My son was diagnosed with adhd last year and we have a 504 plan at school, that I don’t think his teacher is accommodating. With that being said, he is always in trouble for something.
She started sending him with behavior notes and most of it is getting up, not listening, not paying attention, talking, going to a friends desk or asking to use the bathroom after recess etc.
yesterday he received detention for climbing a fence( I reprimanded my son for this) than she added to his a detention that he kept saying “school sucks”. Today he got sent to the principals office because he was disrupting the class during a new lesson. I’ve voiced my suggestions to his teacher, asked her what of the accommodation she is implementing but no support. She won’t say and instead refers to “ we can discuss during a meeting with the vice principle “ which I requested and she never responded to until we spoke yesterday.
I am at my wits end. I know there is two sides to everything and I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt but idk how else to reprimand my son. I’ve taken things away, encouraged a reward system, no screen time, take a fidget. Idk if it’s because they aren’t implementing the 504 and this is the result.
I also want to add I have my son on adhd medication through a company called Brillia.
I need advice and encouragement please!
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Nebrat526
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I am so sorry you’re going through this. You sound very even-handed and accommodating in your approach with the school so I can understand your frustration in not getting your questions answered when you follow up on a behavior note. By the way—I hate those notes. I think I have slight ptsd from them myself!
A couple things, it’s really important for the school to look at the root cause of your son’s behavior (I.e., a functional behavioral assessment see pacer.org/parent/php/php-c2... If it is pure impulsivity, meeting with your son’s pediatrician or a psychiatrist to review conventional medication approaches may be the best way to go initially. Starting your child on a prescribed medication can be anxiety provoking, but it really can be like putting on glasses when you have trouble seeing. It can make a child’s life so much easier. On the other hand, kids with ADHD often need other supports or skill building. A 504 is good for ‘leveling the playing field’ through accommodations, but it doesn’t allow for skill-building—executive functioning skills, emotional regulation skills, communication skills, self-advocacy skills, learning challenges, etc. If your child is struggling because they lack these skills, you should push for an IEP evaluation so they can learn the skills they need to be successful, and not just accommodated. There is a great author called Jessica Minahan who wrote The Behavior Code. She goes into looking beyond the behavior to see what is driving it—often anxiety—and addressing the underlying causes.
No employee ever became a happier and more productive employee by being criticized by their boss. And what if the boss called the employees spouse every week and complained? No wonder your son is defiant and argumentative. He is always being corrected!
Hopefully medication will help him if he is impulsive, but if a behavior plan is needed it needs to be based on positive behavioral supports and skill instruction and not punishment.
Perhaps consider reaching out to your state’s parent resource center for help and advocacy. Find yours here: parentcenterhub.org/find-yo...
Sounds like he is being punished for his disability (e.g., "other health impairment" might be listed if it is ADHD in an IEP or 504 plan), which is not appropriate and would of course lead student to be unsuccessful and to dislike school. My son who has autism (lots of sensory processing and social communication issues) and ADHD is doing very well with the below accomodation areas and ADHD medicine (vyvanse - but medication works different by individual, of course). Student may also need vestibular input so seeks climbing or has other sensory needs (perhaps have an occupational therapist do an evaluation - this is very common in children with ADHD):
• Visual and supplemental classroom planning aids, including an agenda book
• Daily routines that change as little as possible or only with advance warning of routine changes
• Built in sensory and cognitive breaks throughout the day
• Clear starting and ending times for tasks, making available a timer or clearly visible clock as a visual aid to track time and duration of tasks
• Visual schedules, directions, class rules and expectations clearly posted in the classroom
• Quiet workspace to use when needed.
• Seat away from doors, windows, lights or busy noise.
• Have a chewable item (such as a mint) available.
• Let the student move as needed within an extended space boundary established around the workspace.
• Work with the student to come up with nonverbal signals to use when overwhelmed or in need of a break.
• Create a proactive behavior plan for handling sensory triggers.
• Give advance warning and verbal reminders of loud noises like bells, announcements, or planned fire alarms.
• Reduce the need for handwriting (for example, use fill-in-the-blank questions instead of short-answer questions).
• Allow extra time for writing to accommodate motor skills fatigue and trouble with managing proprioception or vestibular input.
• Provide one-on-one time with core subject teachers, building connections as much as possible, and allowing extended access to an identified, trusted point of contact when there are substitutes or changes in the teacher or IEP team
Thank you for taking the time to respond. All of the accommodations you’ve suggested are exactly what is listed and what he continues to get into trouble for. I will reiterate all this again to the teacher during the 2nd meeting.
I gave him some mints and it was taken away, I give him fidgets he uses but then decides on using a pen or something else and it gets taken away. He gets into trouble for asking to use the restroom or gets into trouble for not returning on time, for standing up out of his chair. I have reached out to his teacher and suggested so many things she can utilitize to help her and my son. I suggested that when she notices my son “spacing out” to let him take a quick 2 minute break but she has responded with he doesn’t do enough work to warrant a break.
So I finally stopped responding and suggested another meeting. I can only do so much on my end but if they refuse to meet me half way or blame my son for not going along with the accommodations is tiring. I know for a fact it isn’t being implemented because my son tells me and the teacher herself has stated it in email and when I asked how she is implanting the 504 she refuses to tell me.
My son also says his teacher isn’t explaining the lessons clear but when I teach him at home he’s understanding better how to do triple digit division? I don’t understand. If a teacher does not have the patience or willingness to understand her students then why become an elementary teacher ? Why teach 4th grade or any grade this young ? It’s frustrating at this point !
I assume it is just you and the teacher during the meeting?I recommend if it is a second meeting you have the person who manges the 504 at the meeting. You need a mediator there who can assist your son and that person should not be you..
It sounds like a solid plan, but just needs school support.
Most teachers are skilled in teaching general education students and not kids who have additional needs.
Why is she sending you behaviour notes for behaviours a kid with ADHD does ! The amount of disrupting etc that he does will depend upon the severity of his ADHD. Most behaviour plans do not work btw as these are behaviours he cannot help. Not sure what meds he is on as I am in the UK , do they not make any difference at all ? Is he just ADHD or does he have other issues running along side it for example, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Autism etc. Pick your battles wisely, there are way too many things to be on at him for, he is saying "school sucks" for him it probably does. Does he have a one to one support ? Sorry lots of questions just trying to get a bit of background.
I assume these notes are from his general education teacher, I assume she is competing him to our children who do not have ADHD. Clearly the Brilla I not helping him enough and it would be a good idea to work on both sides of this. First change what he is taking to help him. Second have a meeting with the person who manages his 504 plan and see what can be changed.
Until both are done it will continue to be frustrating for him and the teacher.
Consider a stimulant medication or.Non-stimulant to help decrease the symptoms of ADHD.
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