I am new to the site and hoping to connect with a community of parents who are sharing the same struggle. We have been on a journey to find a therapist for our son who was formerly diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago. Over the last year we have seen my son's struggles go from mainly academic struggles to struggles with day to day tasks, which can often times cause conflict in the family dynamic. I am hoping to educate ourselves on the best ways to help my son, but also get my son direct help from a therapist who specializes in this area. That too has proven to be difficult. It is very disheartening and infuriating that our health care provider does not have the right therapy resources for us. They have referred us to an outside resource to obtain help but the therapists provided were either not taking new patients or were out of state and only offered virtual. I welcome any feedback or suggestions that you think will help our journey.
Thank you!
Written by
QueenieMom
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I cannot offer any answers or guidance, but only solidarity. I have been searching for a therapist to help my son for a year now, and much like your situation cannot find a single one in our insurance network who is taking new patients or will see someone his age (first grade). The state of our healthcare system and its inability/unwillingness to provide mental health services is a source of endless frustration.
I have found Tilt Parenting to be a wonderful resource for myself as a parent of a neurodivergent kiddo. Her book Differently Wired has parts that I feel as though I could have practically written myself, since she has lived it too. Again I know this isn’t helpful in your search for therapy for your child, but sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone. Hang in there!
I share your frustration as both a parent and a therapist. I specialize in ADHD and began to narrow my focus in to this area specifically because of our own struggles and the lack of support. I should say affordable support. Too many professionals who specialize in ADHD do not take insurance and charge ridiculous amounts. Camps and day camps that cost tens of thousands are not a realistic prospect for most parents. It’s shameful. And it shouldn’t be this way.
Executive function coaches are usually not licensed clinicians who can take insurance or even offer a super bill for reimbursement. Occupational therapy can sometimes help. And is a billable service.
If you tell me what state you are in I may be able to help through some networking. But yes, most of us are full and not taking new clients. Finding in person since the pandemic is another huge barrier.
I have received great feedback so far including yours and am so grateful. I live in California and welcome any information you think may be helpful. Thank you again for your support.
This is the BEST resource. Start here with the parent group and training modules. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parent training and medication. You will gain a wealth of knowledge and support from the ADHDdude, Ryan.
Welcome! For our son we didn't search for someone who had specialized skills in ADHD. What we needed was someone to develop skills to help him deal with his impulsive and inappropriate behavior. The therapist would listen and then describe the consequences to him. This was so important becuase he always blamed me for his negative behavior, this person shifted blanme back onto him.
Now we are past all that I believe he didn't really understand his actions have consequences when he was in elementary and middle school.
I can give you an example that applies now, even when he is older. He is 17 years old and got his driver license and is using an older car of ours.
He drives to fast!! I have told him this over and over.. slow down.. please slow down you drive to fast!! Well guess what?? Last week he got a speeding ticket. Now the real consequences are impacting him.
So for what we needed, I really needed help and happened to get a great therapist who stayed with us ( we were together every visit) for a long time.
I can also add, things didn't really fall into place until we had all 3 tools set up for him: medication, therapy and school plan.
lol up positive behavior intervention strategies (pbis). I work in education and his strategy works amazingly well for my sped kids and my own children.
Welcome! You’ve come to a great place. The community here freely offer so much support, knowledge and hope.
I'm a holistic nutritionist so we've taken a non-medication approach and have had a lot of success with my 10 yo son. He was dysregulated, irritable and explosive a year ago. His baseline is now happy, he's more flexible and more cooperative. I used Finally Focused by Dr. James Greenblatt as my guide. It turns out that kids with ADHD have a series of known nutritional deficiencies and if they aren’t corrected, behavior declines.
Of the supplements my son takes, nutritional lithium orotate made the biggest, most immediate difference in eliminating his explosions. The second biggest benefit for him was a high potency B vitamin and iron supplement (EnLyte). We started it because my son’s genetic testing indicated a mutation in the MTHFR gene , which makes it harder for him to use folate to make neurotransmitters. It’s a prescription and is a bit pricey but it’s completely shifted his baseline from irritable to happy. He still gets upset, sometimes very upset with video games, but he's able to calm down much more quickly and will later apologize which he never did before.
I’d be happy to share more details/info if you’re interested.
We live on the Monterey Peninsula- if you’re nearby I’m happy to share names of therapists.
Thank you for the great feedback. I am looking into anything that may help. My goal is to provide him tools that help him function independently and to do so confidently. I will research Finally Focused. Thank you again and appreciate your support.
I just had the issue , I would recommend that you check major hospital and see if they have programs for children’s and teens. Even try mental health facilities sometimes you need to be referred speak with a crisis worker at the hospital and they can provide resources.
I know when I first attempted to find help for my kids, the only availability was virtual. It's not perfect but it was a start. Have you given any thought to reconsidering virtual assistance?
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