So I have been having confidence issues as of late in regards of just transferring to a 4 year university as a junior and going towards a career path into doing research in Entomology or Herpetology. I recently had to drop a class because I had a professor that did not care about her students and in the past had many complaints from students due to her uncaring and rude interactions with them in office hours and in lecture. I talked to my academic advisor about it and he knew already knew why I wanted to drop because many other students that had her wanted to drop as well. He agreed with me and he said yeah that I should drop because it's not worth being in this class if you are thinking that your failing and that the professor has a history of poor teaching. So I was able to drop and while my boyfriend's mom was driving me home I told her my situation. I already told her this before and that I was going to hold out until to see whether i'm doing good or not. This quarter they extended the drop without a W a couple of days ago due to the rise of cases of covid before winter started and I was able to submit a form to drop on time. Anyways back to me telling her that I dropped. She means well but she asked how I am doing on my other classes and I said I was doing ok and it seemed that I put too much on my plate this quarter because I did not do well on my first two midterms as well as the first midterm in that class that I dropped. I was taking really hard classes that included bio genetics, organic chemistry and the second part of the series of physics class physics 2B. I can't remember the details but at some point she said that maybe that i'm not interested in those classes and that's why i'm failing and should seek the classes i'm interested and maybe seek a new career that i'm interested in. I mean that is good advice don't get me wrong but I already done that once already in community college by changing my major from math and science to biology because I was more interested in a range of subjects like animals, plants, and how do cells function. Idk I guess I felt crushed by hearing that because I felt that if I change my major and career path again then all my time in community college feels like a waste. First time I entered community college I wanted to be a nurse but then I knew I felt it wasn't for me because when I interned at a hospital lets just say I did not have a good experience there and I felt that doing that kind of job feels boring to me just sitting in the back and just calling names and taking vitals. Also dealing with rude patients that treat you like your a servant also gave me the impression that this was not for me because I can't handle the stress and there was this one time I cried and a nice older lady that worked their had to calm me down because I was almost going into a meltdown. I was embbaraced afterwards because why would they hire someone like me that can't handle rude patients? So I moved on to maybe getting to be a veteranarian but then changed my mind again because again what if I deal with rude people and the fact it's very competitive to become a vet and you have to get really good grades in order to get into a vet school. So I decided to maybe become a researcher in either bugs or reptiles because I think learning about these animals would be a satisfying job for me. I like working with other people and I like working in a lab and observing and collecting data so I thought that would be a perfect fit. I try to not let what she said bother me but its kind of eating away at me lately. I'm now second guessing my choices and I'm starting to feel that maybe I don't belong in those classes or belong in a job that does reasearch. I just... don't know what to do. I'm frustrated and feel like i'm going no where and no matter how hard I work I always fail at the end and I end up wasting time and thinking that this is a waste of time. Should I go with her advice? I did really well in art classes and got an associates degree in art so maybe I can go into graphics design if things don't work out? Also at the same time I don't feel like opening up to talking to her anymore because she also said that I just need to focus if I do want to go into researching. That made me even more frustrated because I spend almost all of my time focusing on school even to the point that I forget to eat. I feel like its like saying to someone with OCD (my boyfriend has OCD) and telling them just don't wash your hands and stop worrying that your going to die or not.
Anyways TLDR; I'm frustrated because i'm trying to explain to my boyfriends mom what I'm going through with having ADHD and she just gives me an automatic response that I just need to work harder or change career paths so I guess nevermind on being vulnerable to her and talking my feelings out. And now i'm starting to believe that i'm not good enough for getting into this career path of researching. Idk should I keep going or just throw in the towel and just go for the type of classes i'm good at like art or writing and get a career path that revolves around those two? I'm on my second quarter at the college that I go to so I don't think it's too late to change majors again especially on a clean slate that I have now being a transfer. I feel alone with my thoughts and it would be nice to talk to someone who might be in a similar situation as I am.
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