It’s was early 1978, (Saturday night fever was recently released on Dec 14 Th, 1977. Peter and I had individually gone to see this movie several times to learn the dance steps).
My Knight in Shining Armor would show up, not on a white stallion, but on a motor bike. Him and his friend invited me and my two batch mates to go dancing. 3 young ladies, 2 motorbikes and 2 young men. I said I couldn’t go because I was studying for my final exams, besides how can you take three of us dancing when you have 2 motorbikes.”
This young man with the neatest Afro I had ever seen, bell bottoms and kickers and gold chains hanging down his neck said, “I will send a car for you ladies.” I thought to myself: “this is not my type.” One of my batch mates asked, “who is interested in the one with the Afro, I said girl he is all yours, not my type.”
Minutes later a Tapir showed up honking its horn. My batch mates had convinced me I should go , since they knew how much I loved to dance. We got to the club, we strategically sat in a way that both young ladies would be at either end so their love interests can be next to them.
This Knight got back from the bar with our shandy, grabbed a chair and placed it behind me and the young lady who was interested in him.
Bee Gees blasting “Night Fever,” “Staying Alive,”and “How Deep Is Your Love, “ as him and I showcased our familiarity with John Travoltas’s and Karen Gorney’s steps on the dance floor.
He went home that night and told his friends he had met his wife. They laughed at him. He was confident because he had asked God to send him some one who would be interested in education, and who would pass that on to his children. Through the difficulties he would say, “I have prayed, for you and you are not going anywhere.” He would later tell our children that “a girl never gave me a hard time like your mother.” My daughter would ask mom you and dad are like night and day, what was it you saw, “ I said he was a great dancer.” I told her later it was a very embarrassing moment when she said “an intelligent woman like my mom chooses a man because he dances well!”
After becoming a christain and i would comment how come we never fought like this before ( not understanding the spiritual warfare) my sister Amanda would say “thats because you couldn’t hear hear each other over the loud music”.
Through a very difficult time in our marriage, my brother Abraham would counsel me: “ Polly you can go to Africa and see demons flee from people, you can bring the gospel to the world, BUT UNTIL YOU FIX YOU MARRIAGE LIFE YOU WILL LOOSE OUT.” Best piece of advice given me in 41 years of our relationship.
As i begun to surrender deeper and deeper to God, i realized the problem was not only Peter. My prayers were so specific that “the children would see the power of prayer, the power of forgiveness and the power of love, words my son would later repeat verbatim.
41 years later, (until he passed), migration, two children, night and “Day Fever”, our love was deep enough for us to “stay alive.”
His fidelity, hard work and love for our children and I can never be denied. Through all the vicissitudes of life, when the question would individually search our souls: How Deep Is Your Love, our love remained and will always remain alive.
Remnants of a fragmented love story that lasted.
Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the earth: You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.
Retrospective Thoughts: Life and love are not perfect perfect, but can be lasting if we are prepared to do the work.
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I am grateful ti have had a positive effect on your life. Yes I will love him forever . I have been annoyed by friends who want to engage in conversations about future marriage.
I have seriously asked God to seal that love i have in my heart for him, and to close that.
We were 19 & 21 when we met. We grew up in love, admiration and respect for each other. It hasn’t been an easy journey but we got through the growing pains.
At times its so painful to get on this site, but o remember how therapeutic it was for us. My husband and I would read and comment, and write when inspired.
What a wonderful, wonderful post. We all need to be reminded that "staying alive" is not just the delaying of physical death (that always comes sooner or later) but is knowing that we can live on in the hearts and minds of those who love us. And we all need to work to be our (flawed) best selves, here and now, for the sake of ALL selves. So thank you for that reminder.
As a hard-rock teen in the 1970s, my group identity required that "I Hate Disco" and so refusing to like the Bee Gees was a necessity. Your post title struck a nerve, because in 2014 (at age 54) I actually opened my mind and HEARD that song, and suddenly appreciated the musical and lyrical talent of Barry Gibb & Bros. for the very first time. Suddenly, I was a Bee Gees FAN. (My kids are still amused and confused at my conversion.)
Personal fave: nobody gets "Too Much Heaven" no more.
