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Where to begin?

wolfmom profile image
18 Replies

My husband and I have been aware that our 5 year old was different from the time he started walking or maybe even before. I won’t begin to list the reasons we’d come to the conclusion he has ADHD as I’m sure most of you have dealt with it and know the details. But the furthest we’ve gone with a diagnosis has been talking to his pediatrician, which resulted in a referral to a specialist. We were hesitant to pursue a diagnosis because we had started to feel like we were getting our lives to a somewhat normal with diet changes, vitamins and other lifestyle changes. But suddenly in the last few months it seems like things have taken a turn for the worse.

At this point we feel like we can’t go on anymore without some outside help so I’m wondering where to begin. Should we start with a child psychologist? Have any of you seen a naturopathic doctor and how did that experience go? We’re not against medicine by any means but the idea does make me anxious. Though at this point, I can’t see going on anymore without it.

Any and all advise is appreciated. Thanks.

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wolfmom profile image
wolfmom
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18 Replies
Aspen797 profile image
Aspen797

If you haven’t yet seen the specialist recommended by your pediatrician, that might be the best first step. Developmental behavioral pediatricians have specialized training and are more adept at assessing for ADHD and any other issues. They are also more likely to know who in your area has expertise in treating whatever issue that may need addressing—-from OT, SLP, psych, to functional medicine/naturopathy. DB peds are covered by most insurance. You can find a developmental pediatrician on your own here: healthychildren.org/English.... Neuropsychologist also provide comprehensive assessment but it is often out of pocket. Getting a diagnosis can seem frightening, but it unlocks doors to treatment options. Treatment can include everything from speech or OT to different types of behavioral or family therapy and special instruction and/or accommodations at school. Your child’s school district also has an obligation under Child Find to assess and order services if needed. Unfortunately, that route can be hit or miss depending on the training and skill of the school assessment team. The more info you have from outside the school system to show them, the better. It seems intimidating now, but it will all fall into place once you find out your child’s individual needs. Best of luck!

wolfmom profile image
wolfmom in reply toAspen797

Thank you so much!

ADHD_DAD profile image
ADHD_DAD in reply towolfmom

The reply from Aspen is excellent advice! What I will add (having read some replies below) is that if you steer toward medical doctors (psychiatrist vs. psychologist), a single provider can manage meds and evaluation and most insurance will cover the MD. For us, the management has been a 3 legged stool: 1. meds, 2. accommodations at school (the most challenging part in our case) and 3. lifestyle modification (check lists, routines, strict bed times, exercise routines etc.) at home. We've not needed counselling, but I know it's an important part of the management for some. The first step is the diagnosis. The school evaluation (I can provide more info on that process at your request) is easier if you already have a medical diagnosis since ADHD alone makes your child qualify for a 504 plan even if an IEP is denied or not needed. Good luck to you. If your child does have ADHD, he is in the excellent company of the Wright Brothers, Einstein, Thomas Edison , Da Vinci, and some say, Ben Franklin (plus my son). Being different is awesome!

5/6 years old is a very good age to start screening and looking into diagnosis.

What does your child’s teacher say?

You don’t have to give medication if you don’t want to but you could start from behavioural strategies- systems if immediate rewards, strategies to develop executive function…

Some medications are there purely to help children regardless of their diagnosis and when they have no diagnosis at all- for example Melatonin helps with sleep and can be even prescribed by a family doctor.

I think it's great that you're following your instincts to seek additional help for your family. Getting a good neuropsychological evaluation is a good first step. It will not only identify if your son has ADHD and what his particular "brand" of ADHD is. It will also identify any coexisting conditions or learning differences which could be affecting his behavior as well.

Hominid711 profile image
Hominid711

Look at it this way: If his brain is deficient of a particular neurotransmitter and the meds give him exactly that what's missing will you still withhold them? Wouldn't make sense, would it.

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971 in reply toHominid711

When our son was a little bit older when we started with medication, which was the right choice for us and then we added the other tools ( 504 plan, therapy and parenting modification).

Trying1978 profile image
Trying1978

I agree with everyone else. Go see the specialist. 2 of our 3 kiddos have ADHD & there have been many times where I thought everything was OK only then to be in the middle of a crisis so, even with the best behavioral treatment &/or meds, it's still a winding road. It's great you're on top of this so early. Hang in there!

NYCmom2 profile image
NYCmom2

I agree with the advice above. If you’re in the US your insurance company may cover around 50% of the cost of a neuropsychological exam. It’s the most in depth test and would be taken seriously by any doctor, specialist as well as the school support team. Some child psychiatrists will ask that you get one at some point in time while in their care. It does typically take a few months to administer to a young child.

