26 Years old undiagnosed but very certain ADHD'er

[Pancake14]

Hi everyone,

As I am new to this community I wanted to make my first post, to share my story and also to find 'fellow sufferers'.

I am a 26 years old man who grew up in a very normal, hard working family. I never really 'suffered' from ADHD in my young years, although I had a lot of struggles in school. Looking back at these struggles the dots do connect though.

The first time that I suspected something was not totally normal with me was in high school. I had to study +100 pages for an exam the day after and even though the deadline was short, I wasn't able to focus at all. Until the night came. The clock got to midnight and then my 'hyperfocus' switched on. I studied the whole book in 2-3 hours and got a stunning 18/20 on my exam.

Until 1 year and a half ago I have worked as a programmer with flexible working hours, work from home and few contact with people, few stimuli. In november 2022 I decided to change this and go work in a bank agency. I really found my passion in finance, investing, etc..

Ever since that decision, life got very hard for me. I'm having a hard time 'adulting'. When I get home, I need at least 1h to do totally nothing just to gain some energy back. At work I forget a lot of things, tend to put tasks off because they seem way too complicated and as my job is very commercially minded, I often come to work totally not ready to be in contact with people and having to convince them to buy products or start investing.

So now I'm really starting to feel the ADHD in many aspects of life. Because of this, I 'ignore' messages from people that I love, I forget a lot of things and my apartment is a mess. I'm living together with my girlfriend who doesn't seem to fully understand me in this journey, although she does listen to me. I have taken an appointment with a therapist to decide whether I should try meds, get a diagnosis or not and maybe try other 'treatments'.

What is your opinion on this last subject? My doctor told me that these meds can partially change your character, particularly decrease spontanity. But I feel like I am not functioning normally now. i can't imagine to live the rest of my life, which is hopefully still a long time, in this way.

If you think you can relate I would love to get in contact with you to learn from each other, share our stories, etc.

[Salah_09]

Hey man welcome to the community.

I am just a year older than you and its been like a bit over 6 months till I got diagnosed officially with ADHD, but I experienced a lot what you described.

If I tell you in short man, the right medication will not only enhance your personality. You will feel exactly like yourself just the version which feels well-rested, calm, focused, sharp, active etc. A lot of your interests and everything will remain. You will just have the mental space to do those things without always feeling tired, burnt out and a total mess.

I was scared initially and it took me like more than a month after my psychiatrist recommended me medication to actually take it. I was scared that I would lose my personality. Initially I took Vyvanse (30mg) and yes I would say it did make me feel a bit like a zombie even my siblings noticed. But this was a sign that maybe my dose was too much or that the medication was not the right fit.

I changed to Ritalin after and this makes me feel like myself but just the better version. The right medication will not change anything, you will still experience the same emotions have similar thoughts, essentially be the same person. Ever since I took it, I have gotten rid of my addiction for stuff like internet, binge eating, buying stuff. My work performance has improved because I have the mental energy to do tasks. I am better at conversations because I can focus and don't always feel this mental fog. I am more rational at times and despite the strong emotions which still come up, I can access the rational part of my brain. I would say that medication is life-changing if you compliment it with other things such as building good habits, accountability, developing right tools and coping strategy. Because medication will give you the ability to stick with things even if involves those habits you want.

Also man read up on the biochemistry of our brain. With ADHD, because your brain is trying to focus on a thousand things at the same time you will always have less energy regardless of all the coping strategies you try to develop. It is a neurological disorder and there is not much we can do to naturally cure it. Medications will ensure your brain functions properly so you have that energy accessible, which you would have had if you had a neurotypical brain.

This is my story and I would urge you to give medication a go. If you are a young fit, healthy man, there is no reason to not give it a go. And if you don't like the effects of a medication you can always change it - there is bound to be one that works well. Worst case, you decide to ditch it all together fair enough, but do that after you have given it a go and have the basis for comparison.

[Pancake14 in reply to Salah_09]

Thank you thank you thank you for your answer. I don't even know you and already feel inspired by you. Reading these comments really makes me wonder why my therapist told me this things about meds. Maybe because at that time I wasn't struggling thát hard and she just wanted to give her honest opinion about my situation.

