What do I do with my new provider taking the medication that saved my life? plus him treating me as if I were worthless..

[Kaai]

I dont know what to do..

I had to switch to another provider for my psyche care. I was on Methylphenidate 30mg twice daily.

The new provider states adult ADHD is not to be treated with stimulant medications and took my medications. He is prescribing some low dose antipsychotic to help with anxiety but he warned it will cause me to be drowsy.

I am already on Venlafaxine for anxiety/depression.

He treated me like I was pill seeking for the entire visit. Talked down to me with a lot of accusatory language and it seemed a lot like he sent a flag inqury to the state system for tracking controlled substances to prevent any new prescriptions.

I am diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD with significant impact to my daily life when untreated. I am also a certified Physician Assistant who just passed his boards and is looking for his first position. I am well educated on the most up to date studies and recommendations. Everything he said is very old and outdated. He is also an older Nurse Practitioner, never having to retake any boards for continued certification unlike Doctors and Physician Assistants.

I am scared. Before finally seeking some kind of diagnosis and treatment for my syndrome (as I was 'diagnosed' as a child but my parents didnt believe in it so it never was treated. I never wanted to be diagnosed with ADHD but after 6 months of testing and medications, that is what they diagnosed me with nearly 3 years ago.), I was losing myself in my symptoms. I had extreme difficulty with everyday life and it made my anxiety/depression hit a very high degree. I handled it for years but it finally hit a head. I was very close a few time to attempting suicide hence my seeking treatment.

I dont want to go back to that. I am scared. He is drug testing me again in a week to make sure I have discontinued my methylphenidate. So I had to quit cold turkey. (I forget half the time to take many of my doses so honestly the w/d isnt all that bad for me personally and I completed a 3 week drug holiday a month and a half ago). I am not worried about withdraw. I am worried for what comes after. When my symptoms hit full head again. The methylphenidate helped a good 40%. Enough to get me out of it and start working on things. But without it, I am scared.

And he made me feel worthless, subhuman, hopeless for my medications and my diagnosis. It was an hour of this. I have spiraled hard afterward, especially after not having my afternoon dose. I am tired of being treated poorly for my diagnosis. I am scared.

The worst thing is that I felt good enough in my mental health to own a gun safely and learn gun safety. If I had owned one before my medication, I would not be here today and he hasnt started me off with good feelings about myself. What do I do? I cannot go to another practice after having my Kasper flagged. It would be 'clinic shopping' for controlled substance abuse with that flag inquiry. I cant do anything.

As a follow up, I already have issues with being tired a lot. The new medication is Risperidone at 7.5mg and is notorious for causing drowsiness. I dont know if i cant take being even more tired at the same time as attempting to hold what life I have built together.

And I have tried atomoxitine before. It caused significant issues with suicidal ideation.

Other syndromes have been ruled out many times by the licensed psychiatrist I was seeing.

Final comment: I was already working on my depression and going through a hardship before this visit. My mother, whom I was extremely close to and the last of my family I could talk to, passed extremely recently due to... well.. a pulmonary embolism due to an autoimmune reaction caused by a politicized virus. I have not been handling it well and havent had time to really work through any of those feelings.

I dont think I can do this. I have no choice. Of all the times. There is a reason I am scared.

[GatsbyCat]

Hello, Kaai~

Welcome to our group! Gosh, you are going through a lot right now, I'm so sorry to hear how you are suffering.

First, get a different provider. This doctor/counselor whatever is clearly NOT sympathetic to what you need to improve. Medication is clearly the #1 thing recommended to help improve adult / child ADHD along with behavior change.

If you can, call your old doctor or nurse and tell them what is happening and ask them to recommend someone else. Sometimes, we have to switch providers to find the right fit. I've gone through a few different ones before finding one that helped me. If they can't help, go find a provider yourself. Here's a couple of links:

Psychology Today has a list

psychologytoday.com/us/psyc...

type in your zipcode

or another alternative is:

zocdoc.com/procedure/hypera...

And 3rd:

ADDitude Magazine has a directory which lists ADHD psychologists, coaches, etc

directory.additudemag.com/

It is very hard sometimes for people to believe we have this condition! We as ADHD people, do not look any different, or have any physical difference that people can see and understand this matter. It's all internal, and you probably already know our neurology.

