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Looking for a friend to chat about "extreme" ADHD and help each other out!

empleat profile image
5 Replies

Hello,

I Am looking for a Looking for friend to chat about "extreme" ADHD and help each other out! I have extreme issues, living in toxic household, no friends/family i can rely on... I Am completely alone 10 years... I Am looking for a friend to chat about E X T R E M E ADHD, share tips, vent if feeling overwhelmed and what not!!! Most helped me David Goggins Can't Hurt Me (audiobook is better), I Am pretty smart, I can give you tips too! It doesn't matter who anyone, I don't have much time anyways have to work on my health 24/7, but depends i can be also paralyzed 8 hours in pain, so i would welcome ppl which just want to share tips, help each other out, chat about ADHD and so on...

PS: it took me 7 years to beat bedtime procrastination i was procrastinating from going to be between 11pm to 3-8AM every day, while i was trying every second to go like over 500+ times, it was painful like hell! And also procrastinating on things which would take neurotypicals 30 minutes 7 years (while being in pain from failing on same tasks over 2000+ living in toxic household always being called lazy, weak, or that i should start doing something and laughed on and ridiculed)... But i am literally prove it can be improved and overcome!!! Just listen to David Goggins and you will understand! Everyone can improve a lot, not saying everyone can do the same, but we still underestimate ourselves a lot!

And i was able to work even almost whole day even inefficiently as hell, after 7 years 5 minute of work would cause me pain for hours, or trying to attempt work even hours and i couldnt even start and no one understands, even ADHD people laughed at me ridiculed me left me to rot. I found out that all ppl are hypocrites they complain like crazy, but they are same cruel to ppl unlike them... Because i am uncommon between uncommon i don't really belong anywhere. Even ppl on chronic pain sub-reddit upvoted my post +100, but then attacked me and were mean that i don't accept any solutions, while they complain whole day other ppl don't understand them. I found all High IQ, Mensa, Gifted, ADHD, it is all selective, like ofc. you can have bad apple anywhere, but that's what i am saying, ppl so identify with it, but they are no better ,they complain of being misunderstood, but they have no problem doing same to someone unlike them and mob them and worse! While most ppl are crazy, think they know you in 5 minutes and if you normally answer to them they say you are doing this or that, everything you do is wrong to them, it is absolutely crazy!!!!

Thank you for understanding i have inhumane life!

PS: I find most ppl distasteful, if you want to be just friends about ADHD chat it is fine, but don't tell me what to do, or like you know me better after 5 minutes... If you are this kind of person save ourselves both our time... People called me playing victim not knowing anything about me, while i was alone years never complained about 999 999 things to anyone and was trying whole time, it is absurd to me... They like because i said something, they said it gave them impression and if i said it is not true, they didn't listen to me and started AD Hominen again and switched to completely something else, i can't understand 99.999% ppl... Like i had to suffer great injustice and everything, i am anything but victim, but ppl are treatened by me so they want me push aside as Nietzsche said... If you want to treat me like some object to push around than go F yourself...

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empleat profile image
empleat
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5 Replies
ScapeNOPE profile image
ScapeNOPE

That was really hard to get through LOL because of my own ADHD...

I completely understand where you're coming from because I have similar experiences with people.

So many physical symptoms the doctors can't tie together or diagnose so your left untreated, in pain or the guinea pig of the medications that never really help...

And those darn coworkers anyway LOL

Not just them but family and friends, if those exist, you don't believe you and get tired of hearing or seeing you in pain offering advice like, just push through it, choose happy etc etc

I don't have any advice because I'm searching myself.

I have recently learned that autism and ADHD often go hand in hand and a lot of the symptoms that don't fall under ADHD seem to be covered by autism, like pain and extra sensitivity etc.

I'm 50 and have been living alone for the last 8 years and I and a mess.

I know I'm ADHD coach would be helpful but that doesn't exist in my area and I could not afford it I'm sure.

I am a very poor self-manager in my house is a disaster.

My oldest son just came from out of state to visit and he looked around my house and told me that I am better than this...

