Organizing, Writing, and Meeting Deadlines and Expectations

[rmsmi28]

First off, I would like to thank all of the people here who have taken the time to respond to questions that I have posted in the past. Your kindness and knowledge, not to mention patience is greatly appreciated and has been a tremendous help to me while still trying to adjust and learn about my recent diagnosis of ADHD. Although I have not had the opportunity to respond to everyone please rest assured that they are most appreciated. It has been a long strange trip getting to this point and the journey is not over by a long shot.

My question is this:

I am PhD Candidate (ABD) in the process of writing and researching my dissertation in history. Throughout my graduate career, writing papers was often a nightmare and this has continued on with the entire dissertation process.

Having ADHD shed a lot of light as to why this is a nightmare for me, but there are still several comorbidities connected with this diagnosis that I struggle with and I was wondering if anyone here had any strategies for dealing with them.

They are as follows:

1. Organization

2. Motivation

3. Imposter Syndrome

4. Perfectionism

5. Reading

6. Determining When Enough is Enough

7. Thinking that you are not doing enough regarding professional development

Any help that you can suggest is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and I look forward to your responses.

[Gettingittogether]

Those are real challenges that you identify. I know a number of people with ADHD who got their Phd's and every one of them had a meltdown, really multiple meltdowns, on the way to finishing their dissertations. But I wasn't aware of ADHD when these friends were struggling. Looking back I can see that some of these folks had ADHD--including a relative of mine!

Are you in therapy? The challenge of completing a dissertation unfortunately doesn't have a superficial fix. You got to go deep to work on that perfectionism and anxiety and so on. You really want to find a therapist who gets the challenges you face. BTW: dissertations cause meltdowns in non ADHD folks as well.

A few random tips:

See if your university has a writing center that you can go to ... some have graduate writing centers. You can set small goals and go frequently, usually for free! And meet one-on-one with a tutor.

Go visit the university's office of disability services/disability resources. These are the folks who approve accommodations and even if you don't have an accommodation, you should talk to these folks about what resources are available to help graduate students on their dissertations.

This is a bit counterintuitive ... but even generic dissertation support will be helpful for you. Because so many of the issues are about procrastination and paralysis and setting small goals and making steady progress and so on. So even outside of disability services, ask around to find if there is some support for graduate students writing their dissertations. Also ask about because there might be a student support group.

Have you selected an advisor. That's huge. You need someone who is NOT ADHD, actually somebody is pretty well organized, though not mean with rigidity. This kind of adviser can set really small goals and a regular schedule that calls for you to regularly submit work to them.

You want to pick as narrow and easy a topic as possible. One of the problems people face is picking really ambitious dissertation projects. Nope, you want to scale down narrow. Otherwise, you'll get lost in all the possible subtopics and tangents.

So really your job is to find and discuss with people (professors and grad students) the shortest, easiest, most narrow topic and shortest page length that you can get approved for. Do NOT trust your own thinking here. People with ADHD, partly because we have such guilt at organizing things, often think we have do more than we really have to do! You will have to talk to various people to get a feel for what's acceptable. If you don't do this (again, go to therapy if you've social reluctance here), you will inevitable pick a topic that is way too broad, way broader than required. A good advisor can really help here.

I'll give you an example: after I got diagnosed I got smarter about making my work easier. I teach college. So I was going to teach a special course that draws people from a wide range of disciplines. This was an extra course--on top of my normal load.

I got very clear that I did not want to read 20-page research papers from students. Nope, no interest in that. So I went to my colleague I was co-teaching with and I proposed that we have students write a two-page paper about every week. But I was so uncertain (worried about being criticized) that I scheduled a meeting with the Dean overseeing this course to propose my wild idea.

I barely finished saying "two pages a week" of writing when the dean interrupted me.

"No!" he shouted. I prepared for him to shame me--to insist on a 20-page research paper. You know what he said?

"No! ... One page a week!" What? I was blown away. I thought I was pushing the workload down to absolute minimum. The dean literally ordered me to reduce it by half!--only a one-page paper a week. BTW: this was a huge discussion class.

My point here is that my ADHD really had messed up my ability to understand workload. On the one hand, I underestimated how much work would be required. On the other hand--like for this course--I would overestimate the amount of work I had to do--wildly so! That's why you got to talk to people!

There are online "dissertation" coaches ... and people are getting good at coaching struggling dissertation writers. A friend of mine is in an online writing group that is full of grad students. It cost about $100 or so a month.

Those are my initial thoughts.

[AlphaGeekBoy in reply to Gettingittogether]

Thank you for this "My point here is that my ADHD really had messed up my ability to understand workload. On the one hand, I underestimated how much work would be required. On the other hand--like for this course--I would overestimate the amount of work I had to do--wildly so! That's why you got to talk to people!" that really stands out to me as something I have known but have not been able to put into words.

