A hello of sorts!

[Tarknassus]

Hi!

I'm a 45yo guy who recently started strongly suspecting I have ADHD. Let me explain how I came to this conclusion. TL:DR - tried to figure out what causes a lot of issues in my life, discovered ADHD and am getting a diagnosis done.

I've struggled with depressive episodes, breakdowns, and anxiety issues since I was in school. I struggled with school anyway, even though I was a good average student (with "so much potential wasted" according to my school reports). College was worse - I changed career options 3 times in two years and quit college. Twice. Never had any life goals since, got into massive debts, became an alcoholic etc.etc.

Now I knew that something was wrong. This was all despite my hardest efforts to do well - I was still seemingly destined to fail. My home life was a mess, I was being warned, cautioned in work life almost constantly, could not establish or maintain relationships during my 20's and into my 30's.

I eventually married (which is still a "How did I manage to do that?" moment), and my struggles persisted. In fact, because of the marital responsibilities, it became harder for me. Eventually around 6-7 years ago I tried to start a path to getting a proper mental health assessment, and aimed at getting a diagnosis as to what was causing my issues.

I fought our health system all the way. From being offered nothing, to being turned down again and again (because I was "functioning" - i.e. not in a crisis at the time), to getting an appointment with a psychiatrist. Who then told me they don't make diagnoses as it is a 'harmful labelling that doesn't help the person.'

I had initially suspected autism, went to our Assessment service who said no evidence for autism at early age, but exhibited symptoms of autism having a different cause.

Obviously a quick google will show ADHD as the next thing it could be. But I'd been dismissing it because of the perpetuated myth of just the hyperactivity part... Easy mistake. Only when I said to myself, "fine, I'll read the symptoms" did I realise...

It suddenly explained so much. It's bringing me to tears thinking back to that moment, because I suddenly saw multiple examples in my life, and decided this needed to be put to the test.

So I blind tested my wife. I gave her the symptoms in a list without context and asked her if she recognised any in me. It was all of them, many having multiple examples. Then I went to my parents, did the same. They explained how I was from birth, things I have no memory of - and it all pointed back to ADHD again.

So now I'm having to go the private route as the NHS board where I live has no Adult ADHD provisions at all - there are some planned from autumn, but I'm not even expecting that much. My GP practice is willing to do the shared care system for any medication, so that aspect is taken care of.

Sorry it's gone on longer than I planned. It's a problem of mine that I try to explain EVERYTHING in writing.

[Hidden]

Good for you in explaining everything in writing. I find that it is often helpful for myself as well. Last year, at 39 I was diagnosed with ADHD after a realization that wasn't all that different from yours, and finally I have just recently received what I believe is reasonable medication to help treat some of the symptoms that had made it very difficult for me to function. I am happy to hear that you have hope, because I believe that is the most important thing. Also, as you likely know, there are a lot of things that you can do before a diagnoses to help treat some of the symptoms, including improving diet to include more ADHD healthy foods, working on mindfulness and excercise, and finding out ADHD friendly wats of organization. Best of luck and stay hopeful!

[winnifred1966]

Hello TarknassusI, too write lots as it is an easy way for me to express myself. I remember when I, finally got diagnosed which, was about four months ago. Like you I always felt that something was wrong, but could not figure out what. I’m 54, and just beginning to learn how to become the person I want to be. My search is over, and the heaviness that I carried for fifty three years and some, is gone, and it feels great. I am happy for your diagnosis and now being able to put the pieces together. I wish you all the best as you proceed and hope all of your dreams become a reality. Take care my friend ❤️