To try medication or not.

[Poppymum]

Hi, I’m the mum of an 8 year old girl who has just got an ADHD diagnosis ( combined type) today.

We live in the UK.

We have been told by the paediatrician today that it’s up to us whether or not to try medication. I’m not sure. I wouldn’t want her to change personality. She is different. It’s getting more noticeable! She doesn’t have inhibitions. She walks down a street singing ( even strings of words that don’t even make sense sometimes), she’d even sing and move loads in a communal shower at the swimming pool ( and get a few funny looks!) she has lots of energy obviously but is really happy and enthusiastic about life.

She’s the loudest in her girls football team. Her voice calling to the other players can be heard constantly!

We ( and friends and family members) have suspected our daughter has ADHD a while. It doesn’t cause huge issues though. We’ve just sort of got used to how she is. So we aren’t at our wits end.

Our daughter is behind at school. She’s at least 18 months behind and I guess the gap could widen. Thankfully school are great. She sits on a wobble cushion, the teacher goes to see her when she sends the children off to do their activity to get her to repeat what she has to do and check she has taken it onboard. My daughter otherwise wouldn’t say she didn’t understand she’d just plough through and do some work even if she’d missed the point!

sleep wise, she does sleep. We are lucky. We can’t just put her to bed though and she’ll sleep. We have to sit by her bed holding her hand. ( she used to like her foot held strangely!) and she will settle then. We’ve tried many times to just try to leave her to settle alone as we felt it was just our parenting, but it absolutely doesn’t work and a few minutes holding her hand isn’t a big issue. It settles her. So we do it.

Mealtime wise, we learnt a while ago that she’ll sit well on a swivel chair! Prior to that she kept getting up constantly. If she can move on her chair she does better. She eats well but needs lots of encouragement to keep eating as she’d choose to stop after a small amount through boredom rather than not liking the food!

I do worry as she gets older if she’s out alone about practical things like crossing roads. She wouldn’t always think to look. I find myself still holding her hand like a much younger child trying to teach her to look both ways. She’s focussed on where she’s going not what’s going on around her!

Car journeys are tough. She finds sitting in a car difficult. We resort to always having a device to watch as she’s not good at sitting with nothing to do. We will get shouting and kicking in the car if she has nothing to do.

Play wise, she’s great outdoors in parks, on her scooter, playing football, climbing trees etc. she’s not good entertaining herself indoors! We struggle to complete a family game. It ends up being myself, my husband and our older daughter playing and the younger one having enough after a few minutes! She gets bored quickly. She’s never been one to sit and play with toys. It’s upsetting that she’s had so many toys she’s just never played with. But She’ll manage if it’s sensory like cooking, play dough, paint, glue etc. She’ll also focus on computer games like minecraft!

what are peoples experiences of medication?

[Aspen797]

Your daughter sounds lovely! Our son was a self-talker for quite awhile, but the singing sounds sweet! The ADHD medication that children are first trialed on is usually a stimulant. Stimulants are fast but short acting. You can try a stimulant for just a day or two and compare it with a day or two without. If it’s a good fit, you should only notice less impulsivity and more focus, but no personality change. Stimulants can affect appetite, so you may need to schedule heartier meals around it. Many parents and children find stimulants helpful for lack of focus that interferes with school work and impulsivity that interferes with social relationships and safety. Wishing you the best!

[Aloysia]

No, the right medication will not change her personality. If you notice a personality change (depression, etc.) then immediately stop that medication and after a few days try another one.

Regarding car travel, here are some things to try:

- something sensory for her to do (crochet, cats cradle, coloring books, thinking putty, etc)

- something to get her interacting (have her make up stories about the people and things she sees, play 20 questions, car bingo, teach her the rules of the road and have her tell you when she spots people breaking the rules, etc)

- listen to music on her own ear phones

- read a book

- etc

You may need to phase these things in. For example, 5 min of something above and then screen time; after a week then 10 min prior to screen time, etc.

You might also want to play some games where she needs to be quiet for x amount of time and games where she whispers. So that she learns these skills. One way to practice these are to go somewhere in nature and try to be quiet so you can see and hear critters without frightening them. Rewards can help.

Also, if she is that far behind in school, you might want to have her tested for learning disabilities. These are often (but not always) found in conjunction with ADHD. The earlier you find out, the easier it is to get her help.

Best wishes!

[Rosey7676]

ADHD isn’t a choice. As an 8 year old, your daughter can’t yet compensate independently for the challenges that ADHD presents. I am 100% pro medication. ADHD causes an imbalance in the brain. Think of it medically. Would you hesitate to medicate if your child had Chrohns or Diabetes? Yes, I know those are life or death diseases. But the impulse control or lack there of can present serious challenges, like driving a car one day… Do your research, educate yourself about the meds and keep in mind the first one you try may or may not work. Not medicating precipitates the stigma around mental health. I’d hate to see her begin to lose confidence in herself for something she can’t quite yet control.

[Brazilianmom]

Hi there

I went through the same debate . My son was diagnosed with combined ADHD last year . 1sr grade was a nightmare . We tried many interventions , like behavior therapy , modifying school activities . His lack of inhibition was making him get in trouble for silly things all the time . It was seriously affecting his relationship with hai peers . I wasn’t comfortable stating medication with his pediatrician and had the same similar fears as you . After 9 months waiting we were able to be seeing by a child development specialist . After a lot of consideration we opted in to give him some pharmacological help . After a few trials and erros we have landed on a dose /med that is helping him so much . He is still himself , goofy , silly , happy kiddo. I am so glad that we made this decision . 2nd grade has been so good . I attribute not jut to the meds but a good teacher, a bit of learning on our part and a lot of hard work by him .

We did a parenting class through the ADHD clinic and was such a blessing for us to understand him better

His doctor told him something that stuck with me . She said , your brain in like a Ferrari but with bicycle breaks . We are just helping you to get better breaks !

[Knitting20projects]

Has your pediatrician discussed considering more comprehensive testing? That is pretty significant impairment you are describing from hyperactivity, inattention, and requiring stimulation even to make it through a meal. For an 8 year old to have such significant symptoms, I would really consider additional evaluation. That’s pretty significant ADHD. I would absolutely be trying medication given her level of symptoms. I’m wondering if perhaps you are so accustomed to her symptoms that you don’t necessarily see the difference between her level of functioning and the typical 8 year old. Please know I am saying this from a place of kindness and compassion and wanting your lovely daughter to feel as successful as she can. Both my kids have significant ADHD and both have autism (different levels of severity). My daughter has an intellectual disability and dyspraxia. I would actually see if she improves significantly academically on medication. If not, I would definitely push for a comprehensive psychological/educational testing evaluation (IQ, learning disabilities, executive functioning skills). I hope this is useful and isn’t too hard to hear.