Good YouTube videos out there too:

Just type in ADHD

Also, type in guided meditation and go to the Mindful Movement. I use their meditations every day, they help me relax and feel calm.

Remember, you are NOT alone. You are valued. You are important. You can get through this time, even though it is hard. Come back and tell us how you are doing, PLEASE!!

Best

GatsbyCat

❤

[GatsbyCat in reply to GatsbyCat]

One more thing: If you need a bit of help NOW, here's more infoCall the NAMI Helpline at

800-950-NAMI

Or in a crisis,

text "NAMI" to 741741

[Kaai in reply to GatsbyCat]

Would it be ok to look for providers? I'm incredibly afraid of being labeled as drug seeking. Ive literally only took one medication and as prescribed. I even forget it enough that ive only filled 9 months worth this year out of the 11 months.

My experience as being a provider in rotations has made me fearful. Seeing what they do to people they label as seeking.

[GatsbyCat in reply to Kaai]

Definitely go and find a new provider! The other poster had a good website below as well.

You are your own best advocate. Stand up for yourself and find a compatible person to help treat you. You will be so glad that you did this step for yourself!!

Best wishes to you on your awesome journey of life.

Regards

GatsbyCat

❤🎅

[Judethedog]

Hi Kaai, as the mom of a young adult medicated for ADHD, I can relate. My child's psychiatrist died suddenly and unexpectedly. She had already been driving an hour to continue care with him because of the perils of seeking a new psychiatrist.

The first new one she saw gave her a urine test right off the bat as if she were a criminal. As expected, her urine was clean but the doc said "I'm still not giving you Vyvanse. I will only give you Wellbutrin." After years of taking Vyvanse as directed, cold turkey.

She's getting her stimulant prescribed now by a Kaiser doc but it's always iffy, she has white coat hypertension and they use that to try to deny her.

I recently found this tool through Propublica to search for what providers in your area prescribe the med you want. I think PP is doing this to shame providers but you can use it to find one too. It just takes a long time to find your med because it is a long list of drugs and not alphabetized.

Go here projects.propublica.org/che... and click on your state in the list on the left where it says "prescriptions by state." Don't use the search box. The next page has a looong list of prescribed drugs for your state. I had to search a long time before I found my child's med. It was the 537th med on this list of over 1200 for our state, so look carefully for methylphenidate, it may also go by ritalin. When you find your drug, click on its name in blue. I got a list of 10 psychiatrists who prescribe it in my state. One is near us and has good online reviews. I hope this helps. This is not why PP publishes this, they are pretty much into shaming doctors but your can reengineer their creation to help yourself!

[Puzzl in reply to Judethedog]

Use (CTRL) +F to open the Browser's find box. It will find all the words on whatever page is open.

[Bananas2020]

You deserve better treatment. This practioner sounds very negative and not pro-you. Take care of you and look for someone who listens. I learned how Adults w/ADHD-ADD have much higher rate of death due to many factors after attending workshop by Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D., at an ADHD Conference. He spoke about how stimulants help change the brain and can be very important part of treatment. He really opened my eyes to data regarding how much at risk teens and adults are for dropping out of school, employment issues, trouble with the law, failed relationships, etc. He eliminated my guilt for using stimulants as part of my treatment. I hate hearing about doctors guilting patients trying to get better. You deserve treatment by a professional that is updated, nonjudgemental and looks at your past treatment success. I understand how that poor attitude can affects your psyche. I've experienced similar treatment from doctors and it will be a waste of your time trying to get this doc to see where your coming from. Wishing you much luck.

[StoneJeweler]

I understand the hell you are going thru. I am a retired RN and have been fighting for my rights a long time. You need help.I don't know where you live or how old you are. I just recently called the suicide or crisis helpline, they sent a social worker who can help with many things. If not they have the resources to guide you in the right direction. Help you with either finding a new doctor or talking to your old one as they are your advocate. Doctors at Kaiser can get away with a lot, in fact , they usually are there because of that along with not having to have malpractice insurance. (hint) Go online, Dr Amen or AmenMd.com. He has a lot of information you can learn from. There are free tests that can help you understand more about your specific condition. What you can do is make sure you are eating healthy like organic, no sweets or bread like goodies. Keto genie diet is preferred. Are you taking the right supplements? Have your blood levels checked in regard to vitamins, omega 3's, minerals like zinc, magnesium etc.

