I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD, despite having it since at least my early teens, so I'm not on normal stimulant ADHD medication yet. In the past, I'd get stuff done by putting immense pressure on myself via shame and anxiety. At this point though, I'm severely burnt out and looking for a healthier coping mechanism. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you 🌸
Edit: I realize now that my initial question is a little misleading. I'd like to be on a stimulant, I was just looking for tips until I can get the right meds.
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Bluedogmom
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Why haven't you tried stimulants? And therapy? Yes, I too got burnt out of procrastinating and placing myself into some stress-survival state (as if a bear were about to eat me) to meet a deadline. Just couldn't do that at a certain point.
To develop new behavior is likely to require therapy. You can't flip a switch. You need to set goals and slowly practice building the new behavior. But you got to clear out any negative and disruptive thinking that gets in the way.
And these steps are made easier if you can find a stimulant that works. The stimulant can, if you get fortunate and find the right one, help you focus, help you remember to start something before the deadline ... help you take action and prioritize and so on.
My former psychiatrist, who admit to not knowing much about ADHD, didn't think I had it and I was on several head meds, including Wellbutrin, so my new psychiatrist wanted to see if the Wellbutrin would be enough to help me while we ween me off the other unnecessary meds. It's not and I'm seeing her next week but I need to get stuff done in the meantime and I'm struggling.
I've been in therapy for 8 years now but up until a couple months ago, it's almost entirely been focused on overcoming my depression and PTSD.
I know you can't just flip a switch but CBT, the Pomodoro technique, screen time limits, and setting SMART goals haven't worked for me thus far so I'm curious what other strategies people use.
OK, so you're making progress! Good for you. You are getting good help. You can ask your therapist to devote some time to not waiting til the last minute on work.
The hardest part of course is starting ... but it's funny ... even when I would start a task early, I couldn't quite get the adrenaline going. That takes time.
Part of your motivation is the desire to avoid the pain and agony of that on-deadline work. It takes time to train your mind to remember the benefit of starting ahead of time ... and then you have to experiment with getting specific about starting, like how far ahead of time? ... Lots of trial and error and reminders.
You got a planner system at all? You can start there ... and start marking in the planner when you need to start tasks ... you won't automatically start them then ... so you start experimenting with figuring out what helps you to get started. Lots of folks do the five minute trick: I'm only going to work on this for five minutes.
Set a timer and at five minutes, you take a breath. And you acknowledge that you've started. Maybe set the timer again and do another five minutes. What's going on here is that after you've done a few minutes of real work your brain actually realizes, "hey that didn't kill me."
I see, those are all good points. I need to get better about managing my expectations and not beat myself up so much during the trial and error process. I think that, other than not being on the right meds at the moment, that's really holding me back.
I don't have a planner system anymore. My job takes up most of my day & is pretty hectic so I haven't found a good planner system yet other than just keeping a running to do list.
Hi there. I wonder if instead of a “planner system”, you might try (if you haven’t already) some kind of journal/Planner combo? I started using a Bullet Journal (BUJO) last year, for to-do lists, “brain dumps” when overwhelmed, habit tracking as I identified what I wanted to change and/or feel good about. Mu Bujo is pretty basic (no fancy drawings or stickers, just a few coloured markers and black pen). I’ve learned that lists are great but not if so long I can’t do it all! And I cannot create/change a bunch of habits all at same time. And “tracking”’things can be helpful but also can be a distraction itself (think procrastivity). So my journal set up gets modified according to what’s working/helpful and what’s not. I started with the basics (from Ryder Carol), and modified from there. For instance I learned I needed to add weekly page to help get me through the week, by planning when I could do what. I recently gifted a Hero’s journal to someone. Looks cool. I like it asks to identify daily allies and threats….though this journal is definitely a lot pricier than a simple dot-printed blank journal…. But thinking I can add reflection questions to help identify what helps me, and what blockers negatively impact my productivity. ——and the recommended 5-minute trick is great idea. I need to practice this myself ! Knowing it is one thing. Doing it is what most important (for me at least).
But obviously you'd want/need to discuss it with your prescriber. Best wishes 🥰
I have been so burned out that I resigned from my job almost six months ago and haven't been able to get back to work yet. Great question. I struggle every single day with this problem and I don't have any great. I was prescribed and tried a bunch of stimulant medications that didn't work and gave up for the last couple months but am thinking of trying stimulants again, or at least asking my pyshchiatrist if she thinks it make sense at my next appointment. Two things that I have failed to do recently that I plan to restart because I know that they help with AdHD symptoms and improving productivity are exercise and nutrition. Consistent daily exercise really helps with productivity although it is not the magic bullet that stimulant medications are for some people. Also, for me one of the main issues has first been trying to figure out how it address what caused my burnout. Even though I am a man, I found Emily Nagoski's book burnout in the library and have found it quite wonderful and highly recommended it especially if you can find it for free in a library like I did. I still struggle every day with trying to read books but I still love books and so wander though the library sometimes....
