The NEED to finish a "project" and the guilt felt as I hyperfocus and ignore my family..

[Artaddict]

Well the title says it all really.

Anyone else out there so driven to research every single idea that pops in their mind?? I am constantly consumed with ideas.. I love to study food and nutrition or mental helath or art techniques etc etc.. every day. It will happen as I am helping my daughter with homework or having family time anand mo matter ehat I tell myself, be present, put the phone down, be there with them. I cant stop and I am consumed Its almost like an addiction once I'm really into writing this poem or painting this painting. Justbwich I could just "be".

Would love to know I am not alone.. and other parents feel this guilt as well..

[Artaddict]

And apparently I also type too fast, and rush my words then forget to spell check or edit... 🙄

[Testarossa1975]

I research anything and everything too. All it takes is one random thought, and I want to know more about it, and then I think of something else I've been meaning to look up. I sometimes stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then regret doing that when I have to wake up early to take the kids to school. I am not a morning person anyway, but I do feel bad because I function worse due to my lack of sleep, and that usually means I am irritable. I am working on trying to slow down in the evenings and find a calming routine, but I just want to keep going. When I do get into bed earlier I am wide awake even if I did start to feel tired beforehand. Oh well, I guess I can close my eyes and think of all the things I can research tomorrow.

[Artaddict in reply to Testarossa1975]

Crazy! That is like reading something I would write. We are definitely very similar in the way our brain likes to work. By the end of the night my eyes are sooo sore from straining to read 1 more thing..

I agree the guilt is all consuming. I also have to get up to get my girl to school and less sleep equals procrastinated wakeups equals crunch time 😂 My code word to let my little girl know mom got up late again and we dont have much time! I agreed that a calming routine would help.. hmm ot maybe a rule to set for ourselves like, no internet after 8 or 9.. I'll try it this week coming up.

Side note i just finished a small 17 page "book" on Amazon Kindle called

ADHD and Maybe Me by Amber Scott.

It is a 4 hour look into my guilt ridden mind as I again.. choose to hyperfocus on this idea or that during family movie time... you might like it! I would love to know if anyone likes it just 2 bucks!

I am proud I actually stated and finished a project!!

[Testarossa1975 in reply to Artaddict]

I read your book last night, and I can relate to a lot of what you have written. I think it is great that you are able to express your experiences and feelings in a poetic way and that you were able to complete the challenge of writing your story and making it available for others read. I know that just writing about our experiences can help us process and evaluate where we've been and where we'd like to be headed. I have been writing too, just for myself, and it has helped me organize my thoughts.

I hope you will not let guilt overwhelm you. I think our kids are more forgiving of our faults than we realize. Remember that your daughter loves you and she doesn't want you to feel guilty. Sometimes it's ok to be working on what interest you while she is near; your presence, even if you are writing or making art, still counts. You can also schedule time, like 20-30 minutes (as many days as possible) to give her your undivided attention. If that sounds too difficult, start with 10 minutes. Take baby steps if you need to. I know we can feel like we need to be perfect and do amazing things for our kids, but they know when we are doing our best and the small moments add up over time to strengthen our bonds.

Regarding our night time routine, I try to start dimming lights or turning some out about an hour before my kids' bedtime. This helps everyone settle down, but especially my son with ADHD and myself. I have found that I need an hour after he goes to bed to clean the kitchen and get ready for the day. Then I need a half hour to slow down (because I move 90 mph to get this dreaded chore done) and relax doing something I enjoy. Usually that is looking up things on the internet! It would be good to eliminate screens, but I am not ready for that yet. I just have to make sure I am done by 11. So last week, I decided I would reward myself with something special after I get to bed by 11 on 5 nights. Yes, I need a reward, just like my son, to motivate me. But I am hoping this will help me to get a consistent sleep schedule so I can function better.

Hang in there, keep trying new things until you find what works for you, and don't be too hard on yourself!

[Artaddict in reply to Testarossa1975]

Haha! Love it! Moving 90 mph cleaning the kitchen! That is so me as well... And cooking 90 mph.. then the need to relax after. And treats. Yup. I am all about work work work make the house perfect then having my "treat". Might it be a glass of wine.. or even just one episode of my show.. Game of Thrones Atm.. rewatching it

Thank you for taking the time to read my mini book of thoughts.. It is nice knowing it has been seen by someone! Next up is a poetry book. Here is one of mine I wrote to go along with one of my landscpae Paintings:)Enjoy!