[rmsmi28 in reply to Gettingittogether]

Thanks for the advice and suggestions. I really appreciate them. Yeah, I do have an advisor but he is pretty loose with the deadlines. For instance, when I asked him when he wanted the first chapter by, he said whenever I get it finished. Because it is a small program he is the only one that is even remotely specializes in my area of focus.

[Hidden]

Some great advice from Gettingittogether.

[Hidden]

Great advice from Gettingittogether. I’m not a PhD, but did go back to school as an adult about 10 years ago and got an MBA, undiagnosed, and I have no idea how I did so well, other than business is my career.

Everything that you list are some of the common ADHD symptoms we all deal with. Here are some tips that work for me.

I’ll start with motivation, if your brain wants to do something else, like stay in bed vs. going to class, no class. I take my meds right when I wake up so I gain the motivation to start my day.

Organization. When I get to work, I make a written list of the top priorities that I want to accomplish that day and I try to list in order or priority. Be reasonable and start with maybe 3 items at first and at the end of the day when you got through your list it’s a great boost to morale and you finished 3 things.

Not sure what imposter syndrome is, does that mean you try and do things the way a successful friend does and fail? If so, don’t, it will only cause disappointment if you fail.

Perfectionism. This is a hard one for me. I’ve always been taught to use the 80/20 rule. Things don’t need to be perfect, especially when your list starts growing. Focus on 80%. If you have time, review the next day for minor errors and accept as done.

Reading retention is difficult, especially at the academic level. I have to read and use scientific journal articles to support the science behind my products. I will often read a page 2-3 times to comprehend and commit to some memory. There are apps available that will read to you so you’re listening. That may help.

Determining when enough is enough and thinking you’re not doing enough for personal development depends. Most of us perceive we need more in these areas because we tend to compare ourselves to the overachievers. Be kind to yourself. We’re not all the same. Unless you’re being told you need to do more, I wouldn’t worry about it and just focus on your PhD work.

Last, if you’re not on meds, I’d highly recommend looking into that. They will help make some of these things easier. A therapist or ADHD coach help too.

Last, ADHD is much more prevalent in the adult population than many realize. I mentioned having it the other day with one of our PhDs and he also has it and said he’s taken Adderall for over 10 years and couldn’t function without it. Having friends that you can talk to wether here or live is so validating.

All the best.

[BlueOptimistic in reply to Hidden]

Good reading and ideas from both of you. This would help people starting college. Or in college!!😉

[rmsmi28 in reply to BlueOptimistic]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I really appreciate them.

[rmsmi28 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the response and the helpful advice. I greatly appreciate it.

Just clarify, imposter syndrome is when you think you are not good enough at something and that eventually your inability will be discovered. For example, one of the things that I have struggled with throughout graduate school is thinking that my work is not good enough and that I don't even belong in graduate school. (To be fair, I have been in grad school 2003, when I was 24, I am now 44 and just starting work on my dissertation. There are several reasons for this and I will not bore you with those.) The thought process quickly devolves into the people who accepted you into this program are eventually going to find out and they are going to throw you out and replace you with someone who is very capable. This has plagued me throughout graduate school. Throw in some professors who appear indifferent, or downright hostile to you, a family that for the longest time was emotionally and verbally abusive (and still is), as well as depression and anxiety, and this makes for a highly volatile mix.

What you are saying about just write and not worry about what is missing is true and I wish it was simply that easy. I agonize over writing a paragraph. (I have changed the opening paragraph of the first page of first chapter numerous times. It seems like that is all that I have done all summer is write and rewrite that damn paragraph.

The thing about simply making a list, at least for me, is that I hate doing it. I hate making lists as I find them very dull and boring and I do not feel any sense of accomplishment by crossing things off of it. I know that sounds terrible, but that is the honest truth, at least for me.

I am on medication. I just started Adderal XR 30 mgs about 6 months ago and the ADHD diagnosis is still new territory for me, I have been on antidepressants since 2015, first Fluoxetine and then Effexor. While I think the Effexor needs to be slightly increased I am absolutely certain that the Adderall dosage is much too low. My height and weight (6'5" 305lbs.) combined with the fact that I really feel no difference with regards to the Adderall and my symptoms are still difficult to manage. However, when I have Brough this up to my doctor, she told me that I could not increase the dosage because it will increase the chances of developing the more severe side effects usage produces. She is one of the few doctors accepted nay my insurance and the copay is within my budget, which is why I still go to her. It sucks but is better than nothing I guess.

(I will respond more later. My laptop is about to die and I am nowhere near a plug.)