TL;DR: I am struggling to find a treatment that works. Looking for a center or program I can leverage who might be able to apply some diagnostics (MRI/EKG/blood biomarkers etc) to find a treatment that is effective for my ADD-I.
Also sorry for the wall of text. I am just so frustrated right now.
I have struggled with anxiety my entire life but wasn't effectively treated until my early 30's, the country I lived in before then just didn't take mental health treatment seriously and ended up trying several TCA's for a few years without being offered SSRI's or CBT to help with my symptoms. Not here about anxiety though, its amazingly controlled thanks to Trintellix (no side effects and it basically turned off my GAD, I have emotions like a "normal" person now!).
I never considered that I might have ADD, I always put my problems with finishing projects and behavioral quirks down to personal failings not an actual problem with my brain. I always thought everyone had an internal monologue that enormously distracted them all the time.
18 months ago I moved so started seeing a new psychiatrist for my anxiety treatment, I don't do PCPs anymore after a year of absolute hell where they just didn't seem to understand how to treat me. As part of her intake interview she did an ADD assessment and I basically hit every single question for inattentive. Told my wife, who is a teacher, when I got home and she said "duh". Internally I was thinking "why couldn't you tell me this 15 years ago, our lives would be profoundly different".
I have a good career and the coping skills I have developed largely allow me to function at work and at home. Since I found out it wasn't just a personal failing I can't stop thinking about how different my life might be if I was effectively treated. I know I will regret it if I don't explore all options for treatment but I am struggling to find resources.
I like my psychiatrist but she has run out of ideas.
First drug my psychiatrist tried was Adderall IR. I found more than 5mg * 3 to be way too speedy (and usually no more than 5mg *2) and even when it wasn't too speedy it was frantic energy, I wasn't able to think but I could act; if I had a task list written before I took it then I could blast through what I needed to get done. I seem to be extremely sensitive to CNS stimulants.
The most productive periods of my life were in the hours after it wore off. My mind was quiet, I was able to get lots of things done even though I had some fatigue from the Adderall. I tried explaining this to my psychiatrist as it seems diagnostically useful (almost like its one of the metabolites helping me not the drug itself) but she just brushed it off.
I had to discontinue though because it had a profound impact on my blood pressure. I have had high blood pressure since I was a teenager (at the time not related to diet or exercise, strongly suspect just genetic lottery) and its somewhat treatment resistant (lisinopril & HCTZ barely keep me below stage 1). Adderall pushed me up by 40/20 to just short of hypertensive crisis.
Next I tried Strattera. It made me sweat a great deal but didn't do anything for my focus. Previously I had taken Wellbutrin before my diagnosis and it just made me angry but no additional focus. I have also taken SNRI's in the past for my anxiety which didn't help with my anxiety or focus which has me thinking my problem is either dopaminergic or downstream from that system.
Took a break from treatment after that. A month ago I tried Vyvanse. At 30mg I had stupid amounts of euphoria, couldn't stop talking and while I was on it I could focus but I was crazy easily distracted. Instead of my work I was writing diatribes about nutrition & the med diet. It made my memory go to hell, first time I took it I spent a good 10 minutes trying to remember how to spell "tier", so even if I had a task list I would just forget it existed and do something useless. Blocking reddit entirely didn't help, I just sat there not sure what to do. BP impact wasn't as bad as Adderall (would need a med adjustment to keep taking it but it was a manageable rise). Loss of appetite was profound and extended in to my days off, at the worst I was struggling to eat 1000 calories a day. I tried it at 15mg and it was a little better (still problems with memory but could eat). Like Adderall the best periods are when it wears off, I spent 2 hours reorganizing my kitchen last week which is something I have been intending to do for nearly a year now.
Psychiatrist just prescribed Qelbree which ill be starting this weekend. I am not confident of it working as its mechanism of action is norepinephrinergic plus its got significant BP side effects.
What I really want is a treatment center where I can go and have them throw the diagnostic kitchen sink at me. I know there have been lots of interesting developments in biomarkers in the last few years to help with personalized treatment. I live in Florida but I am happy to travel somewhere for a few days for them to prod me and poke me. Totally ok with telehealth too.
I don't care what diagnosis I have, I would just really like a treatment that works.