Advise seriously needed! - work related.

[QuarenQueen]

I started my job almost a year ago. my probationary period had been extended up until today. However, from day 1 I have been faced with challenges after challenges. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia when I was at school, and I have learnt many coping strategies. However, these were ripped apart, along with my confidence. I had supervision at least once a week, where i was constantly criticised. there were 2 occasions 2 different supervisors even questioned if this was the career for me and suggested I change it.

I decided to see a private psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with ADHD. it was also around this point that my line manager went on a sabbatical, and one of the other supervisors stepped in.

I think as he was in a new team leader role, he probably wanted to tick all the boxes, meaning I wasn't able to express the barriers he was actively putting in place, that were stopping me from succeeding.

I constantly felt criticised, almost like I was in trouble at school, excluded from the team and just not supported in any way. This lead to a big breakdown in the work relationship, just being in the office / work environment was so uncomfortable for me, it felt so hostile, intimidating and embarassing,.

When I get stressed I experience severe migraines. a very vicious cycle formed where the stress actively being put on me, exacerbated by my ADHD and dyslexia, was physically making me unwell - and then as I was unwell I was getting in more trouble and stress at work, going round and round.

Also - I think it’s important to say It was not until the week of my final probation meeting that I finally received the reccomendations from access to work - reasonable adjustments. (So 9 months in post ans the exact time of my final probation hearing)

Having a hearing is honestly the most stressful thing, I had no understanding of policies or like the processes for things like this for even the equality act. I felt horrible - I felt I was being discriminated against. I couldn’t work out how the challenges I was facing was acceptable within the equality act.

But anyway the hearing panel decided to extend my probation by a additional 8 weeks, and set of expectations / reqiuiments for me to meet in that time. The main one being amount of sick days I take.

So here we are…. the panel decided to dismiss me due to my capability. However, I had demonstrated a clear improvement in my work and the requirements they set. BUTTT, during this 8 week peiopd I had experienced a migraine 2 more times then I was allowed. ( also I know it’s not relevant but in the past 8 weeks my mum abs uncle have been diagnosed with cancer and I’ve had 2 car crashes lol)

I was working myself in to the ground, trying not to get a migraine, be there for my family and clearly demonstrate my ability at work (working my self to the ground, to overcome obstacles that seemed to be hiding my ability from my managers).

My unison representative did attend this meeting, but he did not support me or represent me in any sort of way. The only time he spoke it was as if he was arguing against me - speaking to my line manager after the meeting he noted he saw the same. I asked for support prior to this hearing, but received a very dismissive email back basically saying there was nothing I can do. At the end his only comments were, think about what you want to do, ok to work in Tesco in the mean time, as I was on probation I dont have any rights.

I’m just so confused and really starting to doubt everything because it seems like everyone doesn’t agree.

What do I do now?!?!

Appeal?

Acas ?? - tribunal

Or am I mad - have I been treated fair?

Sorry for the absolute shambles of a post.

(P.S. I am an assistant psychologist in the NHS)

[AnonMah]

You are going through a lot! I’m not a psychologist or HR but on a person to person level that is a lot to deal with. I’ve had migraines and they can render me useless for the day, but that doesn’t make me (or you in your case) incapable of working. I think you need to get to the bottom of the migraines - there are treatments available. See what there is for you. From what you’ve said and what I’ve understood, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been treated fairly. Can you get another rep? Can you get a medical exemption while you try and proactively find out what’s going on with the migraines? It sounds like there is discrimination going on in your workplace. See if you can speak to HR or your union about this. I would appeal but also apply for other jobs where the work culture is better and you can have a fresh start, but do what you can to hold onto this job in the mean time and fight for yourself. Read into policies and procedures as you have but build up a case for yourself. From your post I can see you have the ability to do this. Create a route map of where you’ve raised your hand asking for support for the same thing and time and time again it hasn’t been offered. If it’s in their policy and it’s not been offered that’s definitely something to highlight too. It shows their error and mirrors their workplace culture. Good luck!

[Meowybeans]

Apply for intermittent FMLA you need to go through your HR department. Also you should be able to get work accommodations as ADHD is a disability along with anxiety and depression so they will be unable to discriminate. Some accommodations may be extra breaks, a flexible work schedule, it will also cover your doctors appointments

[Neurolancer]

Hi there. I don’t know exactly what your line of work is but I see that you work for Tesco, the large groceries business in the UK, and that you belong to a union.

Your post is very cogent and readable — not a mess as you say! I really feel for you — it sounds like your job truly is a nightmare — you don’t come across as mad whatsoever. REALLY!

But you are young and have time on your side. Be sure to take a moment to assess whether this job really is what you want. Does it play to your strengths? I’m a true believer that ADD people need to focus on what they’re good at and not worry about mastering their weaknesses. If your job is a good fit for you, the people involved are not toxic, and you don’t have a better alternative right now, then it makes sense to fight another round.

If you appeal, be sure to go into it with the right kind of support. Can you find / afford an ADD/ADHD coach or advocate who can help you document your situation including your strengths, accomplishments and barriers to your success? Perhaps someone who could walk through the process with you, and even attend the actual appeal meeting with you?

This person may also be able to help you understand your country’s disability act protections. (Or you can find an ADD friendly explanation of the act online I am sure. You need to get your rights clear and straight in your head till you know them like the back of your hand and can recognize when someone is challenging them.)

Be sure to write down what you want to say and stress in your appeal meeting — you are a good writer and this will give you confidence in the moment.

Can you also request a different union representative so that you can start with a clean slate?

I wish you the very best. Don’t doubt yourself!

Neurolancer