it all goes well for you.
Hi Stanny, I'm here in Australia too. Shame the El Nina is taking away our summer, but it's good to see the rain and it's better than all the years of drought we've just been through, cheers mate👍
I just turned 62, considered retiring many times. I keep working in part because the insurance makes treatment so much more affordable. 9-10 hour days get longer than they used to be but then i like my job and the people I work with. If i had ro say i was not happy i would probably go.
Your post is great timing for me. I was diagnosed 1 year ago stage 4, spread to 1 lymph node and several mets on pelvis bone. On Eligard and Xtandi. I just turned 62 and thinking about retiring this year. It will be financially tight but can do it. I like my job as IT specialist and working from home this past year has made it easy but it is getting a little too much. I'm concerned about carrying the medical insurance until 65 when I can get Medicare. I have great insurance through my employer so will probably carry the COBRA for 18 months (at about 14k per year... ouch). after that the health care market place for a year. My wife is all for me retiring and my grown kids too. I have 5 grand kids. I'm feeling ok and SE are manageable now but I want to retire early because you never when things will turn for the worst and I may as well take advantage of being able to do stuff. Everyone seems to be telling you to just do it which is what I wanted to hear. Thanks.
If you retire, there may be an option to extend Cobra coverage for 36mos vs the typical 18mos. Do a bit of research on the specifics.
My old company HR nor the Cobra people told me about the option. And I had to send them a copy of the statute. But it worked for me and I was able to use 30mos of Cobra until Medicare kicked in.
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am considering retirement at 63 & 1/2 years of age. I understand that I would be covered under COBRA until at age 65 when Medicare kicks in. My question has to do with my wife, who would be 61 at the time I retire. Since COBRA seems to have a 36 month limit, would she be covered until she becomes 65 and eligible for Medicare? Would the trigger for a spouse apply when I become eligible for Medicare to extend the time of her coverage, or would we have to find a private plan for that extra year?
The Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA) requires that employees may elect COBRA health insurance coverage from the date of the qualifying event for a limited period of 18 or 36 months.
The length of time depends on the type of qualifying event that made you eligible for COBRA continuation coverage. The group health plan, may provide longer periods of coverage beyond the maximum period required by law.
When the qualifying event is the covered employee’s termination of employment or reduction in hours of employment, qualified beneficiaries are entitled to 18 months of continuation coverage.
When the qualifying event is the end of employment or reduction of the employee’s hours, and the employee became entitled to Medicare less than 18 months before the qualifying event, COBRA coverage for the employee’s spouse and dependents can last until 36 months after the date the employee becomes entitled to Medicare.
For other qualifying events, qualified beneficiaries must be provided 36 months of continuation coverage.
I am kind of in the same boat, I retired this year at 57. I was planning on going at 60 but obviously things have changed. Things for me are a little tighter than I would like and I have begun to travel when I had planned on doing that 5 years from now. I would suggest that you do retire, it is so very wonderful. Also, apply for disability SSDI allows you to retire and claim benefits that are owed to you. Good luck my friend
I remember some time back when this was all fresh, upon my original diagnosis and the world all shrinking and becoming small around me... Yes, the overwhelming part of being told you have cancer ...
I remember coming across some first person accounts of patients, loved ones and or care givers talking about cancer patients, etc. and one of them stood out above the rest and has remained in my conscious thoughts since.
She was a nurse for 30years and in Oncology for approx 2 decades, and she told the most poignant story in response to a question she was asked about what is the most important thing she could tell to a cancer patient... She reflected that in all her time, holding hands if those departing this place, those passing on, how many cried, and many expressed regrets, unfinished business of things they wanted to do, about not spending enough time with family, or kids, or having them, etc... But she recalled most strikingly that she could never recall or remember a single patient lamenting that they wished they had worked more! Not one...
So, as I myself now stand at this precipice, with decisions to make, can I retire, should I retire, what will I do if I retire, how will it impact my life, my wife, my loved ones... Two things stand out. One is that I've not spent much time worrying about whether or not it's financially prudent to do so as it's not the most important thing to me... I'll eat Mac & Cheese for the rest of my days if that's what it takes, and the other thing is how much time might remain?
See, that's the kicker... We all punch a clock, but we don't know when we are checking out! And when that bell rings for us, there is no reset, there's no going back and figuring how to squeeze another minute of time, nobody to plead with to just wait a few will ya'...
Time is the most precious commodity!
.
.
Ancient Japanese Maxim:
Ichi Go Ichi
Each moment, once!
.
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Figuring how to use that gift most precious to us all, is the hardest part. And the reckoning we all must face!
Wishing you the very best regards on your journey!
You didn't "plan" to get cancer. Life is messy. It tends to rob us of choices, but not our freewill. Retirement without adequate resources can become a prison. Working at a job you dislike is a death sentence. Still you need to plan and think in terms of "what ifs." What makes you happy, where do you find moments of contentment and personal reward, what do you need to do for your family, what parts of your life define you, and how do you want to be defined? The bigger question isn't about retirement; it must be focused on who you are; or, more importantly, who you want to become.