In the short term though, make an appointment with the specialist your pediatrician recommended. You may find there’s a lengthy wait until an appointment is available.

In addition to prescribed medication and lots of outdoor time and physical exercise I give my son Omega-3 fish oils, probiotics and a multi vitamin.

It helps not to feel alone or that your child is “different”. He’s one of nearly 10% of kids in the US diagnosed w ADHD. Some resources below:

Podcast: Beautifully Complex, Navigating Neurodiverse Parenting

Documentary: The Disruptors

YouTube: ADHD Dude

Books: anything by Ned Halowell is a good place to start

Wishing you all the best on this journey!

Side note, have you alerted the school team that you’d like to request an in-school assessment at the start of next school year?

Knitting20projects profile image
Knitting20projects in reply toNYCmom2

ADHD Dude is awesome. I absolutely love his approach. Isn’t necessarily sufficient always for our ASD + ADHD son but his boy-specific recs are spot on!

Auggie123 profile image
Auggie123

Find a reputable neuropsychologist and get a complete assessment for your child.... this was a game changer for us. Absolute life changer for our son, we got the answers we needed and are now helping him in the ways he needed help for many years. He's doing so much better now. His self esteem is higher, and we feel like we know how to help him. Yes the right medications will help hugely. It's scary and daunting but can't emphasize enough how important it was to get that initial complete assessment by the neuropsychologist.

eva2022 profile image
eva2022

Hi! I was also very concerned about medicine to treat symptoms of ADHD. The book “Straight Talk About Psyciatric Medication For Kids” was incredibly helpful for me to feel very comfortable with at least trialing medicines to see if they helped my son. There is a chapter dedicated to ADHD in it. Wishing you the best!

Rhubarb58 profile image
Rhubarb58

As a former teacher turned ADHD coach, I strongly suggest that you ask the school for an evaluation now and do it in writing. If you wait until September, most likely his services will not get set up until January. In the States, legally the school must provide an evaluation within 45 days of your request. Get the evaluation now so that services will be ready to go in the Fall. This will also give the teacher more time to read and understand her/his part in the program. Keep everything in writing so that if there are any problems down the road, you have the documentation that may be needed. Keep everything in a notebook. You are your child's best advocate. Check every now and again to see that the plan (IEP) is being followed. Everyone here has given great ideas. If you are in the States and ever have a question, feel free to contact me. Good Luck!

Adhdmomof2 profile image
Adhdmomof2

In our situation, we got a school evaluation first and then a private neuropsychological evaluation second because schools cannot issue a diagnosis so their report had a lot of test results but no bottom line. To me it was important to know definitively what he had especially because we suspected he had a learning disability (and turns out he did and ADHD). The outside eval had specific diagnoses and a comprehensive list of recommendations and resource lists from therapies to school accommodations, etc. Ours was only partially covered by insurance though so that is the downside. Also, if you are even considering a neuropsych eval, I would get on a waitlist now because most places book out several months. Same with the school eval as mentioned above, if you are at all interested in pursuing that, request it now in writing to the principal bc they can also take several month. Good luck!

marinecyan profile image
marinecyan

I agree with everyone urging an assessment. I wish we’d had it much earlier for my son (9 yr old).

As for naturopathic doctors, we went to see one and it wasn’t a good fit but that was just our experience with that particular ND. I think a good ND can be very helpful.

We had more success with an integrative (functional medicine) pediatrician. (Our integrative doctor is 100% telehealth so she can treat anyone in our state, CA) She’s guided us to the tests we needed to figure out what was going on with my son nutritionally and the best supplements for him. It’s a journey but the beauty of supplements is there are no (or should be no) negative side-effects.

kdali profile image
kdali

Your story sounds very familiar. Things were improving for us so we waited, then bam, a big change and everyone was going insane.

For us, neuropsych testing has been key to understanding where the lagging skills are. I have found that there are many options for therapy, and currently we like play therapy because of age. We went to one family therapy visit, took some notes of the benefits of hippo therapy and equine therapy, and could return later for cognitive behavioral therapy when she's older. We just jumped in, got all the referrals and visits, and are still trying to knock down a few walls, but are in a much better place than we were a few months ago.

The wait to see a developmental behavioral pediatrician can be very long depending on where you live. It’s a great recommendation if it’s a feasible option in your area. How has he seemed different from other kids since very young? Just hyperactive?

Most kids can start with their pediatrician. However, I completely agree that a full neuropsychological or IQ/LD evaluation with a skilled child psychologist can be incredibly helpful in understanding your child. It is rarely covered by insurance and usually expensive ($2000-3000). That’s why I’m recommending at least starting with your pediatrician. Not everyone is in a position to pay that, and you might not need to, either now or ever.

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