Wow, I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope things get better for you soon. Yeah I'm slowly trying to improve my diet and exercise too. Lol I actually bought that book but I haven't finished it yet... Hopefully I can pick it up again and focus on finishing it this time. Best wishes 🌸
Thanks, Bluedogmom. Yes, things are starting to slowly improve and thanks in part to your motivation I am going out for a jog/walk now! I've largely given up on finishing books - a silly goal if there ever was one, that I have nonetheless pursued most of my life. I've found that I only can remember what I find interesting, and so rather than trying to actually read entire books, I now like to find a couple of passages, using the table of contents and often the index, and read and re-read only those passage , making it more likely that I will remember them, and avoiding the self-flagellation from me trying and failing to read all the way through a book, which is actually quite silly, because not only will I probably fail, even if I "win," I probably won't remember anything anyways.
Welcome Yayy, I’m so glad to hear that, good luck! That’s such a good point! Maybe I’ll try to adopt that approach/mindset when it comes to reading. I started listening to audiobooks but when it comes to something important instead of just fiction, I can’t be doing anything else or else I’ll miss big chunks of what’s being said and get frustrated.
I'm a guy and I too found Emily Nagoski's insights about the stress cycle and burnout to be extremely helpful. I haven't read the book but heard her on several podcasts.
"CBT, the Pomodoro technique, screen time limits, and setting SMART goals haven't worked for me thus far"- I can tell you that these tools definitely work. I wasn't able to use any of these methods for over a decade and I was always reading a new time/ project management book to try and get my act together. It was awful. After 2 weeks on a stimulant, I am a big believer in Pomodoro and use it everyday to great effect. There is nothing wrong with you! Your brain is just wired in a way that modern life doesn't value anymore. We'd be highly sought after in the hunter gatherer era. If you want to have access to these techniques to thrive in a modern life with modern values and expectations, your brain needs more access to the chemicals everyone else has plenty of. You can't bully your way through this, and it's not fair to yourself to put expectations on yourself that your brain isn't chemically built to handle. There is no shame in using stimulants! You don't have to use them all the time either, use them on days that are high stakes and take a break on the weekends or on easier days. There are lots of ways to do it. I believe in you, you can do it!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience/comment/words of encouragement, it really means a lot ❤️ I’m not ashamed to take stimulants, I just need a prescription 🙃 Best wishes ☮️
I inserted a comment back in earlier posts as I wasn't patient enough to read thru the comments! Typical of me. Then I realized you might not see it. So I suggest you find a psychiatrist that does genetic testing. It's an easy cheek swab that gives a list of medications and at what doses are likely to be most effective for you.
Honestly? The biggest thing I've noticed work for myself has just been consistent sleep. A lack of energy is usually why I procrastinate and put off work (because I'm so drained and often overestimate how much effort something will take), so getting consistent sleep (and also stimulant medication) helps me feel so much less stressed and better rested. If you're not on a good sleep schedule, I'd highly recommend making that a priority if you can. Having more energy will make tasks so much more approachable.
Now, of course, getting on a consistent sleep schedule is difficult. I'm *still* working on it. If it's something you struggle with, I'd start by thinkin about what factors make it hard for you to get to bed at your desired time. For me it's often hyperfocusing on a task, or using electronics in bed or too close to bedtime. I'm going to try turning off my screens at 11pm if I can, and try to find an activity for bedtime that isn't as engaging and won't make me hyper focus. Or even just allowing myself to be bored around bedtime, because I'd rather sleep than be bored, lol.
I'd also consider thinking about ways you could help yourself get in the mindset for sleep. Maybe creating a ritual/routine for bedtime, maybe brushing your teeth at a certain time of night, or listening to calming music, meditation, stretching, journaling, planning your next day, prepping a meal for your next day, etc. Something consistent that you enjoy or find easy to do that signals to your brain that bedtime is near.
You can use this exact line of thinking for developing other habits or accomplishing other goals. Identify what you want to do, identify what barriers are in the way of doing it and try to eliminate those barriers if possible, and also brainstorm ways to make it easier to do what you want. Make a new habit accessible, obvious, and as easy as possible to start.
Also, if you have a to-do list task that you need to get done, break it down into the smallest parts that you can, and reward yourself for doing the small steps (even if the reward is just some positive affirmation). I was getting stuck on scheduling something, but it's because I realized I needed to make a phone call before I could schedule the thing, so I made it a goal to make that phone call so that I could actually schedule my other task.
Pro-tip: when developing a new habit, start with a "2-minute" habit that can eventually lead to the habit you want. A book I read called "Atomic Habits" gives a great example: If your goal is to run a mile every day, then you would start working towards that goal by simply putting on your running shoes every day. That's it! After that behavior has become consistent, you'd start stepping out the front door after putting on your running shoes (but you don't actually have to go on the run).
Consistency is the key, so starting with something really small and easy that can be completed in 2 minutes is really helpful for building that consistent action, and from there you can slowly add to the habit. The 2-minute habit becomes the trigger for the actual habit you are developing.
Also, don't try to develop too many habits at once. Just focus on one thing at a time
(There's also a cool app called "Habitica" that I find pretty helpful, and it's free! Give it a look, maybe it could help you, too)
I hope some of this can be helpful for you! Good luck, and I hope you can get medication soon if that's what you're wanting!
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