Hi everyone. I just joined this community because as my son grows I am finding it more difficult to cope with his severe ADHD. He is turning 6 in December, and I am finding myself expecting him to be able to do things that six year olds should be able to do. Even though I see his ADHD struggles, it's just so hard that after six years he still doesn't know the morning routine. We do the same thing every morning, in the same sequence, and some days he does well but most days he seems like he's at a standstill. Especially with the getting dressed. Clothing is a big issue for him and he wears a school uniform so there isn't a lot of wiggle room there. And getting dressed seems to be incredibly difficult. I have two questions really.
1. What should I expect from my son at this age with severe ADHD (currently on medication) as far as getting himself ready in the mornings for school? And how can I encourage him to focus on the task at hand (instead of any other stimuli he happens to find in his room like a coat hanger or blanket lol)?
2. He is on Ritalin, which when kicks in works pretty good. It seems to work better though if I give it to him before breakfast. But if I do that then his stomach starts to hurt pretty bad. I've switched to after breakfast but then it seems as though it's much less effective. Any advice on the best way to give him his medication to limit side effects but still give him a chance of having it work it's strongest?
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MomofADHDBoy6
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I had to think about this one because sometimes he needs me to tell him what to do. But I’ve been observing him the last few days I would say he likes to be in control for sure. Does that make a difference on how I approach the mornings?
Sounds familiar. I changed my expectations from what's normal to what I was being shown; some mornings I had a 3 year old, some I had a 5 year old. Could OT help?
You could try giving it with something small, like a yogurt pouch or piece of cheese, and then have him eat a regular breakfast.
100% feel your pain. I struggle with my 8 year old son every morning. I have two other kiddos to get ready also, so I can’t completely focus on him, I need him to do some things independently. One thing that has helped lately is when my husband leaves for work (pretty early) he wakes up my son and encourages him to brush, get dressed and eat breakfast. This works in two ways: first my son gets the one-on-one attention he needs and second my husband rewards him with some screen time on his tablet when tasks are complete. We are not always able to do this because some days my husband leaves too early to wake up our son, but I’ll take the little wins where I can. Best of luck to you!!
Stimulant meds should be taken with food. Many people get ulcers from doing that. It seems to work better because it goes straight to his bloodstream, but there are definitely consequences doing it.
As for the morning routine, try getting a visual morning routine (image and name of each task). He can either check them off or if you use Velcro, you can have him pull them off as he does them. Another accommodation you can do is have him pick out his outfits either for the week, or at least the night before. Some kids even have to put their dayclothes for the next day the night before.
My son is 12 and we have struggles every morning and have since he was five. When he was your sons age we had a morning list that helped. It listed all the things he had to do in order from brushing his teeth to putting on his shoes. Now he just fights me all morning. Why am I waking him up? Why won’t I let him sleep? Every day the same questions and the same answer, we have to go to school and work. It’s exhausting and he gets angry and often stalls out (I find him on his laptop or snuggling an animal on the lanai with no shoes, no socks, not nearly ready). Sometimes incentives work: if you get up and get completely ready on your own tomorrow, by X time, you will get Y reward. The only real solution I have found is to give him his medicine before he wakes up and now that he’s switched to one that doesn’t upset his stomach (Azstarys) It’s a lot easier to do that. Good luck.
there is also an overnight med called Journay. They take it the night before and it’s in their system already when they wake up. We tried this and it didn’t work well for us but it’s supposed to be very popular although it’s also very expensive. Issue we had is that I lost all the meds suppresses appetite, so if he had his meds in him when he woke up, he wouldn’t eat. As I said above tho the one he’s on now has been great, it has been highly recommended by his pediatrician, who also has ADHD, and takes the same med. It’s newer and it’s been fantastic, very few side effects. Azstarys.
Hello! I know it can be tough in the mornings. Our favorite morning trick is to have my son get dressed in his school clothes before he goes to bed at night. He is 14 and has been doing this for 10 years. Saves a huge amount of time and struggle! I’m not sure if it would work for you but want to throw it out there.
