Hi everyone!

[Linbeth]

I am new to CHADD and new to support chat groups. I hope I can support others as well as get support my self. I started using the website and the Adult education about 2 months ago. I picked up a couple books on the list and also listened to Caroline Maguire's TED talk. I bought her book, "Why Will No One Play with Me?" One one level, I bought it for my son who is struggling with ADHD too and is also struggling to connect with his 7-year-old son. Honestly it is bringing up a lot for me. I feel very hurt for my own problems with not fitting in as a kid. I'm struggling with the memories of times when I had problems with school friends that continued on to work situations. As I became more accomplished, I glossed it over. I do really feel hurt and sad. It's good to feel this and grieve it. I think I need more help though. Now my worst nightmare is that no one will respond to my post. Here goes. This is my trust walk.

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Linbeth~

Welcome to the group, and thanks for your question(s)!

Sounds like you're looking for answers for not only yourself, but your son and grandchild. Lots of stuff happening at the moment.

Looking back at our own childhood can certainly bring up pain, and hope that neither our child or grandchild experiences our pain at that time.

Let's start with you first- Were you recently diagnosed, self diagnosed and if so when? Are you currently seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, or ADHD coach?

Your son- Is he getting help and taking medication? When was he diagnosed?

Next, your grandchild- Have they been diagnosed and treated with medication?

For all three; what about CBT- Cognitive Behavior Theory?

Recommend you check out this source:

Http:///Additude.com

type in your questions, go to that help bar on upper right hand side.

Hope this helps.

Best regards`

GatsbyTheCat🐈

[Linbeth in reply to GatsbyCat]

Hi GatsbyCat,

Thank you for all your reassurance, support and advice. You may find this strange but I am actually a therapist who uses CBT. I focus on treating patients with cancer. I think I have glossed over my own problems (denial?) and compartmentalized my life, focused on my work for self-esteem. I am in therapy with someone who understands ADHD but see him monthly for depression also. I take medication for both. I was diagnosed with ADD around age 45. I started meds then but no therapy for ADD. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and LD just before going off to college (about the same time as I was). He has always been smart enough to hide his problems. When I asked teachers for help, they couldn't see the problem. Unfortunately we didn't really see the problem clearly enough until I learned more about it much later from a colleague. He is taking meds and has had coaching from time to time. We have both used some books that I have found and tried to support each other. I have tried to support him with encouraging texts and check ins.

It's only recently that I have realized how much ADHD has impacted my life as I wanted to help my son with his frustrations with himself at work, then later as a parent. I always minimized it. I also minimized my relationship problems. I had a difficult family life so I thought my issues related to that.

I hope to learn from others in this forum and the CHADD website. I image I will need a CBT therapist--I know CBT really works! I don't know why it has taken me so long to get picture. It has been painful to see myself and my history as it is--hopefully not too negatively!!!

Thank you for you thoughtful response, I am looking forward to any other thoughts you have. I was very low yesterday. I do feel better today.

I just realized I am totally oversharing!!! I will try not to do that in the future. That is another ADD thing,

Best,

Linbeth

[GatsbyCat in reply to Linbeth]

Hello again~ In this group we do mostly overshare, so totally fine..lol BTW, I was also thinking about some more resources that could help.

For yourself and son here's a couple of books that are very helpful:

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley and Christina Benton (2nd edition) and the 2nd book is ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell and Ratey

YouTube: some excellent resources include Mindful Movement Meditation (I try to meditate at least 1x per day- morning is best) and Therapy in a Nutshell Channel with Emma McAdams (she has a very good series and can really help you out.)

I should have also mentioned that if you are looking for an ADHD coach or therapist go here: Http://additude/mag and type in what you need in upper right hand search bar. You should also ask your general practicioner for a referral, so that way you know they accept your healthcare insurance.

For your grandchild, there are other helpful resources at Http://moretoadhd.com and note that they are entitled to additional help at school, etc by law. This website is very helpful. Also the book "A beginners guide on parenting children with ADHD is helpful by Richard Bass.

And, since you're a therapist, you are obviously familiar with CBT therapy. This has helped me to learn the consequences of behaviors and to role play/practise different responses to get better "neurotypical" results.

Sorry for all of the lengthy stuff. I really hope this helps you out!! Best wishes on this journey called life.

Best regards~

GatsbyTheCat🐈

[Linbeth in reply to GatsbyCat]

Thank you Gatsby Cat! You have really broken the ice for me. I am going to check out the books and resources in the ADDitude magazine. I bought a few that were suggested on the A2Adult tool box which were very technical. I think these two will be a better fit for me right now. I know meditation is good but I have a hard time sitting down to do it. Maybe knowing you are doing it will give me a visual prompt to help me accountable or supported. I'm definitely going to give it a go. I will check out finding a coach. My grandson isn't diagnosed. I wonder if it is him or my son. Probably both. I bought "Why will no one play with me" I hoped it would be good for both of them. Have you heard anything about it? I thought I ought to read it too before passing it along.

thanks again for your wisdom and support. You must have been doing this for awhile. You are really good at it.

All the best,

Linbeth

[Myadhd]

Hi Linbeth. Welcome to the Chadd support community. We are here to support each other, share our challenges and successes, and receive the encouragement and hope we need to heal and become who we have the potential to be. Fell free to reach out anytime.

[Linbeth in reply to Myadhd]

Hi Myadhd,

Thanks for responding. I feel better knowing that others have similar experiences and can bring them to this support community. I am exploring the ADDitude magazine too which seems to have a ton of resources. I am reassured that so many people have received help and support in this community! I wanted to help my son who was diagnosed before starting college but only received medication and not therapy. He has had some coaching but like me struggles with organization, focus, and now self awareness with his parenting style. I have tried to help him but now I am more aware of my own issues that ever before. Now that I have retired I figured it is time for me to understand myself and get some help for myself. Thank you so much for listening.

Best,

Linbeth.

[Myadhd in reply to Linbeth]

How's it going Linbeth?

[LifeAfterDiagnosis]

Hi Linbeth,

I appreciate your courage to be vulnerable with us! If you're dealing with any PTSD, I would highly recommend EMDR therapy.

Good luck!