Keeping Child Back in Kindergarten

[Sunflower14722]

My child had ADHD and is in kindergarten. She has fallen behind with reading and writing. She is also emotionally behind her peers according to her teachers. They want to keep her in kindergarten another year so she can catch up with her reading. She has been seeing the reading specialist at school as a pull out a few times and week and I recently hired a private tutor to help her retain the information. During tutoring I have to stay near by her and hand her fidgets or tell her to focus because I can tell she is drifting off. The tutor told me she will most likely still be behind in reading by the beginning of next school year. I don't want her to be so far behind that she feels lost when she goes into first grade but I am also afraid that she may not retain the information being taught the same way/same curriculum for another year. Anyone have any experience holding their child back in kindergarten and did it help ? or anyone have any advice on this?

**Also, my daughter would end up being one of the oldest 7 years old in Kinder if we do hold her back.

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for your post. Many parents in the group have delt with this same issue. I am not sure it your child has an IEP, 504 plan or if your child has had assessments about her learning process. It will be important to really understand why she is behind before you make any decision.

Learning is a complex process and sometimes children with ADHD also have other learning disabilities. These could be struggles and it may not be a focus issue. Or the lack of focus could be causing her to miss information.

Have you also considered medication to help with her with focus and also have you considered therapy for her to help her be able to talk to someone about her struggles?

There are a number of old messages in the group about this same issue, if you search older messages you will find lots of discussion pro staying another year and cons about staying.

It will be very important going forward to really understand why she struggles. If you would like a school based assessment you write a letter and turn it into the special education department asking for an assessment. They will discuss all the areas that need to be assessed ( academic, social emotions,etc..) to get a clear picture of her struggles.

Know that we are always here to support you.

[SurvivorFan]

Yes, have you thought about trying medication? My oldest (now almost 9) could not sit to learn how to read or even write his name at 5 1/2 yrs old. He couldn't focus or sit still to do it. We started medication and within 3 months he could write all of his alphabet and was reading through level 2 books. He started kindergarten actually ahead of the "norm." My youngest (now 5 1/2) also has adhd. Less severe but still couldn't sit or focus for enough time to do all the phonics work. I tried for 5 months without meds and we both were frustrated! We put him on meds 3 months ago and it has helped a ton! He actually said to me a few weeks back "your the best mom ever. I can finally sit still!" 🤗

If your kiddo needed an inhaler or eye glasses you wouldn't not give it. This is no different! Maturity is not a reason in my opinion to hold her back. Especially with her being 7 going into kinder again. Kids with adhd are typically 2-3 yrs behind their peers in this area so it's just something that comes with the territory. If you started meds now, maybe she could make enough progress to show the school she is able, plus you would have all summer to work on it. The awesome thing about stimulants is it's out of your system quickly so if it doesn't work out, the most you "lose" is a day.

[Carolinepink]

Holding back was the best thing I ever did for my daughter, as long as it early! Before 3rd grade. You are lucky, we had to fight with our school to keep my laughter back- the districts don’t want to pay for a for the extra year. There are so many benefits to holding, in addition to the academic, as ADHD kids are generally younger emotionally- it really helps socially. We held back and tutored, together made a big impact.