Well I am this.. it's a reflection of me and I don't know how to help it or change it.

I don't have family support for friends and the support that I do get from certain family members seems demeaning and very unhelpful.

I also don't need to be told what to do I know it needs to be done I just can't do it most times.

So I completely understand the guilt and shame and frustration.

I listen to a lot of podcasts now I need to put what I know to the test...

Accountability partners are hard to find especially neurodivergent accountability.

What are your biggest Hang-Ups or daily life struggles and what have you found to work for any of them so far?

empleat profile image
empleat in reply to ScapeNOPE

"Not just them but family and friends, if those exist, you don't believe you and get tired of hearing or seeing you in pain offering advice like, just push through it, choose happy etc etc"

Imagine if yet your friends turn on you like that you are playing victim or not to want get helped. Do ADHD ppl have no rights, or they can be like put in cage like pigs by society and yet they blame us like for having ADHD. that's what happened to me literally... I had to endure insane injustice my whole life, no one ever cared even a bit...

"And those darn coworkers anyway LOL"

Yeah ADHD reddit it is all complaints every post about work, they don't recognize it as special need in workplace so... I recommend sub-reddit adhd_unfiltered...

"I'm 50 and have been living alone for the last 8 years and I and a mess."

Fuck sorry to hear that your life is like this! This is compeleltely INSANE and warped, society throws ppl with ADHD to a bin a lets them suffer! And if you say inpolite word you get banned, holly but human suffering is OK. Ppl are stupid...

"I know I'm ADHD coach would be helpful but that doesn't exist in my area and I could not afford it I'm sure."

Yeah, what a joke price range like 100-250 i find on additude, or adhdmag, or how it calls WTF? Can you try virtual assistants, e.g. on reddit they charge like 7-11$ depends, many probably more! You could try also find NGOs

Heh my ADHD is so bad, i wanted someone who would kick me into face if i am not doing what i am not doing, or pipe against back no jokeee :D

"I am a very poor self-manager in my house is a disaster.".

Yeah i heard stories, i couldn't even make myself breakfasts 7 years and now i did it, it took me 30 minutes and i had to pull all my willpower, it hurts like knives in chest and it head, because no one took care of me it got insanely bad. I need caretaker, i have so many issues, RSI, brain fog, blurred vision, no one to turn to. I live yet with chronic pain complete isolation 10 years... And all my experiences with ppl were atrocious, they are so absurdly stupid , it is insane! Don't give shit i have chronic pain, they dont listen anything i say know me best in 5 minutes and if i dont listen they call me names, doesn't matter can talk completely normally and if i don' t agree with them, say like i don't agree, i didn't say that, that isn't true, even that can cause they calling names and 99% ppl are pieces of shit belonging to pig pen...

"My oldest son just came from out of state to visit and he looked around my house and told me that I am better than this..."

Damn I Am sorry!!! I can imagine how that must feel.

"Well I am this.. it's a reflection of me and I don't know how to help it or change it."

Start listening to David Goggins Can't Hurt Me audiobook! It will change your life, it will be painful and don't expect instant results. Only thing that matters that we ENDURE, you have to trust this!!!

I understand you probably tried this, i myself suffer from insomnia 7 years. Can you get good night sleep in quiet/dark room? Also a lot of physical activity. Cleaning your environment as our visual cortex has to prioritize what to allocate attention to, that's why some successful ppl like in an empty room with a desk :D Sounds like executive dysfunctions, maybe problem starting tasks, even it sounds like a lot of more, severe neurological problems etc. Also recommend healthygamergg.com

What is your biggest problem right now, I have to do software for creating to do tasks, i had to hire programmer, because all on market are idiotic!!! It is far from finished but usable!

"I don't have family support for friends and the support that I do get from certain family members seems demeaning and very unhelpful."

Can you try online communities, or real life ones? Close relationships are important for ADHD, or find people with similar interests like hobbies, or language groups even it sounds boring AF :D

Try also chatgpt.com for help!

Hope i didnt overwhelmed you, my life is pretty hectic right now, i cant even take 5 minutes to relax.

