Any tips would be greatly appreciated

[Snkrmomma]

I'm seriously at a point where I feel as if I'm fighting depression. My husband and i have 3 neurodivergent children and our home has now turned chaotic. The kids constantly fight unless they're at school. We try our hardest to keep them active and "busy" so there's no time to fight or bicker but there's only so much i can do. Surely i cant be the only one that's experiencing this.

[BLC89]

Hello Snkrmomma,You are not the only one experiencing this. And you may well be depressed, may I suggest you talk to your doctor.

With 3 kids you have a lot on your plate. With 3 neuro- spicy kids you have a ton on your plate. Just acknowledging that can sometimes reduce the overwhelm.

ADHD is extremely heritable so you and/or your partner likely also have spicy wiring. Keep that in mind too when giving yourself credit for all to do.

Women are often diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression before it is discovered they have ADHD. Getting the ADHD understood and more under control generally alleviates the anxiety and depression.

As for the kids you may need to create a safe space in which they get to fight. Set rules, set a timer and let them just be for that time. Another idea, if it's an option, is to separate them so you can have a break. Again set a timer and enjoy that quiet time.

Because they are neuro-spicy they have a shorter fuse to anger or frustration so it is extremely difficult to have peace and calm for any extended period. Just the sound of chewing can set them off. Their tolerance for irritation is low, and the ability to hold back frustration is even lower. Then multiply that by 3 - that's a lot.

As best you can get them to exert themselves for 45+minutes a day. High cardio can be as effective as meds for many people.

Lastly give yourself a break and know you are dealing with a lot. You are doing the best you can. Hang in there.

BLC89