What's the deal with gun fingers?

[Uptowngirl12121]

Good day everyone,

I hope nobody thinks I'm un-serious about the chats here and the topics. I love this community and I just have to ask what's the deal with gun fingers?

A few years back I fielded a call from a teacher complaining that my son did gun fingers at some of the other children. (Sadly, we didn't talk about the verbal and physical bullying that was happening to him at the time.) I notice here in chat that others have also mentioned when their child uses gun fingers it's a problem as well.

My child was 7 (and has an adhd diagnosis) at the time and I was so annoyed with the call that I started asking if the gun fingers were 'loaded', did the fingers go off accidentally, why didn't the metal detectors at school pick it up, were the fingers confiscated for safe-keeping? So, I just want to know what's the deal with gun fingers at school? What if he would've just given THE finger instead?

[Profenergeticcoyote]

my son asked his first grade teacher if the windows of the school were bullet proof and I got called in for a conference where this question was shared as well as a “concern” that my son would pick up sticks and pretend they were weapons at recess. I asked if they answered his very legitimate question about bullet proofing and they said they “redirected” him. I was highly annoyed and said that in a country with school shootings and the highest military spending per citizen in the world, it seems we should be frank with children about these sorts of questions.

The tendency to adultify children’s behavior is maddening to me. For any child but particularly for ours with ADHD. We ended up finding a different school for a number of reasons. Getting to the bottom of the behavior is important in addition to saying it’s not acceptable at school. I told my son it scares teachers and other kids to play in this way because of the very real and present threat of people with guns targeting schools.

And then I also ask how things are going. Who his top 5 friends are. Whether he is a top 5 for any of those kids. What games is he playing at recess. The thumbs up and the thumbs down times. My son was also bullied on the bus by a 5th grader when he was in 2nd grade. He was not quick to tell me.

The schools should be most concerned about nipping bullying in the bud… my sympathies with this situation

[Alt49 in reply to Profenergeticcoyote]

What kind of school did you find that works well? We are very unhappy with how my son is being treated at school but aren’t sure what setting will be best. It’s going significantly better in 1st grade vs KG because they have him half the time in a self contained for emotional regulation impairment so the general ed teachers don’t have to deal with him i.e. treat him as if he is a terrible kid

[Uptowngirl12121 in reply to Profenergeticcoyote]

Thanks for confirming this is a thing. Overall, I'm just not good with how the schools are dealing with "the lesson" that needs to given to the students. I think it should be more of a teachable moment as opposed to parental inquisition. They need to talk about bullying within the context of school shootings, the shootings themselves, reasons for guns, and things of that nature in a developmentally appropriate way. It's unhealthy that play is a threat or childish behavior is adult-ified.

[Mamamichl]

things that happen are like a pendulum. When something extreme happens, the response also goes extreme until it slowly calms down and we are able to find a happy medium.

As a teacher, I don’t always take it seriously, but I can see why colleagues do. This response is because of the school shootings. Even play can be seen as a threat. Most teachers don’t know that it’s a possible impulsive behavior, and that the kid could really be threatening to bring a real gun to school and shoot it at whomever they are shooting the finger gun at. They are taking no chances.

Teachers forget that there are good uses for guns too. Hunting is important. Another thought that some colleagues have is that if kids play with guns, the overexposure can make their response to a real gun exiting or just not respond to a real gun in a way they should. Many of the kids see guns as fun and play rather than the seriousness they should be. Again. The teachers are taking the extreme the opposite way and they worry that your kid isn’t taking guns as serious as they should.

Hope this clarifies your confusion.

Zen hugs 🫂

[Peerandparent]

Growing up, we played cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, that sort of thing... It was never something that would translate into real violence.

It's pretty normal for kids to be attracted to weapons. Until they have an appreciation for the very real consequences of weapons, they only see them as either toys or tools to use to protect people.

And honestly, the US has 120.5 guns owned per 100 people. Guns are a part of the culture, and shutting down any play or conversation about it is a quick route to an unhealthy relationship with firearms.