I just identified something that I need to change, but I don't know where to start.

[Murgatron]

Back in 6th grade, my teacher would let us start our math homework in class, then we were supposed to take it home and finish it. I would take it home and forget that it existed. The next day I wouldn't even turn in my half-finished assignment. I knew that getting a 40-50% was better than getting a zero, but I would rather get the zero than face getting a paper back with an F on it.

I noticed that I get into a similar trap with work. I have a job on campus doing illustrations for the online learning department. I'm good enough at art, but I'm not as fast as I think I should be, and I usually underestimate the time it will take for me to get things done. Perfectionist tendencies make it worse.

Since it's a student position the hours are flexible. I don't have to be there at a particular time, but usually the illustrations have deadlines of some kind. But if I'm behind on a project, I struggle to get to work. I know that avoiding work will only make the problem worse, but there is a part of my brain that REALLY fights me on this. I missed one of my deadlines last week.

My boss is pretty understanding. He knows I have ADHD, and he has a daughter with it. Even knowing all of that, I am sitting here trying to debate my brain into going to work and talking to him and I feel like I'm losing the argument.

Does anyone else have a similar problem? Any suggestions on what to do when you're gut reaction will not listen to sense?

[joncol391]

I find myself spending a lot of time going over the same area of a painting or something. Make an adjustment, find it to be not right, do it over, and over, then realized I haven't made a whole lot of progress and it can kill the motivation.

Every now and again I'll try to do some figures or whatever with the intention of getting my forms done as fast as possible. Sometimes its nice to let loose and being ok with keeping it moving. Sometimes I get even better results than if I had gone with the perfectionist route. Plus it's less daunting and more likely to not be another unfinished piece. Of which I have many.

It's good that you have a boss with an understanding of what you are dealing with. I think there's a lot of people, including myself at one point, that are not aware or simply don't believe there's Adhd. To this day I haven't done much to tell employers about it because I didn't think I'd be taken seriously.

I wouldn't know what your artistic process is like but I'd like to say it can be rewarding to try a new art technique. A sushi chef I learned under, seeing my frustration with being slow at first, told me "The beginning never good. First make nice, then make better."

It's nothing mind blowing but it's a good sort of reminder.

[Leo1865 in reply to joncol391]

This so strange, I was going to pick up my meds today and I was talking to myself, which I do quite frequently. Anyway I was talking about how it takes me longer to do something to begin with, but once I know how to do it I get faster and it gets better. The problem is that at my job they want you to be fast, period. But I really struggle with figuring out what I'm doing. I can look at a project and it's like I'm looking into space. Part of my problem is to that I'm a perfectionist. I don't like to finish doing something until it's done right, unfortunately my perception of being done right is not the same. I am trying so hard not to be like that, but it is so hard to a crummy job, if that make sense.

My youngest son is ADAD, when he was tested, he tested off the charts. He would do his homework and forget to turn it in, even though he finish it, getting it to his teacher wasn't happening. I was told it is very common that people with ADHD to forget to turn in papers because in their mind, it's finished. Or they take tests and forget to turn it in, they just move on to the next thing floating around in their head.

[cjnolet]

I struggle with this even at my day job. Also struggled with this all throughout grade school (college was easy because I was interested in he material).

For me it was my hyperfocus. At any given time I’ve got 2 or 3 things I’m totally engrossed in in my life, usually for periods ranging 6 months to a year. Recently I came off of a Ben Franklin fascination and that’s about all I talked about for 8 months.

So when I get in situations like you are in, I’ve learned / adapted to making my work more interesting or stimulating so that I will almost force my hyperfocus on it. I’m not an illustrator but I do compose music and when I would into road blocks with my inspiration or focus on my music, I would find that I’d need more stumulation. For me that would mean pushing the envelope just a little further- learning some new technique or finding some new instrument/sound.

I think this is why people with adhd end up becoming so successful in things they llove. Anyways, that’s my two cents.

[2xasnice]

Hi Murgatron, I’m not an illustrator but like many people with ADHD my hobbies or outlets tend to be either some form of art or craftsmanship. I usually research the hell out of a topic before I have enough ambition to dive into it. Does your job allow you to pick through projects? Once I start a project I want to see it finished so it will consume all of my spare time until I have done so. I agree with cjnolet about always being excited to try new things. I feel like the saying “jack of all trades” describes me perfectly. I also look to past projects for inspiration. Maybe some of your incomplete projects could help with work.