I was lucky that I worked for a small company that let me gradually cut back on my work. I was already on Medicare so that was not a problem. Went from working five days a week to two days a week. Did that for about three years than cut back to one day a week for two years. I finally packed it in and don't look back. I couldn't believe how much pressure was lifted from my shoulders the last time I walked out the door. I am now 79 years old with multiple cancers, heart disease, type 2 diabetes and other issues but my wife and I have a good life.
The key is that you do not enjoy your work. REgardless of the other issues of PCa, My decision was different and I continue to work at age 77 with PCa because I love what I do. I cut back hours to basically halftime. Working for me.
I retired at 57 after being dx at age 55, stage 4 with extensive mets. I stuck it out worked for 2 years after dx even while I was undergoing chemo, etc. My job was very demanding, stressful at times and required a lot of mental acuity.I was able to qualify for SSA disability due to my stage 4 dx. My employer also provided LTD which has been a godsend.
It’s now been just about 7 years since dx and I don’t regret retiring one bit. I focus on enjoying whatever time I have left, as well as ongoing treatments and taking care of myself mentally, physically and spiritually. It is so nice not to have work stress in my life. My cancer is currently under control but it’s day to day, month to month as far as that goes.
I recall when I attended a funeral of a friend who died of brain cancer at an early age after a long battle, and you know not one person giving a eulogy mentioned what a good worker he was. Everyone spoke of memories of spending time with him during his life and final days. That’s what’s really important.
No one at the end of their life ever regrets not working longer. Retire, and attend to your highest priorities for fulfillment and satisfaction in life. Time in life is so precious.
Luckily I had taken retirement 2 years prior to diagnosis...but I could have retired 2 years earlier at 62. I now wish I had. Things will only get more challenging with time...so go for it! Life is short...enjoy it as much as you can as early as you can...and as healthy as you can. All the best!
That's a really good point. I feel good now. Don't know how long it will last but I don't want to waste this time working. I had a co-worker that could have retired many years before he did. Actually his wife had a very successful business and he didn't really have to work at all. He finally retired at 64 and got pancreatic cancer in the first year. He died 2 months later. It's not like he could have anticipated that but life is so uncertain. Need to grab happiness while we can.
My Beloved brother Mike died two years ago at 63 . One year after retiring from the USPO . This is a typical American male path . Work til you drop . I went on ssdi at 53 with APC tumors blocking my bladder and urethra . If an organ is involved it qualifies for ssdi . It has helped keep the lights on . I’m 1/2 the guy that I used to be . I practice daily happiness and don’t fret about poverty much . We have food ,water , a roof and love . Find your happiness in the storm . Pluck the day !
Im 55 and I retired 4 yrs ago because they told me I only had 5 years ago. I had financial planning with 2 diff disability sources so I was lucky, plus my wife still works.
I maintain a very stress free life and this has led to keeping my disease under control. Working would add stress and I believe shorten my life.
I say retire, it could add to your longevity.
But not everyone can be young and not work. Its a personal decision that no one can make for you. For me I keep very busy but thats me. You have to be prepared for a fair amount of down time, but as time goes on the dr appointments, prescriptions, rest, become harder to manage and more time consuming.
At this point I could never go back and it was a good decision.
My husband and I retired early and moved to Mexico. He was 61 and I was 55.he was diagnosed at 63. It was a huge shock but I must say that I often thank God that we were here. Now we work a little here and there for ourselves but we have wonderful times with coffee in bed or traveling! Our schedule is our own. Wouldn't have to it any other way.
Strictly a personal decision. Metastatic at 57. I asked my Oncologist if I should retire at age 60. His reply, Do you want retire? ........ I retired at 62 because I was ready..... going to work was a chore...... the day I retired, driving home it was as if a heavy weight was lifted. I am 74 years of age and not once have I looked back with regret on retiring early. Key is to stay “busy” with those endeavors which are important to you.
You may have to cut back on discretionary spending, so it is a personal decision. BTW, I never applied for SSDI as my MO told me he would be hard pressed to write the letter. I took that as good news......
I work in IT. It’s not a bad job. I just have no interest anymore, about any type of work actually. I realize I would need to find something to keep me occupied and give me a sense of purpose. Can’t sit around and just worry.
I'm in IT also. I do software development, integration, machine learning...I find my new work very satisfying but I do understand the unsatisfied feeling. I had that until I started my new work 2 years ago.
I think its that rut feeling.
Anyway. Good luck. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.
Software development? My eye. You manufacture those carboard figures of people that they use to fill up sports arenas..... (and you're good at it....since you make them based upon race, religion, creed and their country of origin)..... OPA!!!
As you know, health insurance is a big problem with retiring before 65 when you become Medicare eligible. You can apply for Obamacare but expect to pay outrageous premiums and large deductibles and copays. Make sure you investigate your options. Disability from SS is hard to obtain. You would probably have to apply several times and perhaps hire legal help
As you know our medications are expensive as well as testing plus MO fees.
So if you have the means to take care of the above go for it. Good luck!🍸🍸🤠
Time is not money now. Time is more precious. Follow what you love. I accepted ssdi in 2015 at age 53. Been broke ever since. I couldn’t work. I had tubes out of my back for almost two years. It’s a meager existence but no clock to punch is freedom.
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Prostate cancer spread to lymph nodes 
Docetaxel lowering my fathers psa to 7.5. Is it too early to be celebrating?
