Worse after diagnosed

[just_ok]

I've recently been diagnosed with combined ADHD (a few months ago) and despite being on medication, I feel like I'm getting significantly worse. I used to be a 4.0 student who didn't really struggle much but not I can't even complete simple sentences because all my thoughts just don't make sense. I'm also getting more distracted and "lazy." Did anyone experience this or know if there is a reason? I'm starting to think that I'm making things worse myself by not trying anymore.

[jilllewis84]

Hey just_ok. It's ok to be just ok for now. What you're describing is totally normal and happens to most people who are diagnosed as teenagers or adults. Part of it is being suddenly acutely aware of your symptoms, which can make them actually worse and seem even worse than that. Part of it, too, can be the grief you go through realizing that you're neurodivergent. That can include regrets about the past and being distracted by seeing new contexts for behaviors. You're very likely just adapting to a new way of seeing your life. What's more is a lot of self-medicating and coping mechanisms just up and stop working after being diagnosed, even though you're still struggling. It's incredibly frustrating for sure, but it's just one step on the journey.

If this resonates, that's probably what's going on. Support groups and books can be really helpful for processing grief and rebuilding confidence. If you're concerned, though, you should definitely talk with your doctor to make sure it's not a side effect of medication or another undiagnosed comorbidity that's surfacing now your ADHD is being treated.

[Hidden]

Could it be the medication? Maybe you need a different dose or a different type. Or maybe medication isn't for you, but I guess you'd have to try different things before coming to that conclusion.

I've never been on ADHD medication, but I've done a lot of reading on ADHD in general.

[peterracoon]

Hi just_ok - I very much agree with poissonrouge, actually I really view it even more as a danger of the standard approach to ADHD - in my case, what you describe never really quite went away, until I made my peace by not thinking of ADHD and its potential symptoms anymore at all... The thing is, once we are told what kinds of symptoms we can have, which include things like "no motivation" and "being distracted by everything", and we fully internalize the possibility - it becomes basically impossible to tell where your "actual will" ends and "ADHD problems" begin.

So, to give a to the point tip - You treat your activities and goals and everything else in the "mental conception stage" without fear and doubt, as much as you can of course. Because if you think in the way of "will my ADHD allow this?" , you will second guess the possibility of acomplishing it, even before you start and you will never know . At the same time, you know certain things about yourself, due to the diagnosis you already have, so you can use this - rather than looking at the negative "symptoms" of what you cant do... look at the positive methods of achieving anything you want to do, as recommended for ADHD.

There is a lot of positive information on how to achieve anything and even about the straight up advantages that ADHD can provide. I suggest focusing on them, rather than the symptoms and limitations. Because no matter what we want, our subconscious takes all this information that we think about and simply internalizes it - so TLDR: thinking ADHD solutions, rather than ADHD symptoms

[just_ok in reply to peterracoon]

Thank you so much! I think I really needed this reminder!

[peterracoon in reply to just_ok]

You are more than welcome!Do what you really want and it will start to be easy to "remind" yourself of that all the time! Especially when what you really want in the moment is litterally nothing! Our society seems to think that to "do nothing" sometimes is some kind of mental disorder, but what happens is, that we get so desperate to "always do something" that most of that "something" is of lesser value, than an actual bit of true "nothing"

In fact, nothing is where creativity and inspiration lives, but... Lets not get too much into detail! I hope you are doing great and best of luck going forward!

-Pete

[lodopo]

Diagnoses are rough and sometimes inaccurate. You have symptoms that are causing you problems. You need to learn skills to push back against what is holding you back or causing you problems in life. A diagnosis is just a way to for you to further gain insight into ways you may be struggling, and again learn to push back against the impairment. Be very gentle with yourself and find a good therapist.

[Quoka]

I'm going through something similar right now after being diagnosed a couple of months ago- I can't give you an explanation for it, but you are not alone in medication not being an overnight solution 😀

For me, the brain jumble feeling similar to what you described has mostly passed- I gave my thoughts some space and tried to reduce any pressure or stress I had when it was happening and just let it run its course. I think that my spaciness and distraction is getting better as I start to get a bit more serious about forcing some structure into my day, but it is still there, and I absolutely feel lazy and unmotivated as you described... and am probably a bit harder on myself because I thought that the medication would change that. I put some important things off until I got on the medication and now, well, those things haven't been done and I think I'm going to loose work in one of the worst ways I've faced. Things haven't gotten better since the diagnosis and probably I'm at one of my most difficult points. But it's OK.

It does bring disappointment and a few doubts when taking the medication and what you expected to get better doesn't. There are things that are improving for me (many unexpected improvements I never recognised as being related to ADHD) at the same time as a downhill projection of the things I most wanted and expected to improve. Are there any things which have improved for you?

I took a medication break for a couple of days (which my doctor didn't like by the way so I'm not saying to do this) but I let myself feel the difference and weighed up whether I wanted to keep going down this path. At this point, I decided that it was the right choice to keep going, keep increasing the dose with my doctor (and maybe next time ask to try a different medication) and to start putting more of my focus on strategies to implement skills and routines and accepting that I will always need to have some functional shortcuts in place, rather than putting all of my hopes into the medication being an immediate magical solution.

It is a journey for us, it will take time and probably a few failures, and hopefully wins! Be as gentle and as kind to yourself as you can be and acknowledge that your brain chemistry is changing and it will take some time for your mind and habits to adapt to that. We all have different brains and it seems that it does take time to get the medication right at the beginning through a bit of trial and error, so don't worry if it takes a while to get it right, or if you end up doing better without the medication.

You're not lazy. I'm not lazy either. I feel lazy, but that's not who I am or why I am not doing the things I need to do. Our brains just work differently than most other brains in the world, but we're not hopeless and we do have things that happen in our colourful brains which are probably better and more interesting than a boring 'I can do my laundry' brain.

You aren't alone and there are many of us feeling a bit lost at the beginning of this path 🤗 I hope that you can keep exploring how your brain works with kindness and curiosity and with time find out what works best ❤️

Keep trying to try 😀

[just_ok in reply to Quoka]

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad to hear you are doing better!!

[Loribird52]

Halleluja! Someone over 50!!!!