How can I explain adhd...why is everybody so unwilling to understand that adhd is real ...

[Ricky1981]

Hi There! I am new Here.... I feel lost in Germany... How can one make People Unterstand ... i can Not even reach my suns Father... nobody Unterstands... everyone Seems afraid of adhd and medication... what do you guys do? Any tips to survive?

[Chiara09]

I'm in the same situation. I finally just get diagnose and nobody wants to learn about ADHD, not even my family. I feel bad because I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Every day it's so hard.

[IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

This probably doesn’t help much but I truly believe no one can ever understand! Their brains just do not work like ours. It’s impossible to understand. Just as we can imagine what it might be like for them, we’re only guessing! So I stopped expecting people to understand. Even if they try, they can’t. The trying helps, but it doesn’t change the reality. Only we understand each other. That’s why these groups are so important. Perhaps somehow that will help you???

Also, if I did try to explain it, the best thing I ever heard was:

People have a filter in their brain that that tells them what is an is not important at any given time. It takes what’s important and then filters out the unimportant information so the brain can focus on what it should be focusing on. Well, we have no filter. Instead, our brain is like an open flood gate that allows all information in all the time. So a fly on the wall 30 feet away in the corner of my eye can receive the same attention as a person talking right to my face. Just as the sound of the tv, lights, dirty in the floor, breeze from the AC, drip sound from the faucet and 1000 other things are all also happening at the same time. That’s why many of us have amazing attention to detail, great hearing for random off in the distance sounds, can rock at multi tasking and notice things others tend to not even realize. So it’s not that we have a lack of attention problem. It’s that we can have too much attention all at once and no way for our brain to shut off the flood of information. That result in us usually splitting our attention into all kinds of little parts which can make us miss the “whole” part of something important.

Hope this helps. Keep your head up and try not to let others get to you. It will just distract you even more when they’re trying to say something to you.

[Timster in reply to IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

Very helpful explanation of what its like to have ADHD. Thank you.

[lodopo]

What is it that you want people to understand? I only talk about my symptoms with people I can trust. I am fortunate because my adhd is a gift and I manage without meds. But what would you like people to understand? What would that look like?

[Ricky1981 in reply to lodopo]

Well mostly I want Theo to understand for the Kids who are repremanded as Slow stupid Stubborn or manipulative. They suffer from mobbing and they Themselves do Not know or understand that it is add why they fear to much or get angry or Else .... i wish People to think instead of judge... I for Exemple was often repremanded for Talking to much to fast ... that Made me sad and caused me to Talk more thanks to my add. And I was raped With 15 thanks to my Lack of People skill, sadness and absentmindedness... Many People I know have difficult lives, suffer from adicction, obesete, unemployment especially with súper high iqs... teenagers cutting themselves.... or workaholics... Losing their Family or lives... Kids dying in Car accidénts. Here adhd is so unkonown, and Nobody wants to Hear about, what we consider a to fast diagnosis for unpleasant boys.... even I ignored the suggestion of adhd 10 years ago and 2019 for month ... we do Not like the Word adhs it is in Germany and Even diagnosed Kids do Not get much education about their condition... teachers Friends Family members do Not get it and reject medication.... it is different in the Uk or States I Guess? Is it ?

[lodopo]

I read so much pain in your words. I am so sorry you are so far away from support. If you can, try and be as loving to yourself and your family /children as you can. It may take a long time for the world to understand our condition ( ADHD) But for today, think about how you can survive with love and acceptance of your many gifts of love creativity, sensitivity and kindness. Many others do not have or understand this. The internet can be support for you. I hope you can find a therapist or any positive loving support you can find. I am glad you are here on this forum. try and be as loving to you and your family as you can. Stress and negativity can make our symptoms worse so fight back with unconditional LOVE and go where the love is and avoid where the love is absent. You don't need shame, and you don't need people being hard on you. Much love and respect from California and someone who understands ( as best I can).. Peace and love be with you and your family.

[applejack123]

I battle this frustration all the time. ADHD is like you're missing a leg, but everyone else thinks it's there. They keep criticizing and judging you for not doing the things that two legged people do (you're just lazy) which has endlessly negative effects on how you see yourself.

My feeling is the only way to cope is to accept that you'll drive yourself insane if you rely on the outside world for acceptance and understanding. Let go the of the expectation that you have for others to understand you as you're setting yourself up for continued disappointment. Instead try and educate if there's an opportunity but the acceptance and understanding has to come from within.

by the way, easier said than done and it's a lifelong process.

[dubstepMaul in reply to applejack123]

Well said, applejack. I raised a son with ADHD, and that lack of support I received from family was appalling. Eventually it got to the point where I stopped trying to get them to understand my son. We had our own little community, and support from friends and others outside of my family. I needed to be his best advocate and shield him from judgement and criticism. Also I made sure that we made time for fun things and humor, since he had a lot of struggles in school, and this balanced out the stresses. I played video games with him (which made a gamer out of me...haha), and to this day I still play games on my Xbox. But yeah I still carry the pain of those early years and the thinly veiled criticism he and I received. I feel very defensive when I hear someone saying something demeaning anout an ADHD child. My son is 29 now and has a very solid understanding of himself, his strengths as well as his areas of weakness. I am proud of him.

[applejack123 in reply to dubstepMaul]

Sounds like he was lucky to have ya

[RollingThunder]

Hi Ricky1981, Check out applejack123 graphic, it is perfect for explaining ADHD!

[RollingThunder]

Click on the picture of applejack123 and the graphic is in his third post: Helpful Graphic 🤗