When you talk about the science about our brains, any good sources you would recommend? I love to read (especially the first 50 pages, haha) and would love to get to know more about how my brain works. Really can't wait to try and find out the best solution for me. I'm already imagining being stable some days at work and being able to put in continuous work instead of all these highs and lows. I love the thought.

Amazing to read that you also have gone through this same thoughts. 😊

[MaderosMadeira]

Hello there,

I also seeking a diagnosis for similar reasons, and my best source of information is Dr. Russel Barkley's youtube channel. He is the #1 authority in the world on ADHD and has retired from teaching and research to spend his time on science communication. If you are serious about a diagnosis then its worth the time. investmentyoutube.com/@russellbarkley...

Thats how I learned that stimulant medications are among the most effective and safe medicines prescribed for treating any psychiatric disorder. Treatment can also consist of therapy, time management strategies, managing sleep disorders, ect and there are also some non-stimulant drugs. However, I think something like 80% of ADHD patients report small or substantial reductions in symptoms when on stimulant medications --> however it is a trial and error process of finding the right one and the right dosage from what I hear.

[Pancake14 in reply to MaderosMadeira]

Thanks for your response. I'm already in the process of learning a lot about it which rings more and more bells. Thanks for the source, I'll definitely walk through the channel.

Can't wait to find out my path.

[wtfadhd]

hey pancake,

adhd meds or any med cant change your “ character” or change your “ personality”.

adhd meds slow our adhd brains so that we can be less impulsive. they help change our unintentional crappy “ behaviors” that are not indicative of our true character n personality- like interrupting, ignoring, careless, impulsive, etc.

i used to have this same concern but i learned how to reframe that negative idea. character n personality are way different than behavior.

there is a big difference between being impulsive vs being spontaneous!!

for example- on meds, our brains can learn to slow down n be more Responsive to stuff vs being Reactive. no one is ever worse off for being more emotionally regulated! lol😂

[Pancake14 in reply to wtfadhd]

Thank you for writing this. It gives me the confirmation I needed. I mean; If the therapist tells me it would change my character, who was I to doubt that, right?

I am now becoming more and more convinced that I should just try different methods, including meds, to find out the best way that works for me. What still scares me though, is that I now realize that I will never 'cure' from this. I am scared to become dependent of my meds. I'm now also still in the phase of renting an apartment, not having kids, etc. but am really worried about how I would be able to ever raise children 😂

[wtfadhd in reply to Pancake14]

hey pancake, i always say if i had 3 wishes, my first wish would be to not have ADHD. but i really got stop myself from thinking that bc adhd isnt a disease to be cured. its really just a matter of having different brain wiring. learning how to harness adhd n making it work in our favor. lots of us adhd’ers love challenges- so its perfect. lol lol lol

adhd wiring is genetic( according to some- not others- who knows?). but if its true, u have a great chance of having an adhd wired kid so it just might be an amazing reward to help your own child navigate adhd n thrive with it. u will be so much adhd wiser n cooler, lol

also, i agree that i dont want to be “ dependent” on my meds. meds are only a small part of how i personally treat my adhd. and i think that is the key to managing adhd without developing a bunch of other diagnosis like anxiety, depression, n health problems. just like everything else that ails us- if pills from big pharma are the only way we address them, we r prob not gonna have great outcomes and be worse. so i hear ya about being unconvinced that meds are not the only treatment n just a part of it.

[Salah_09 in reply to Pancake14]

We are dependent on so many other things so are neurotypicals. How many people do you see who depend on coffee to wake them up including neurotypical people. How many people have to go to the gym and do regular exercise to maintain their weight. How many diabetic patients rely on their tablets? even those who have to do all the meal prepping if they want to have a healthy diet. The list goes on.

Think of medication as something essential and really it is not hard to take it nor does it require any effort. It has been a part of my routine and I plan to take it for the rest of my life as far as the forseeable future is concerned because I find little benefit in not taking it.