Needing to Vent

[tryan0319]

Hi all,

I'm new here, and I'm sure this probably isn't the first post like this, so sorry in advance.

I'm just in my head this evening, I don't even know where to begin. I guess that's it, I never know where to begin. Living with ADHD as an adult is so incredibly frustrating (we all know). I was diagnosed when I was 16, although I knew it was something I've been dealing with for much longer. That's beside the point. I am just so exhausted with my day-to-day lately. I don't even try to explain myself to anyone because I don't know how to make it make sense. Does that make sense??

I feel like I'm a child in an adult's body. I'm the punchline of every joke, because I'm "quirky." It's taken me almost 20 minutes to type this much already because I keep going back and forth. I don't really know where to go with this. UGH. I'm just so sick of not being able to do anything. I've tried medication. For the last 8 years I've been taking Vyvanse on and off. Started with 60mg, that was far too much of a dosage, so my Doc prescribed me 30mg, and that wasn't much better. The side effects got the best of me, like I was just a completely different person. I was fine for a few months, but after about three months or so - que panic attacks, constant anxiety, crippling depression, and full on mania. With trial and error, I realize that stimulant medication does not work for me, however, I feel like I can't get my shit together. Pardon my French. I feel like I need SOMETHING. I'm so tired. I hate that I've come to this point. It's been well over a year, actually, that I've been off of medication all together. I told myself I could do without, but I just feel like I would be able to perform my day-to-day better.

I need a routine, desperately. I literally just cannot get myself into one. I've tried and failed over and over. Everyday works different for me. I guess, after this wall of text I've typed I'm really just seeking a crowd that can relate. Has anyone had a positive experience with a non-stimulant medication? Any suggestions?

[iWasSunshine]

Hey tryan0319,

Don’t be sorry for posting, it can be incredibly therapeutic to share what’s going on and have someone else sympathize with your situation (I’m sure most of us can!)

I have been there and I’m slowly crawling up out of the confusion with the help of an ADHD coach. I HIGHLY recommend getting coaching, it’s been the absolute BEST THING!!

My coach is Kristen Carder at ihaveadhd.com

She also has a podcast (the I Have ADHD Podcast) that proved extremely helpful to me even before I signed up for her coaching program.

You got this!

[Frankman in reply to iWasSunshine]

You sound like you are having a pretty tough time. I am 60 and only just began to realize that I am probably ADHD because my son is and I noticed a lot of his traits and what he is going through as what I went through when I was his age. 19, But if I might make a completely off the wall suggestion: I have recently discovered how seriously I take myself and my life. i have recently just started downloading humorous memes and clever satire and sarcasm off of Pinterest. I look at them throughout the day and in the morning when I especially need a boost to get out of bed. I think we get so caught up in our problems and “being an adult” that we forget the therapeutic value of humour and laughing at our selves a little bit. We forget that their are millions of people who are going through the same thing and somehow have the presence of mind to find a little humour in the world and their situation. It really helps, if even for a little bit. It can give you a little break from the constant weight of everything and even provide a little perspective. Anyways, I do not mean to minimalize how you feel about your situation In any way but I hope you will try to add a little humour into your life, you might be surprised how it might help, even if just a little...there may be some truth to the old adage “humour is the best medicine”

Good luck, Don’t let the b$%$$ds get you down!

[quiteasmile]

You’ve described my life! I understand and it sucks! I haven’t lost hope yet because we can learn executive function skills which we lack and causes so many problems. I am vigorously chasing how to learn these functions without having someone teach me because I cannot afford the cost that is charged for these services. Medication can only help my brain to slow down to concentrate. It doesn’t help with time management, decision making, forgetfulness, slow processing speed, etc. So I believe we have to learn the skills on our own. I will get there yet and you can too 😁

[Gardening35]

I’ve been feeling similarly lately.... I’m not sure why. I haven’t changed medications, or done anything drastically different. I’ve just started losing interest in most things, making it harder and harder to work. I know exactly what you mean taking 20 minutes to type a few lines. I have personally found stimulants to be a life saver, though. I take vyvanse. I also take a small antidepressant, which really helps with the anxiety that vyvanse causes me, and just anxiety for other things. I’ve found fish oil to be very helpful in addition. I take vitamin D, fish oil, CoQ10, and a multivitamin every day. I find that the vitamin D really helps with mood, which helps my motivation, and the others just help my head to be clearer. I notice a difference in clarity even when I take the vyvanse and not the other things. That is, I’m still not as clear headed without supplements. Maybe that’s why I’ve been having a terribly off week. I haven’t taken any fish oil the past 2 weeks. I haven’t tried nonstimulant medication, so I really can’t speak to that, but if you try it please share how it works for you!