10yr old old talking to himself

[Willowbee37]

my 10yr old will quietly talk to himself in school/ not all the time and usually when he’s nervous or just flat out bored. What I gather is he isn’t being disruptive he’s just quietly talking or make mouth movements. His teacher started calling him out on it in front of the classroom “Wyatt what are you talking about, maybe you can share with the whole class!?” And he’s mortified. I think he’s just stimming and it’s not disruptive so why purposely embarrasses him? His teacher is very old school and I’m wondering if this warrants a discussion with her? Or my son? Thoughts????

[SurvivorFan]

I would absolutely have a meeting with the teacher. Tone can be taken out of context with email in a situation like this so best to meet face to face. Is your son on an IEP? If so, request a meeting with his team plus teacher so she can understand your kiddos difficulties and hopefully have some empathy. Or, you could reach out to his team lead if he has one and you have a good relationship. Maybe they could have a chat with the teacher.

Since my son was in kinder, I have sent an email to his new teacher for the year. I detail all of his strengths and the things he struggles with, what certain behavior can mean if they see it, how to help him, and always ask for them to please have a kind heart for him. That he is a good kid who will have great days, good days, and some real hard days but wants to do and be good. I also let them know I am here to help them and it takes a team for best success It has really helped us start out the year with understanding and it lets the teacher know how much you are involved.

[Willowbee37 in reply to SurvivorFan]

His teacher this year has been mostly useless. She’s older and doesn’t seem to care about ADHD and how it affects his behavior/learning. The special Ed teacher is great and gets it so she’s usually the middle man. He’s got a 504 but it’s also kind of useless. As you can tell, I’m frustrated!

[SurvivorFan in reply to Willowbee37]

That would definitely be frustrating. If you think his 504 is useless or not enough for what he needs, could you request a meeting to get it updated? You could come to the meeting with a plan of what you want written into it so you feel satisfied with it? We had a teacher last year who was not mean but was not good with communicating with us. I am an introvert, so having to push myself out of my comfort zone to advocate for my son has not been easy but totally necessary!

[Willowbee37 in reply to SurvivorFan]

I feel like I look at the work he brings home and he seems lost. I hear things that happen in class that warrants a convo then go in and it’s “oh, everything is fine” and I’m confused. I think his teacher this year kinda scares me lol so I’ve been a little quiet and just trying to let the teagg ch er do her job. She never reaches out to me with any issues so not sure where the issue lies.

[SurvivorFan in reply to Willowbee37]

I hear you. My son's 1st grade teacher also scared me lol. She was a college softball coach who was very direct. She would say things like "his classmates will forgive him now but come third grade they won't." I just kept pushing the yep, I understand some of the behaviors are challenging, this is where its coming from, this is what we are doing, and how can we help each other help him be successful. I think if your son seems truly bothered by her comments, its affecting his confidence, or your gut is telling you to be concerned about what he is telling you is going on in the classroom, then you should reach out to her. If she says "oh its fine, then you can have a list of the reasons you think its not fine, things you have heard that concern you, and how it is effecting him, etc." Better to get on top of it now if the things he is saying to you could effect his relationships with his peers. If its academic things that are concerning, again I would push to have him get help now. I was so concerned that my son being pulled for reading comp. help would put a huge target on his back. After volunteering a few times at the school, I realized there are so many kids being pulled for different specials, that its really not a big deal to the general classroom vibe.