There are a few types of ADHD that get worse if you use stimulants.Most do better. Check for toxic substances, GMO's, mold or mycotoxins. pesticides, use non-toxic cleaners. Be as organic as you can in your home, life and body care.

I like Dr Bredesen's understanding of stopping mental decline. It's not just one cause, but multiple causes creating your condition. You must find the causes and treat them all in order to improve your mental state. He's famous for his Alzheimers treatments which has shown unbelievable results. His books "Th End of Alzheimers" 2017 and "The End of Alzheimers Program" 2020. It's the first protocol to enhance cognition and reverse decline.

While working on your doctor and medication issues, you can do a lot of these adjustments that really do help improve your mental as well as you whole body health. We are all connected. Please put your gun in a place where you cannot get it without anothers help. A gun is too easy and until your brain is truly on the right path, depression can be a slippery slope. REMEMBER NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BELITTLE YOU like he did. Take it one day at a time or hour if necessary, you are worth it!

Just because you think you are up to date on your medical knowledge doesn't mean you know it all, you don't. Ask for help. Listen. And please be good to yourself!

[mrl12 in reply to StoneJeweler]

I read this reply with great interest because I lost my mom to early onset Alzheimer's 13 years ago. (She was only 46 when symptoms began. 52 when she passed away.) I wanted to reply as a caution to those who might read Dr. Bredesen's work and get false hope or trade medical treatment to his recommendations. According to the following review of his work by Joanna Hellmuth MD, Memory and Aging Center, Department of Neurology, University of California, his research does not have sound evidence to support the claims.

memory.ucsf.edu/sites/memor...

This is disappointing. But a reminder that if something seems too good to be true, be sure to research it further.

[Kaai]

I appreciate everyone's support. I have been kinda hopeless about all of this for a long time with providers' and their comments on stimulants or how even pharmacy techs sometimes react. Funny I'm a licensed advanced practice provider and, yet, I feel as if there is no 'safe' place for my care/treatment. Tiring and hopelessness arent words I wish I had to use to describe my thoughts towards this condition and the apparent aura that causes medical personel to shame me for my own 'choices.'

One of the things I fear is landing a wonderful 1st job/career somewhere and then my symptoms creeping up and destroying everything. Or the issues I have while driving. Stimulant + driving = ok i get tired like normal but at least I can keep my attention mostly on the road. This past weekend driving 7 hr round trip without stimulant = well I am glad to have my wife by my side helping because I did not do wonderfully with attention drifting or (I get really tired if bored and cant move) nearly falling asleep. I forgot how anxious I got trying to get up and do things before getting treated. Now its back in full swing. Even taking the dogs out is driven by anxiety making me get up and go.

Before getting treating, things were unraveling. I feel like I had finally gotten myself together. And I dont feel bad only for me. I know how I effect my wife's wellbeing when I forget to do stuff, have trouble getting up, trouble going, difficulty with emotions, and much more. My adhd symptoms have already affected her to such a great degree. I feel horribly guilty I am having this much trouble attempting to control this without the meds. I feel like a terrible person, honestly.

I think I may try another clinic I found somewhat close. Its self pay... but I'll manage it somehow. Turns out the new PPO at my wife's work (insurance through her while I'm trying to get a job, of which I am incredibly thankful for her and everything she does), doesnt cover any.. i mean any mental health care. At all. So everything will be self pay from here out anyway until I get a job that, hopefully, has better insurance for us.

If you have any tips on self-managing moderate to severe ADHD without medication for while I work to get in somewhere, please let me know. I have tried all my techniques we had been working on while i was on the stimulant but I'm falling incredibly short at every turn. Instead, the only method that is 'working' is the tried and true give myself anxiety until I get up and go. I can handle that for a little while but it feels like borrowed time.