Adult ADHD

[PizzaLover77]

How do I find a therapist online for family therapy for my adult 27 year old daughter and me? She has ADHD and I am concerned about her. She lives in another city and really needs a therapist/life coach. Whenever I push for a therapist, she will have one for a while and do well. But then, for some reason, will drop the therapist. A third party person helps

[WYMom]

Well this probably isn't the response you want but ....she's 27. I have a different perspective as I work in criminal justice. I see a lot of hurting parents. You can't make your adult child do anything. They will only seek out and accept help when they are ready. Until then you are wasting your energy and resources. Just love her. That's it. When she asks you for help, give it. Otherwise just love.

[BLC89]

Hello PizzaLover77It makes sense that she does better with a 3rd party, that is very common with ADHDers. Accountability partners can do wonders. It's also not surprising she goes with it for a while and then stops, also common.

If she is willing the most impactful therapy for ADHD has been found to be CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it addresses the thoughts you think which is a HUGE part of what gets in the way with ADHD.

PsychologyToday.com is great for finding a therapist or BetterHelp, both you can put in ADHD and CBT as search filters.

A coach can also do wonders because the approach is often CBT like. They do less looking back to find out root causes, as in therapy, and more looking at what you have in your toolbox and how to move forward. ADDitudemag.com has a directory of coaches (of which I am one 😀)

I agree with WYmom to tell her that you love her and add the message that she deserves to feel good about herself, she deserves support.

If she has the funds having her pay for part of the support invests her and she may be more likely to continue on if she has some financial skin in the game.

If she can rewrite some of her self-talk she will most likely stick with therapy or coaching longer. The messaging women with ADHD receive can be crippling and needs to be examined, understood and subsequently rewritten from the inside out.

Good luck, keep emotionally supporting her and remind her constantly how loved she is and how deserving she is of that love.

BLC89

Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Parent Coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and raised two kids who have ADHD.

[LisethHIS]

Hi PizzaLover77,

Thanks for contacting CHADD National Resource Center on ADHD. Family therapy is a great approach. You can contact your health insurance to see what psychologist accept your insurance. At CHADD, we have a professional directory chadd.org/professional-dire... Here are two other links to medical professionals psychologytoday.com/us apa.org/

When it comes to coaching here is some information that would be helpful. chadd.org/attention-article... adhdcoaches.org/ chadd.org/about-adhd/coaching/

CHADD also offers support group if you think your daughter would be interested in joining or even yourself some offer parent support group. If there is none in your area, you are able to join another group in other state. chadd.org/affiliate-locator/

If you have further questions, please let us know. We are here to help!

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD chadd.org

[Fin12345]

I have had an exceptionally difficult finding a GOOD therapist for my 21 year old son. I have been trying to find the RIGTH therapist for him since he was diagnosed in the Summer of 2021. So far we have tried 3. The jury is out on the current one whom we have been seeing for 6 months after being on his waiting list for more than a year. Anyone who is SUPPOSEDLY good has a long waiting list. The previous two had all of the credentials, but after a lengthy period of assessment with him seeing them I did not see any improvement, so I switched when I could. Sometimes he balks and does not want to show up for his therapy(in which case I go alone), or he says he wants to cancel all sessions going forward. But after a cooling off period of a week or two (just before the next appointment), he agrees that he shoudl continue.

[Fin12345 in reply to Fin12345]

I shoudl add that my son also lives in anotehr city when attending university Sept-April each year.

[Pema20]

the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies services.abct.org/i4a/membe... will proved a list of therapists in your area trained in CBT. I think it’s commendable that you’re looking to do family therapy. The other posters are right also that you can’t force your child into therapy or to stick with it. But it is important to know that finding a therapist is like dating, it will take some misses before you get a hit. My recommendation is to make a list of the skills you’re seeking e.g. expertise in ADHD, adults, cognitive behavioral therapy, and the attributes your daughter wants: male or female, languages, etc. then find 3 with openings (easier said than done I realize, it took me hours upon hours just to find people). Then make appointments with each of them and have your child test them out, see if they feel like a fit, interview them for the job so to speak. Therapists actually recommend people do this so no one will be offended. Be transparent and tell them you’re shopping around. You will have to pay for the sessions, but it will be worth it if you find the right fit. It also puts your daughter in control of selecting someone to support her, which may be appealing. You’re insurance provider, if you are lucky enough to have one, may also be able to help CIGNA does.