This idea is brilliant! Thank you so much! I believe we will try and implement this to see if it helps. He had another rough morning with the clothes, so if we put them on before bed he can get all his ickys out and by morning he can be ready to go. And not have to worry about the 30 minutes it takes for him to put his pants on. lol. Thank you again. Great idea!
I feel you. My son is 9 and he can barely get dressed in the morning. He's super picky about clothes and hates all tags (we cut them out or buy tagless). We just make sure we get up early and give him enough time to wake up. Yes, I sometimes help dress him and you know what, it's ok. You gotta do what you gotta do. Hang in there!
Hi-many morning we still help our son get dressed by - at the very least - putting out all of his clothes in the right order for him. I decided that if it helps our family - which it does - then I will just do it for the sake of a peaceful morning.
Our son will be seven years old tomorrow.
I’ve heard that you subtract 4O% off of the age of your child’s executive functioning. Six would be more like 3.5 years old…might still need some help at that age. Lots of praise and encouragement and we will get there!
Thank you! Yes, I see a lot of behavior that is not age appropriate. I was aware of his emotional regulation skills being behind but I never thought to look up the age difference in executive functioning skills. That helps a lot to understand a little better why it might be more difficult for him.
Yeah, most people say 30% rather than 40%, but everyone's mileage no doubt varies, since people do not develop at exactly the same rate. The point is that a 6 yo may well have the EF of a 4 yo.
Not a nice thing to say if you aren't a morning person, and I am not, but get up earlier. I now get up much earlier so I can be completely ready myself and have breakfast ready for the kids when they get up. They also get up earlier. My daughter is the slowest eater in the world. I count down for her. You have 15 minutes left. 10, 5, finish. She's 10 and I do less but I still do a lot. A lot of monitoring and keeping on track. I fix her hair while she brushes her teeth and put everything she needs for the day in her backpack. Like the previous person said, she sleeps in her clothes for the next day most of the time and if she doesn't she at least has them picked and laid out for the morning. It really helps.
The sleeping in the clothes is such a great idea. I feel you on getting up earlier. It's already 5:30 rise and shine for me, but I am afraid it may have to be pushed back to 5. I think that will help a lot. Thank you.
Hi, my son was on Concerta ER which took awhile to kick in. His psychiatrist prescribed a 10mg booster and I would wake him up one hour before he had to get out of bed, give it to home, and let him go back to sleep. Made mornings less of a struggle
We are excited you joined us.Many of us struggle with getting out of the house in the morning.
Could you also figure out if he is having any sleep issues or gets enough sleep?
Do you think he is just tired or doesn't know what to do?
This is important, if he normally has medication in him and he is lacking that then speak to his doctor about that there are some non-stimulants you can give at night time.
Also, this is just a stage of development. He should/will get better.
We had no expectations in the am for our son, we had to guide him through things. Now our son has a smart watch which buzzes on his wrist, which has been amazing. We don't do anything for him. But he is 17 years old.
Things will improve a lot as he gets a little older. And yes, we have so been there. Agree with everything everyone recommends. We never tried the sleeping in clothes but I sure wish we had. And if our insurance had covered Jornay PM, I would have tried it. I actually would try it now because our son has some rebound irritability when Concerta wears off in PM. Anyway, don’t compare him to any other 6 year olds!!! That will make you and him feel bad. This WILL improve eventually. Until then, do whatever you need to get him out the door. And praise ANYTHING he does, however inconsequential (I know it feels silly!). BIG HUGS!!! Been there!!! He really will get it—-it will take him longer but that’s just ADHD.
PS A visual schedule might even help, with Velcro icons of his steps of routine that he can move from “to do” to “done” columns (you can laminate these & make a chart). Sorry, I’m not explaining it well, but in my daughter’s autism program she benefits greatly from knowing the plan/schedule and her exact “jobs”. He may not need these or they may stress him out. There’s also an app called Brili for routines for kids with ADHD or autism, etc. We tried Brili for our son when he was dawdling getting ready in mornings. Unfortunately he became so excited fiddling with my phone and the app, he lost sight of his routine! Maybe less of an issue for kids with plain adhd (our son has ADHD + ASD), but technology is so stimulating I would worry 🤣
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