Is this an ADHD thing?

[LunaBean]

Does anyone have trouble expressing how they are feeling? It's really hard for me to express how I feel towards things. Is it an ADHD thing?

[GatsbyCat]

Hi, LunaBean~ Yes, it is an ADHD thing. We do have to learn to do this, so that we can communicate clearly with others; at work, at home, etc..

Just saw recently a 3 sentence rule idea. Try to say what you feel/think in 3 sentences. Break it down; a) happy/sad/angry /frustrated

BECAUSE b) the hummingbirds drank all of the feeder food or whatever your subject is about.....

Then come up with c) what can be done to fix it.... Go outside fill up feeder... Set an alarm clock to get up on time without a snooze button...

Also, picked up a great book called:

Taking charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkely, PhD

super useful.

Hope these ideas help you out!! You are not alone; I suffer from this at times too, and am working on overcoming it.

Best wishes on this awesome journey of life.

Regards~

GatsbyCat

[Skittlebrain]

This is very difficult for me to put into words how I’m feeling or even manage my own emotions and process and figure out how I feel about something but then when I try to put it into words it’s like asking me to do algebra lol it takes time and focus and it’s frustrating because I want to communicate how I feel but feels like I’m on a different planet most of the time anyways. Frustrating!

[Hidden]

Have you heard of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? I have this and a huge percentage of adults with ADHD especially those like me who weren’t diagnosed until well well well well into adulthood 🥴

[SaffiJuniper in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing this. I’m still sitting here with my mouth hanging open in wonder. Like what!? OMG! Why haven’t I heard of this? Could explain a lot. It’s so helpful.

[HadEnuf]

It's a human thing; but because we live in a world with a neurotypical vocabulary, the deck is stacked even further against us.

Take the example of RSD cited by another poster: WE probably understand each other's experience with it despite the inadequate vocabulary available; but expressing it to anyone for whom it is entirely foreign? Good luck!

[KatelynGman]

For sure! I have that problem exactly. I always tell my partner to talk to me as soon as anything is feeling down and to tell me all the details. But then when I feel down and they can tell, they always ask, "Why are you sad?." But the thing is I can't always find a way to explain it or sometimes it feels like it won't apply to them. So FOR SURE, it's a struggle for ADHD people to connect and be able to express themselves, especially to people who don't understand ADHD.

[mcfail]

Definitely me too....my wife criticizes me all the time for not being communicative in general and includes sharing feelings. Its tough on all of us - but I never connected it with ADHD. Interestingly when I do, it often comes out wrong....and then the worst happens - I get rejected, told my opinion or position or feeling is wrong or ridiculous or unfounded....so my fears of being trashed happen...again

[ZimmyB]

McFail you sound exactly like me and my situation! I often become blank when confronted with an emotional conversation that causes me to have very large delays until I respond. This is a huge issue for my wife. She thatsaid thinks I am a robot and unable to show emotions. The delay in responses appear that I amjust don’t care and my general appearance is that I just don’t give a shit about anything. I never know how to explain what I am feeling or I

[IgnoranceWasNotBliss]

I struggled with this for YEARS!!! I will just be at a complete lose of words. I struggled so badly with this, one of my breakups was hanging on my being able to “open up and say something”, and instead, he walked out the door after it was still complete radio silence. I didn’t want us to break up. But I couldn’t say anything. And knew it.

For me, this got fixed through texting!! It took a few years in a relationship with a patient person and my phone. If something important needs to be discussed and I knew I would blank because emotions would be involved, I would actually go to another room, alone, and text the conversation. With text, I could think about how I felt. I had time to process things the person said back to me. I could form a sentence that I could then change after I reread it. It prevented me (sometimes) from saying things I would regret or lash out. It helped me to be honest about things I may not be able to say out loud and see the other persons reaction. I did this for a few years to be honest. But now I can have many more conversations in person. It was a stepping stone for me.

However, if I’m really angry at my husband, I still choose text. When my emotions are high it’s a better, safer, more productive way for me to communicate.

I was undiagnosed for 40 years so odd things like this were all part of me finding my own coping mechanism. They’re probably not “right”. But if it helps, then maybe it’s not so bad.

Good luck.