"What are your biggest Hang-Ups or daily life struggles and what have you found to work for any of them so far?".

Dealing with despair, i felt 7 years still do mostly that it won't even get better, total despair, i couldnt even clean my teeth anything 7 years i couldn't do anything literally... Sit with emotions only way to fix them is to sit with them quietly, even you can't focus past 7 seconds. I Am honestly not normal person, i had to become soldier to even had chance to survive and i live every day like it is my last, like i am dead already. I had to go through extreme suffering all alone because no one would help! IT is warped as fuck. This helped me greatly on my journey processing emotions: youtube.com/@YourHigherSelf_

SO my biggest problem is starting tasks, when i see what i will have to do and how small amount i did so far, my head is spinning. I used to be paralyzed even 8 hours from trying start tasks a day and failing in pain this whole time, try to start them x times again and couldn 't even.

AGAIN can't recommend more David Goggins Can't Hurt Me audiobook, if you don't have money on it pm me. This will help trust me, but you have to be strong and never give up. Don't worry, strength is not needed. David Goggins by his own words was weakest piece of shit and got Navy Seals from that, you need to listen to this and gulp every word and be honest to yourself! It will change your life trust me, it won't be pleasant you will need to be brutally honest to yourself and that is OK. Trust me we all can do much more than we think and even it might feel next months or 1,2,3... years hopeless. Only thing that matters that we endure. Both Nietzsche and Freud said that! I AM philosopher, i am wise man, i know what i am talking about! Never give up, you can absolutely do it, i was so desperate in 10/10 daily and i am turning this around grinding day by day!!! And i suffer from severe depression/anhedonia (never feel pleasure/motivation EVER)!!! I was literally trained by medieval methods into a soldier, no one cares that i don't feel even motivation, can't even feel pleasure when i succeed... Every time i tried reach out: ppl mobbed me and behaved like sadistic animals... I didn't have even luxury of anything... I dont belong anywhere even to my own kind they were mean to me. Only 160IQ+ or 60+ years old mensans can understand me... I Am alone in whole world and i lost my only 160IQ friend i had, so i have no one now... HAve to rely only on myself... Even i am really damaged i am not smart anymore, i have no memory, i can't focus, i don't care either way... Obviously trying to get better every day, but i accepted i am probably fucked that's why i tried to say, letting go is very powerfull: for that yourhigherself channel on youtube! It is so fucking good!

So I can help you to beat it, i am ready for almost anything at this point!!! Wait after you listen to that book, it is incredibly inspiring!!!

ScapeNOPE profile image
ScapeNOPE in reply to empleat

Sounds like you have been through and are still going through a lot...You have many good coping tools and I will definitely check out that book!!

I like philosophy as well and a bit of a neuroscience junkie

Brutally honest with myself is a daily and I may have a tendency to wallow but once in awhile there's a little bit of light..

empleat profile image
empleat in reply to ScapeNOPE

I dont tho i didnt even utilize 1% of what i know, as i never could realize anything as i was literally stuck in vortex... That is the thing, u dont actually need anything! Yeah i still wallow too, i am just at the begging honestly, after so much , it is fucked up!!! BEcause i have EDD, i was slave in my own body years, if not whole life almost doing things I didn't even want to do, and yet i was judged for that... Ppl are psychos... Bet if i was in car accident someone would say yet to me: shut the fuck up... I Am overestimating obviously but still... Actually it is possible to me this would happen, ppl don't see psychological suffering very well compared to physical. Imagine especially in past there were mentall ill ppl needed help and they were yet imprisoned, or judged... It is warped AF, these ppl are criminals against humanity literally... Most ppl are weak pieces of trash and get help for 1/10000 of my suffering and yet they attack me like i complain or so, even if i say i have extreme chronic pain... But world is absurd and 99% are stupid idiots...

Wasted71years profile image
Wasted71years

Hi Empleat

I attend a virtual support group where you will find high IQ (and 72 year old Mensa members). add.org/adda-virtual-peer-s...

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