Hello my name is Sandra I am a widow who was recently tested and diagnosed with ADHD.
I always knew there was something different about me, I never thought or felt the way others around me do. I cried tears of frustration and acknowledgement when they told me I had ADHD and a high IQ. But the news didn't change anything...and that's part of what brings me here.
I was married and started a family at the young age of 17, although sometimes my parenting skills weren't the greatest, my house and children were always clean and presentable, and I was able to juggled work, sometimes two jobs, school, volunteering and attending my children's music and athletic practices with ease, most of the time.
Our family life was toxic, because my late husband was a narcissistic addict with anger issues, and I was his favorite target. I never knew if he was going to come home from work, sometimes he'd be gone for days, then weeks, and when he did return, we would all walk around on egg shells. Through all the abuse and drama I excelled, had a good job, showed up on time, perfect attendance, was able to pay all the bills on my own when he didn't. I took the kids on vacations, bought myself a car, shopped and dressed my kids and myself to the nines, and had a pretty decent social life,
When I wasn't being verbally or physically abused I spent a lot of time convincing and influencing my husband to do the same by taking college courses to get certified. My support and influence eventually paid off because my husband was able to acquire a good position at a high paying job, it was so good that he suggested I stop working and finish my college education, so I did.
During this time the kids were all grown up and I didn't need to juggle my time anymore, as a matter of fact I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. Unfortunately what should've been something good, turned into something sad. I had all the time and money to do whatever the hamsters in my head desired but instead I did nothing. I became overwhelmed with a lot of time on my hands and stuck. I would wake up at 4:30am to make breakfast and eat with my husband, then tidied up the house, shower and get dressed. just to sit in front of the TV for hours often dozing off. Other days I would scroll on social media, maybe go shopping for an arts and crafts project I thought of doing, often leaving the store with nothing, I was caught in a loop of wanting to do something but not being able to do anything for the next few years.
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in January of 2018, and passed four months later. The insurance money I was given paid for the funeral, the burial plot, my new used car, my sons bills and the down payment for the house we bought. I didn't splurge I just took care of the necessities, but of course the money didn't last and it was time for me to get back to work. Something I was excited about and looked forward to. I updated my resume and sent it out, thinking I was sure to get a high paying job at a great company because my 34 years of experience was surely going to impress all the HR managers. Wrong! No one called or emailed me with offers, so I tweaked my resume and applied again, this time to every job position that I knew I was qualified for. I didn't even care about the pay I just needed a job. But I got the same results. I eventually found small contract jobs that help keep me afloat but it is still not enough, as a matter of fact work is slow, so I am now back to applying for full time positions, but now its different, I read the job description and save the jobs that I want and am perfect for, but I never send in my resume because it needs to be updated and every time I try to update it I end up sitting at the computer for hours doing anything and everything but completing my resume. I try day after day sometimes taking a break from the computer to eat or go outside. The day eventually ends the same everyday for the past 3 years, I did everything but update my resume and apply for the perfect job, and it is causing trouble in our home because my daughter and boyfriend are having to pay for everything because I have no income.
And that is what brings me here, I want to know what happened to me, why do I get stuck and space out, why can't I do something simple like updating my resume? I want to work, love work, need to work but I am having trouble applying for the work that I am qualified and often over qualified for.
Who can help me, because I have tried and tried and it is apparent that I cannot help myself, Superwoman left the building years ago and I am afraid she may never come back. Help
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What Strattera dose worked for you and what changes did you notice?
