10yr old vocal stim issues

[Willowbee37]

my 10yr old son who has ADHD will quietly talk to himself in school/ not all the time and usually when he’s nervous or just flat out bored. What I gather is he isn’t being disruptive he’s just quietly talking or make mouth movements. His teacher started calling him out on it in front of the classroom “Wyatt what are you talking about, maybe you can share with the whole class!?” And he’s mortified. I think he’s just stimming and it’s not disruptive so why purposely embarrasses him? His teacher is very old school and I’m wondering if this warrants a discussion with her? Or my son? Thoughts???? Help.

[amjohnson3]

Hi - I haven't dealt with this specific issue, but as a former teacher and a parent of a 6 year old ADHDer, I think you absolutely should talk to the teacher. If she's already aware of his diagnosis, then she either doesn't understand what it means or she's being deliberately cruel. If your son doesn't have a 504, getting one in place that might help add some guardrails so that if the teacher continues to call him out for nondisruptive behavior, you might have some official recourse. And paper trails are always good to have. If she understands the self-talk (which my kid does too) as symptom of the ADHD, you might ask her what she's hoping to achieve by calling him out. Not sarcastically, though that's tempting, but seriously. If he's not being disruptive, who cares. If he is being disruptive, calling him out isn't going to magically enable him to stop the behavior. You need to help the teacher figure out what the three of you can do so that your son can be himself and the class can proceed. If she's not willing to do that, or not willing to acknowledge that the talking is part of his ADHD, then you need to start moving up the food chain. Good luck!

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for the message to the group. I strongly encourage all parents who have children with any unique needs to have a meeting with the teacher each year. This is a great way to discuss (with or without a 504/IEP plan) your child's strengths and areas of need.

I will say once in front of the teacher, I learned there are 2 sides to each story and both sides need to be heard.

Our son had many stories and once in front of the teacher he felt much better to hear what the teacher was meaning or saying which is a side our son didn't always see.

Teaching is a hard job AND being a child with ADHD with unique needs is also hard. Itt is important for children to cared about by their teacher.

Hope you get things worked out.

[Fudgel]

sadly, in my experience, the ‘old school’ teachers, and particularly the ones that are proud of that, have no interest in listening or making any allowance for difference in the classroom.

Makes you wonder why they don’t just get a different job, if they can’t bring themselves to care about the kids. Grr.

Also makes you really truly appreciate the ones who ‘get it’

Absolutely worth going in and talking about it anyway, ofc. Sincerely hope you get a good response.

[Willowbee37 in reply to Fudgel]

Yep, totally agree!

[2ADHDkids in reply to Fudgel]

100% agree as well. Definitely talk to the teacher. Definitely look into a 504. And prepare yourself for exactly that what Fudgel said -- a potentially aggravating and ineffective conversation with a teacher that has no interest in listening or making allowances because his/her way is the right way. And don't be surprised if she makes you feel like your kid is the problem.

My daughter had one of those teachers in 3rd grade and it significantly affected her confidence. It took my husband I two minutes of conversing with this teacher to understand exactly why our daughter disliked her and, therefore, hated school that year. The teacher was abrasive and inflexible. Her reputation was that of being "strict" and "old-school." There's a different between strict and publicly humiliating students. There's also a reason why "old-school" is old: we now know better and have new, theoretically evidence-based approaches to teach and treat students. Old = Regressive