Any Non-AD/HD spouses here?

[NonADHDSpouse]

Needing a support group. I'm the Non-AD/HD spouse and I love my hubby and need support group. I …. well any Non-AD/HD spouse knows how I feel, so that's all share for now.

[HadEnuf]

You'll probably find plenty of spouses, here; but I'm going to offer some insight based on what worked between myself and a non-ADHD partner. (BTW, no need to be a “slasher”, with the spelling: silly joke, but I never could resist those—impulsive type.)

Guess what: your husband knows how you feel; and don't believe for a minute it doesn't bother him, even if he denies it.

Seeking comfort in each other, knowing his symptoms cause both of you pain, and cultivating unity against the suffering itself, rather than division over its cause, can be helpful.

That's what ultimately worked to heal a relationship I've been in for the last ten years. (I was lucky, the previous twenty-plus year: my late spouse already knew from hey own family life that my symptoms were no more than that; whereas my current, longest-standing partner had to learn, and took years—finally reading books I had recommended early on—to believe that my symptoms were nothing more than that, and certainly not lack of care.)

Note this doesn't mean I am not responsible for what I do, or for the pain it causes: it merely limits the injury to what is real rather than imagined and provides a basis and a motive to improve where I can, as well as help rather than hindrance from my partner.

Good luck!

[NonADHDSpouse in reply to HadEnuf]

Thanks so much for your reply

[mindexplore]

Your post is 6 months old but I wanted to chime in because I just joined this group looking for support, I'm a non-ADHD spouse to an ADHD partner as well. I have had a hard time finding resources for support and I definitely need some. If you see this - I'd love to know if you found any groups or other resources that I could plug into. Thanks.