"Sunlit Rain"

~ The sky falls, past the rays

of light that brighten the land below,

the smell of green and dirt, memories.. whispers of long ago..

The clouds part, the land is bright,and what a sight! These leaves dripping with golden light.. scattered all around from yesterday's storm, a carpet of yellow so deep, and so warm..

Nature's beauty through life and decay

Forever changing from then till today..

Washed away like tears in the dark..

What a beautiful day, for a walk in the park... ~A

[Hidden in reply to Artaddict]

It's like reading myself write, the joke is, I wanted to know nothing when I was at school

[Hidden]

This is what happens to me, I'm so mad because a private psychiatrist actually wrote a report suggesting ADHD and the mental health team I was referred to doesn't deal with adhd, They failed to mention things like this that were classic signs of hyper focusing and focused on twisting things that I had said, going down the route of personality disorder

[Hidden]

The saddest thing is, I can't stop my hyper focus, it is actually like an addiction, nobody could ever work out how I learnt about html and SEO and it all happened from me hyper focusing on how to get to the top of google. Anyone who knows me looks gone out when I tell them I can do it, even a website designer asked how I learnt it, because it is so not me, but my whole life falls apart when I start something like this, I eat, sleep and breathe for it, my work goes out the window, everything goes out the window. I have ended up learning about things I have no reason to learn about, it's driving me mad, because when I snap out of it, I've usually got a trail of disaster bending me through letting everything just slip. It's literally like an addiction that I can't stop once am start.

I have the answer to someone randomly turning deaf and snoring, or how to get to the top of google but I don't know why I took 3 months off work to discover it .... I need help and fast

[Artaddict]

Yes. It is so much like an addiction!! Some days I am better then others and can be apart of all that is happening around me... You should be proud of getting to the top of Google etc though. Your hyperfocusing can be beneficial in a lot of ways too. Yes we are both full of knowledge that may not benefit our everyday lifes, but if we can find a way to use our focusing on important things.. somehow lol.. it can actually help our lives.. I am sorry they have miss diagnosed you . You know you best and I think you should get a second opinion!! I have personally never seen a phyciatrist, it was my sister that suggested ADHD, then my family doctor.. No meds I am so far going the natural route.

I have written a small "book" of my thoughts, a 4 hour window of an ADHD mind, during family movie time.. where I try to be with them mentally, but I am consumed with guilt as I hyperfocus on this and that. Mainly writing said book! It is 2 bucks on Amazon Kindle, called ADHD and Maybe Me by Amber Scott

Please give it a read.. I would love a comment about it.. and to know it was made for something...

Talk soon

A

[Hidden in reply to Artaddict]

They haven't mis diagnosed me, a private psychiatrist did a full 2 hour assessment and report and explained all the reasons why he thinks it adhd, i just I took the report to my GP who got the suspected diagnosis wrong and the cmht were attempting to go down the personality disorder route, I discharged myself, I knew I wasn't being taken seriously when they said they were concerned about my paranoid thoughts, after a 30 minute assessment with a medic.

You know when you know that people aren't understanding you. This has been the most surreal experience Ever. Going to a GP with a suspected ADHD diagnosis and ending up being put on antipsychotics and accused of having paranoid thoughts, that were actually because of severe sleep deprivation because the docs wouldn't prescribe me any sleeping tablets, then the wallies put me on phenergan that sent me even more hyper active than I was with my sleep deprivation.

I will check your book now

[Artaddict]

Wow! That is pretty messed up.. I swear sometimes I am all for saying f*** off to all the doctors.. just cant seem to trust them or their advice these days.. Honestly I believe in naturalpathic medicine most! I understand that some things are necessary for certain illnesses.. my mom for example was paranoid schizophrenic. So due to an imbalance of chemicals in her brain she needed to be on antipsychotics etc. I just think that nowadays docs are soooo easy to just take out their prescription pads.. without really listening to you.. They do not even think to get to the root of the problem. Just a bandage. A pill. To cover up symptoms. I hate it!! I've become my own doc these days.. healthier eating, more sleep, switched jobs less stress, lots of veggies and nutrition. No wheat no dairy. Only eggs anand fish..I feel so much better mentally. My mind is happier ya know?? If you can search up the brain gut connection do it!! It has really opened my eyes

Thank you for taking the time to read my little book of thoughts... it is my first attempt at an amazon book. Next will be a poetry book with pictures of my paintings

Ttys A