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Adult ADHD Support
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I lost another job

I can't keep a job. I just lost another job after only 17 days. The longest run is 2.5 years. I'm in my late 50s. I don't do drugs, I show up early, I have skills. I am even educated.

I wish I knew why people don't like me. I am not focused and not that best, but I don't think I deserve this.

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I can relate to your situation. I have had a few full-time jobs during my entire career and was recently let go from an onsite temporary job when the company decided to close that office. Don't think of it as people not liking you, but people tend to shy away from what they don't understand because it's easier to be around people of the same mindset. You might want to research executive function as this a huge problem for people with ADHD.

Take a breath and then get back up.

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Yes, executive function is key.

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Do they give you reasons as to why they had to let you go or just show you the door? Do you tell them about your ADHD and tell them what support you need them to provide? Are you on medication and if so do you think it's helping or have you tried different lines of treatment? Sorry about all the questions, just trying to get a feel for what's been going on up to now.

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I was given a six month contract with this organization. By the end of the third week I was let go.

The reason being, I was not completing the tasks. I knew this. They gave me a very complicated document to work from. However, I had no background with this material. To me they did not give me any direction. By the time the direction came they let me go.

I did not tell them about my ADHD because I was hoping it would not be an issue any longer. And since it's a contract job through a recruiter, I am not sure it would have mattered. Perhaps it would have helped me at my last government job. But I was getting grossly underpaid and I could not say there for that salary anyway.

I tried medication in years past. It never helped.

Edit: In addition, I'm wondering how much of my issues are work are self fulfilling prophecies. When a new contractor came the next day to work there I immediately thought to myself, "oh no, this is a test to see who does better. They are going to keep him and let me go..." Then I thought to myself how this has been happening to me every since I was a teenager back in the 1970s.

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Yeah we can be our own worst enemies sometimes and overthinking things goes with the territory unfortunately. What kinds of jobs have you done mostly? I work in a lab so I can keep my hands busy so that's ideal for me. Do you mind me asking which medications you've tried? If it was a long time ago they may have been improved since then and also might be more suited to your current situation than your previous circumstances. I would definitely recommend talking it through with a doctor with experience of treating adult ADHD and keep an open mind about medication, stimulant medication helps 80% ADHD sufferers and there are other drugs that can help many of the other 20%, it can take a while to find the best one for you and dosage often needs tweaking but having suffered all my life and recently found an excellent fit myself I can honestly say it makes all the difference. I was on Concerta XL and Ritalin initially and my doctor kept me on it much too long, I felt awful even though it helped with my ADHD symptoms and it affected other aspects of my life. I kept talking to him about alternatives and eventually he took me seriously and put me on Elvanse (European Vyvanse, I'm British) and it has turned my life around. It's different for everyone but there's no reason why you can't have as much success if you do your research and persevere. Good luck, make it happen, it's not beyond your control!

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Thanks.

As for my work, the last few years I have been doing e learning. I also have a background in web design.

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I’m trying to career change now, can’t seem to find a temp agency’s to take me on, my skills are behind on the office software so I have been taking online stuff if I can. I wish ADHD was treated without stimulants

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That sounds like it could be a good thing in the sense that you can be creative but if you've got a boss on your back and you have targets to meet I can see how that could be a problem!

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I just got put on Ritalin and it wrecked me in a day. Red all over and massive migraine. I looked up other treatments and didn’t know why we weren’t going those routes. Trying to find a coaching situation with organizing. I was so much better ten years ago. What is this drug, is it helping with cognitive?

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Which one do you mean? Ritalin?

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Is this a communication problem, perhaps? Was there a program manager (or equivalent) that you were able to tell about this issue? I know I've had issues like this pop up in my work (I'm currently a government contractor for DoD agencies) but I've had to make sure the right people understood what was happening.

In my line of work, software engineering & data science, there's a lot of introverts and people pleasers who I've seen get a bad rap because of their silence.

Forgive me if I'm preaching here- but in my 14 years as a professional, I've switched my career 3 times because I get bored solving the same problems day in and day out. I attribute this to my ADHD. The most recent switch was from a software engineer to data science, which was a very risky move for me. But the reality is, I love it and so I put in the time to get good at it (so much so that I even decided to go pursue a PhD in it). This is what works with my brain- I need to keep the "spice up" in order to be interested in things and go to work each day to kick ass.

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I just realized the reason why I’m not getting the jobs I always got before is that I’m bored beyond belief!! Hoping feeling inspired helps land a good job. No toxic work spaces! I’ve had too many lately. But I guess I had some lessons to learn. Who to trust....

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Would you be able to provide some more specific details about the situations you are experiencing? Are you getting fired from these jobs? Are they giving you any insight as to why you are getting let go?

When you say people don't like you, what are some specific instances that have led you to believe this?

I'm just trying to get more insight before I provide some opinions / suggestions.

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They let me go from my last job after three weeks because the work was not getting done. I was creating an elearning module. However, the gave me this very complicated document that consisted of over 30 pages, and I was not trained in this area. I was just a temp. So they let me go. I knew it was coming and even thought about leaving the night before.

The job before that was a government job. It went kind of well for the most part. However, there were a few individuals who made working there a bit of a challenge at times. I wonder if it had to do with racial differences. I was treated disrespectfully by these two people sometimes. One person astrosized me sometimes too. It was very unpleasant.

However, there is one key I think is worth thinking about. When I am treated badly in the workplace I feel it comes from me looking intimidated by the other person. So they see it and treat me accordingly. However, this feeling of being intimidated is a direct link to my childhood with how my father treated me. I really think this is true. I am tempted to dismiss this notion as nothing more than self indulgent self pity. But I don't think it is. I never learned to compensate for that neural pathway that was developed from childhood. I could have learned to act confident to. I guess creating a new neural pathway is in order.

Back to my last job. I was there for 2.5 years. I was supposed to become permanent. But they let me go for no reason right before the probation period was up. No reason was given.

Before that, I was let go from job after job... bosses didn't like me.... bosses felt I wasn't working fast enough... One boss even accused me of lying about the work I did before I got the job because I was not capable of the work he gave me... This was totally not true! I DID THE WORK he accused me of NOT DOING before he hired me. But because of my PROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR he didn't believe I was capable of that work...

Enough of my rambling. I hope I made it a little clearer.

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One more drawback I have at my jobs.

Although I can do good work, I am slow at times...

But most damaging is my frustration. When I get stuck on a project I really get stuck. And I really show my frustrations. And after that happens I come across as totally incompetent... which isn't necessarily the case. It's a case of perception is reality. The person sees that frustration I am going through so they think I am incompetent....

Depression is also a significant factor of my personality that rears its ugly head in my career as well.

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People don't like me at work knowhow you feel

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Now I am starting to fear working again. I'm afraid I will fail again.

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You can try to learn social skills. It helped me.

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But I think my social skills are pretty good until I get frustrated and show it.

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