I finished cyberknife treatment to my prostate and bladder on December 21st. After the treatments, I would become nauseated and tired in the early afternoon, take a nap and be OK until the next treatment.
About 3 days ago, I developed a "sense of impending doom". I don't know how to explain what I am feeling, except, something is very wrong, something isn't right, something is different. I am so tired, so weak. Like nothing, I have ever felt before.
I've been told my treatments are just palliative, but I thought I would have more time than this. Maybe another 18 -24 months. But right now I think that time is coming sooner than later...
I guess this is a question that cannot be answered. Just talking
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DeanNelson
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Thanks, Nalakrats...that means a lot to hear someone say that...I am OK. I slept a lot. The weakness I think has leveled off... Just a day at a time...
One piece of advise that I think most of the guys here (at least the ones doing well mentally) will agree. Force yourself to live. See friends. Go out. And exercise hard even when you don’t feel like it. All the studies show it makes a difference mentally and physically. It was hard for me to push myself but I did and I can’t tell you’re how much better I feel for it. Every one of us can easily fall prey to that dread you speak of. Don’t let it devour you. Live every moment and enjoy. That’s all any of us have.
It could be fatigue. I had may second docetaxel infusion last week and had a number of days where I woke up and couldn't find a good reason to get out of bed other than it was time to take my prednisone. A couple days ago I just started feeling better about life, and after that the fatigue also started lifting. I also have to add to the exercise suggestions. Last night I ran/walked 3 miles at the indoor track and feel better and have a bit less pain this morning. Anything you can do to get your body fluids flowing and stimulate muscle and bone growth is an advantage!
BTW, my biopsy also indicated intraductal carcinoma. Nobody has told me how long I can expect to live, and my MO has said that if he had 100 patients with the same initial diagnosis, he'd expect 100 different outcomes.
Hi, Dean. My spouse doesn’t have ductal Ca as you do but he does have locally advanced PCa. He’s been on ADT since last March. He also had 39 sessions of radiation between May and July 2018. About halfway through radiation, he too felt as you are now. The feelings and physical setbacks were so debilitating that he had to stop working. He asked for a referral to the Cancer Center psychologist and had several sessions with him and will see him again as needed.
I’d say that he’s doing much better and is trying to make the best of each day. He got trazadone to help with sleep and that certainly helps. We had a wonderful holiday season that I wouldn’t have anticipated a year out from such a serious diagnosis.
I don’t know enough to comment on your particular case. Nalakrats is a font of good information. What I do want to say is that there is help for you and how you are feeling. My husband was literally brought to his knees in June yet he is doing well today. Ask for help. Ask your loved ones for understanding of your moods. Let your family know how they can help. Ask your doctor if there’s medications or other therapies that may help you. Paul recently started physical therapy which amazes me as he’s never been one to exercise in any way. I’d call what they are doing with him a form of exercise to keep his functional fitness. He likes it!
The men here can share their experience and hope. I know my spirit has been lifted by the stories I read here. You can decide each morning how you’re going to greet the day and all that it brings. Attitude makes a big difference in how we perceive pain and illness. While I can’t verify the attribution, I’ve heard that Abraham Lincoln said “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” That probably sounds like an impossible task right now. I get that. Please try- baby steps will do for now. I do encourage you to continue to share your feelings. You’ll be inspired by the courage of the men who contribute here. You are in my prayers and I’m sending along a virtual hug.
Hi Dean, I felt this way about 1 year ago, when I had radiation to my upper spine. I couldn't eat for a week due to collateral damage to my oesophagus, I was also warned that my spine was at risk of breaking which could lead to sudden death. Since then, I had cyberknife to my prostate and bladder wall. Only major issues I've had are incontinence and persistent UTIs. What you're describing sounds like anxiety. I found for me that was eased by reaching out on this forum, plus regular meditation. Keep on fighting. Cheers Paul.
Some of these wonderful friends on this site mentioned workout, pushing yourself. In May of last year I was told that I might have colon cancer with metastasis and I should go to MD Anderson. 11 years ago I had cyberknife for PC and I was told that I was cured. Now I have APC, I'm on ADT and Lupron, and I feel fatigued. However, I work for Publix part time as a seafood clerk. I have a master degree and I'm licensed in two states to practice Audiology. I don't want my patients to tell me that I look different and then talk about cancer. Some of you do workout in gyms. My workout consists of bringing stuff from the freezer or the cooler, to lift trays with seafood, to do the floors and to shovel ice out of the case before closing. My job is my life! I worked extensive hours around Christmas and New Year. Physically and mentally I feel great! Thank God for Publix and for all of you, my friends. And, by the way, I'm an old lazy guy who never visited a gym! I'm not dying, I'm more alive than 20 years ago. Good luck to you Dean!
Audiology? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? I give you ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐for working your butt off at Publix. And 20 more years of being alive, You're an inspiration to us all.
Thank you for posting DeanNelson. Just reading the affirming responses has helped guide me today. I am a caregiver, but I look to the feelings of men on this forum to help me be positive for my husband. Discussing feelings and seeing how to deal with difficult ones is important.
Hi Jader4,... My name is Lynn, I'm also a caregiver for my husband. This forum has been so very helpful. So many here are so well informed and its for me so nice to have people that know what we are all going through.
You are getting great and caring feedback here; site has wonderful members
I have had a struggle with such frightening emotions, ever since I understood that the RP process did not cure tmy Pca. Talking to the members here is a great step; I added, anxiety/depression meds, and therapy/meditation.
Helping with the important emotional side of our disease is not usually an area our drs are very good at. For a dr to tell anyone that an average survival statistic is a sure forecast of your individual future outcome is not a correct use of this data. As others have pointed out, this average is based on a distribution of outcomes, some quite far away from the average. The dr has no idea whether you are on the outside of this distribution or close to the average and should understand that how you feel coming out of that meeting is also medically important.
Could this be a form of a panic attack which anyone could get for no reason.Its not something you can define in anyway except it is a very potent force of bad feelings.
You can only fight it anyway you can and say it will pass which it usually does.
It is not caused by PCa or cyberknife or anything you have resulting from PCa.
Hey Dino, Do you really want a "sense of impending doom"? Take your wife and your girl friend to dinner. If that works, then you'll forget about the 18 to 24 month numbers. You'll be around for a very long time, so long that you'll get to be a pita to everyone. You know, like those guys in there 90's who keep bragging that they look like Nalakrats. B o r i n g. KEEP LAUGHING!!!
Hi Dean, I'm new here and your post moved me. I am so wishing that you can soon feel better. It seems to me that being scared is the worst thing possible and my wish for you is that you can soon find calm and peace.
When you feel that sense of dread it’s in your head, as soon as you feel it coming on do something that forces you to use your mind and body, exercise is great, I know the feeling, remember it’s in your head, so don’t let it take over, it will pass!
Back in 2007 I was told I would have 5 years and I should prepare for my demise. Well it has been 12 years now and I am still kicken' and they claim I no longer have cancer! One year led into the next and here I am. All I can suggest is that you just keep truckin'.
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