Hey Noahware,If you have HBO there is currently showing a documentary on the lives of The Bee Gees. It illiterates the extraordinary, and sometimes overlooked, talent each brother possessed in his own way. Their song writing is comparable in many ways to their compatriots, the Beatles, and they went on to write amazing hit songs for other artists that most people may not be aware of, I certainly wasn’t. I’m a 60s/70s era teen who paid little attention to the Bee Gees back in the day. I guess “the joke was on me” for not recognizing their tremendous and lasting gift to pop music. Now these days I always turn up the radio when they’re on. Hope you get a chance to view this great documentary. BTW, Berry Gibb, the only surviving brother who after a long period of depression has just released a new album with numerous other contemporary artists that’s an update of their greatest hits. Something I’ll be ordering soon. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks... a fellow at work played a few of those new releases for us, and I heard about the documentary but haven't watched it yet. I cannot tell you how many youtube videos I've watched (like "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" with Ricky Skaggs) over the past five years!
Being of the same era and into hard rock in my youth, another singing and songwriting talent that I completely dismissed was Willie Nelson. He is now right up there, in my book. (Just re-listened to his great "Across The Borderline" album.)
Hi Better, Thank you for sharing your journey in love on this Valentine’s Day. My wife and I met in 1974 (I was a Winn Dixie stock boy and she was a cashier). After a lengthy two year long-distance relationship of daily letter writing while I was stationed in Germany for a three year Army stint, I returned home on leave and we we married in Dec 1976. Two weeks later we returned to Germany to begin married life together and have since been together for 44 years. Although we’ve had our occasional differences, for the most part we have had a love-filled relationship based on mutual respect and true partnership.
I say all this to make another point. Since I have stage four, metastatic Pa my time here will be cut shorter than planned, especially since my wife is four years younger than me. But one think I am certain of, although there is no guarantee which of us will live this earth first, is that I would want and hope that she will find love again after I am gone. I know this is an individual choice of the heart, but my feeling is love is truly what makes the world go around and is something that should be shared. This is not to say that someone cannot have a fulfilled and meaningful life after their mate is gone. Many have and do, as exemplified by my mother who is 90 and has been a widow for 32 years. She finds fulfillment in her five children and multiple grand and great grandchildren. But oh how we all wish she had found love again.
I hope this will be true for you some day. We all have something of ourselves to share it’s just a matter of finding right time and right person to unlock that love and sharing again. No matter your path going forward you can relish and be sustained in the memories of your love past or hopefully someday find a similar love in the future. Regardless I wish you the best in a life we’ll lived. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and to my wife, since I know she will read this post later. Con Amore to all.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I know that love you shared with your wife is the kind of love lasts forever. Happy Valentine Day to you and your wife.
A beautiful tribute to a man and a relationship which endured and prospered! You were both lucky to find each other and then "do the work" to make the love blossom and grow to envelope your entire family. The axiom "the hotter the fire, the stronger the steel" appears to fit your relationship as it did mine for 49years and 11months. I wish you better than well going forwardThank you for such a heartfelt post on a most appropriate day
A poem to end this with
Lance
The Quitter
by Robert W Service
When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says: "Fight all you can,"
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.
"You're sick of the game!" Well, now, that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
"You've had a raw deal!" I know — but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit; it's so easy to quit:
It's the keeping-your-chin-up that's hard.
It's easy to cry that you're beaten — and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight —
GM all, just came back to savor the words of this poem... I shared with my children and will share with friends. These words are very powerful, thanks for sharing.
I thought that I was a Bee- Gee in the seventies . I looked the part . Only at six four the platforms shoes were tricky . I was shy and a profuse sweater so I was a wall flower mostly . I was a teen then and we never forget the music of growing up . All is great as can be for us . We’re enjoying where we are planted . I’m landscaping and improving our hilly acre .. peace to you .😎🌵
I can’t wait for the snow to melt and to get out to dig up the dirt; the sun and soil are great for my South American soul. I can only envision the landscape,. Be well my friend.
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Are you going to let them know?
MY dad was not accepted for Lutetium (177Lu) treatment since he's not had chemo. What is SPLASH? We live in Michigan. Other options?
rest in peace, fellow member: mark easey (easeytiger)
