hello

[zinamiky]

hello guys, I'm from Ethiopia n sorry for my English in advance. i have a daughter who i might suspect have ADHD. n i think she get that from me. my problem is there are no medications or diagnosis centers in my country for ADHD. so any tips on how to live with ADHD with out meds would help me to improve our lifestyle. thank you n glad that i found this site

[Lool8]

Hello, I suggest to take some parenting classes. How old is your child?

[zinamiky in reply to Lool8]

she is five years old. there is no such thing as parenting classes here in Ethiopia.

[Lool8 in reply to zinamiky]

On the website you have some courses and I suggest also Triple P is online.This is the website to cope some strategies with children :

triplep-parenting.com/us/pa...

I hope that help ! Take care about yourself also it's so important. To be calm and confident.

[zinamiky in reply to Lool8]

okay thank you dear. you're so helpful

[MyDogAteMyRitalin]

Hi Zinamiky,

Thank you for joining this forum and reaching out. There are parent training courses online you could take that might help you set up an environment where your daughter can succeed. Some things that have helped in our home are to set up a lot of structure for our son. Schedules so he know what to expect, rules that are simple and easy to follow, and reward systems to incentivize good behavior. Punishing him does not work. We try to “catch him being good.” It takes a lot of forethought and work to set up structure, and we have to adjust it as he gets older, but we have found that it makes the house more peaceful and sets him up for success.

[zinamiky in reply to MyDogAteMyRitalin]

thank you so much. the most difficult thing for me is she is so sensitive. you can't say no to her without hurting her feelings. i understand her but the community we live doesn't understand her. they think that i spoiled her or something. it breaks my heart watching her crying over minor things.

[Uptowngirl12121 in reply to zinamiky]

Hi, I can relate. In our social/ethnic community unless you share to everyone your child's personal medical business there is not a lot of upfront understanding. They assume you are not parenting they way you should. We learned how to do child driven interactions where we spend playtime everyday letting our child (he was 5 then) control the play. We did whatever, however and whatever he said to do. Then we would switch to parent driven interations where we would ask certain commands - Billy, hand me the toy. Over time his ability to accept directives from us became second nature. I admit - it was diificult to set time aside every day to repeat these actions. It sounds crazy but finally we reached the moment where we could give directives and commands that were well received. It did not happen overnight and there were many many different levels of acceptance that our son had to learn over time.

[zinamiky in reply to Uptowngirl12121]

thank you for your understanding dear. it means a lot. i will try my best to give my daughter a better life than mine. i will try to be consistent

[2ADHDkids in reply to zinamiky]

I feel for you and your daughter. My daughter is the similarly sensitive...with no, and with correction...even when most would not find something offensive, she feels hurt. We live in the US and I know my sister-in-law thinks our daugthers' challenges are the result of bad parenting. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you.

Knowing what I know now about ADHD, I understand that my father has it. As a child, in rural Romania in the 1960s, his childhood was so painful because there was no education or resources. Your daughter will have a better life because she has you and you understand. Validating her and giving her a safe space to feel is the first step. Tell her you believe her when she's upset, when things don't feel good.

Also, I found it very helpful to learn a name for the sensitivity my daughter has: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Learning about this symptom of ADHD is what led me to be diagnosed a little over a year ago. When I learned about RSD, the self-doubt I experienced my whole life was explained to me. This is one of the more informative pieces I've read on it: apa.org/monitor/2024/04/adh...

[zinamiky in reply to 2ADHDkids]

oww you don't know how relieved i am to know that so many people r out there who understands my situation. every body around me thinks that i am over reacted when it comes to my daughter. they told me i think this way because i only have one child. but i know my baby girl needs my attention. i know she is not spoiled. i know she is the best. she just needs my attention because she knows I'm her safe zone. i will continue reading abt ADHD as much as i can to help my baby. again thank you for your understanding

[2ADHDkids in reply to zinamiky]

You are not alone. Just far away.

I highly recommend ADHD 2.0 by Dr. Hallowell. It is a great place to start to understand so much about ADHD. It may guide you in ways you can make changes on your own that will help your daughter. You seem very intuitive to her needs. I bet you can make positive changes using what you learn and your own instincts, even without the resources we have in the US.

Believe in yourself and your daughter. You can do this.

[zinamiky in reply to 2ADHDkids]

okay dear. you guys r kind. thank you very much

[Elijah1]

Look at the resources offered on chadd.org.

[zinamiky in reply to Elijah1]

okay thank you

[LisethHIS]

Hi, zinmiky,

Welcome to Healthunlocked! Parenting can be challenging, and it's important to learn about ADHD, it's also helpful for anyone involved in your daughter's daily routine to understand it better. Here are some resources that could be really useful: d393uh8gb46l22.cloudfront.n...

chadd.org/wp-content/upload...

triplep.net/glo-en/home/

chadd.org/for-parents/paren...

Remember is that you're doing the best you can! If there is anything else you need, please let me know.

Best,

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[zinamiky in reply to LisethHIS]

i will look into them. this is so helpful. thank you so much