I’ve been thru 19 jobs in 6 years and almost moved on to the 20th today due to same old situations that cause me to loose control and express myself in ways that have caused me to quit or be terminated. With my adhd I can see right thru these clowns and when situations arise that put me in confrontations brought on by others that cut corners and try to throw me under the bus and i know I’ve covered all my bases I go into the red zone and have an extremely hard time letting it go, I feel I need to let them know there not getting over on me and that I need them know not to f@&$ with me when I know I’ve thought the process thru. Any ideas on letting the rage go when put in these situations?
Stupidity on the job: I’ve been thru 1... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
CHADD's Adult ADHD Support
I tended bar for 10 years and worked with people who didn’t care about there work ethic and it pissed me off too. I ran circles around them. They were lazy and didn’t care. It never changed and confronting them made me unliked, I didn’t fit in with them and thank god, we better then them. So, what kind of work do you do? I finally got out the craft beer business and went to Costco for a seasonal job and I’m now driving uber/Lyft. Costco was great well organized everyone worked hard and did there job. Lyft/uber is great because I’m in control of my business. I’m sorry I don’t have anything that you could say to them, I was never good at that, when I needed help with dealing with a difficult coworker I went to my brother or a friend who was really good at communication and I would literally write down what they would tell me to say like a script and when I did that I always got good results. But I will say I’m thankful I finally moved on from that career, I was never going to go anywhere, the money was nice but I wasn’t happy because the people I had to spend 36 hours a week with I didn’t care for. Maybe you need to find a different kind of job
I was in the beer industry as well, it challenged me for 16 years and also supplied my self medicating phase. After I was laid off I was forced to look for new jobs and it appears I adjust my reaction to the dumbness depending on how cheesy the job is and don’t care about the outcome but it puts me in financial stress and also more stress on the family.
I agree with lovinit. Finding a job that better suits your qualities, could help your confrontation battles. With any confrontation, knowing the consequences of letting your rage consume you should be your insight. You are aware of what you are doing and want to change, that is a good first step. I am an avid supporter of therapy, as I do not have any support for guidance. If this is available to you, please try it. Understanding your self and how to change your reaction to things you cannot change, will help your job situation. Rage is an emotion, that you can learn to control. You cannot change other people, you can be the example and know your self worth. If your work history is keeping you from living the life you desire, keep searching for ways to understand your emotions and how to control them. There are a lot of self help books and sites on the internet. When I don't have anyone to look to for guidance, I look for knowledge in books or on the internet. Good luck and keep your heap up!
I agree with all that has been said - just to add; Remember to be Emotionally Intelligent (this depends on you and not others); don't compromise with unfairness and injustice (it goes against you); and find a new career (first) and then a job (secondly) - the only problem is - why are the suitable careers/ jobs for ADHD's not as good paying as the jobs where all others who do not have a sense of fairness and justice work? Can someone help identify any good paying jobs (at least similar to what we used to get before listening to ADHD)!
Hey, ViciousCircle. First, you could take the "Vicious" out of your name Maybe to "RoundandRoundIGo"? Just trying to lighten the mood!
There is a solution and it truly works. I'm not a religious person, but I do have an awesome spiritual relationship with my Higher Power. So remember, we are going to be fine! Here's the answer:
I faced the same situation for 20 years at the same job. I worked w/backstabbing bitches! However; I am in the program of AA & there's a place in AA's Big Book that throws it down...
"If you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it everyday for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate, understanding and love.''
It works for me every single time. You can feel anger AND compassion at the exact same time. God knows I detested a couple of the women, but I kept praying every morning for them because I was absolutely obsessed with anger and feelings of rage towards them.
So, even if you don't believe it will work for you, why not give it a try? You might have to do some deep breathing or journaling at first rage, but if you get to keep your job it may be worth it.
I hope & pray that you find the compassion you need to have while dealing with your coworkers or anybody else for that matter! Remember, if you have issues, can you imagine what the story is with your coworkers? My guess is they grew up with "Family problems". They are sick, just like us & we deserve compassion.
Love & hugs to you "Vicious".
Colleen ("I'm a kook")
Those are great words and I appreciate the feedback and glad you found some comfort especially at work, my problem is I can’t follow through with anything including trying to better myself because I get bored or tired of the constant effort it takes and revert back to my comfort zone and the rush of being angry and reactive to anything that messes with my zone. The only thing that I continue to be consistent with and helps the most is the cardio exercise because I have a lot of the hyperactivity. I really need to find a job I’m interested in but there hard to come across and have settled just to pay the bills.
I get it, I do have to say that after 20 yrs on the job I had a very serious back operation last October & now I'm on disability. Shortly before the surgery but after being diagnosed with ADHD, I was having severe problems with my manager & supervisor. I was being micro-managed worse than ever even once they knew about my ADHD. They really walked the line between shitty/intolerant behavior & staying within guidelines for maltreatment.
With all my mental issues (depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD tendencies & history of psychoses in my family), I found myself ready to tell them to shove the job. It's a good paying job so I white-knuckled it until I went out for surgery on short term disability....then long term and I nebver went back.
It's been a struggle, but I'm 61 & me and the hubby have been working towards retirement.
I can see why people go "postal", but seriously....there is NO situation that is worth taking a life or ending your own. Reach out, people! Just like you've done, my friend. I hope it helped you, but it DAMN WELL helped me. Thanks for posting.
Once I got in that horrible state I saw a psychiatrist & have been going to a therapist ever since! I was direly in need of medication for both ADHD & severe Depression.
It's taken me 60 years to get here; it'll take a good long time before I'm a new me!
One correction on my lengthy post. The 5th paragraph should read, "You can't feel anger AND compassion at the exact same time. (Not "You Can feel...").
Makes a big difference in the context
Hi Every one. One or two of you would have already seen this but for everyone who has been talking about jobs. If any of you know anything about coding or programming then checkout a website called skillcrush @ skillcrush.com. For all the males who do take a look. Just so you are aware, The Founders vision is to help as many females into tech as possible BUT their curriculum is to help EVERYONE ‘Male and Female’. If anyone is like me, reading is not a strong point and can becoming jolly frustrating. Well, the skill crush team have these step by step structured courses for everything...apparently.
Also. I have just started reading a book. Now this is a new concept for me. Usually reading lasts oh, say half an hour!! Well, so far this book has been very good. It has ‘The International Bestseller’ at the top and the title is ‘You Were Not Born To Suffer” by ‘Blake D Bauer’. Also: on the front cover within a yellow circle it has ‘Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Depression and Love Yourself Back to Happiness, Confidence and Peace’. This guy also went through deep depression. a rough family upbringing and one or two other things. Its worth a read.
I almost thought I wrote your question. I have the same issues. I have started seeing a doctor who specializes in treating adults with ADHD. my doctor prescribes my meds and is also a psych doctor so we talk about those issues and how to better deal with them. It's an on going process. I also read books on ADHD. I have read a few books that address this topic which has helped me understand how to better interact with people and not let my negative thoughts affect me or cause me to react in a way that will get me in trouble again.
I have also been looking into getting and ADHD coach, to help me with these issues and improve my productivity amd organization, and learn ways to reduce procrastination....
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