I am 23 years old, female and was diagnosed with ADHD about one year ago by my family doctor.
I personally sought out a diagnosis after several years of severe depression, anxiety and dropping out of college twice (and a slew of other symptomes which caused unsurmountable shame and withdrawal).
I became convinced that I was suffering from ADHD.
I was relieved to have put a name to all the inexplicable feelings I had but now, a year later, I am faced with the truth that knowing I have this disorder does not change my behaviour.
I am presently in a four year relationship and my partner has been dealing with my emotional outbursts since day one.
He is so patient but I can only imagine the loneliness and frustration he feels through my unpredictable mood fluctuations, my failure to make our relationship a priority in my life and my general lack of enthusiasm toward life.
Now that I write this out, I suppose that is my main worry at the moment.
I am torn between trying to "get better" and being an equal partner in our relationship.
I have an impossible time expressing my feelings to him and this creates distance and misunderstanding.
Every time I think I've got it right, I slip up and am back to square one.
He knows that I try but trying doesn't mean anything without results and that prospect scares me.
I feel I've gotten off track but if anyone can relate to what I've tried to explain, I would absolutely love to hear from you.
I feel like all of this is due to my intense carachter flaws and I desperately need perspective.
I find it incredibly difficult to accept my ADHD without feeling completely helpless.