Therapist in Toronto? for our 20 years old son

[Ziska]

Can anyone recommend a therapist in Toronto? I have been looking for a wile now.... this is for our 20 years old son. He was recently diagnosed with adhd, has a hard time focusing and unfortunately my husband doesn't seem to understand him, he calls him lazy and tells him he doesn't try hard enough.

Thanks!

[Peerandparent]

Currently we've got quite a psychiatrist shortage in Ontario, but getting a referral from the family doc will get him on a waitlist at least.

From the sounds of it your husband might benefit from some education... Look up the video from Barkley for parents of ADHD children I found to be extremely helpful. Maybe also suggest he watch some videos and/or read some experiences of people who live with the disorder (is he a fan of Rick Green?)

For your son, there are options aside from therapy. Encourage him to learn what he can about ADHD, and to at least trial medication. At worst it will be ineffective, and at best it could be life changing. There is also benefit to him seeking out other people who live with the disorder for peer support and problem solving. If he is in post secondary school of some sort, there is likely a student counselling service he can connect to, as well as getting accomodations that can help him succeed.

ADHD is one of the most poorly named disorders out there. It's not a deficit, it's a lack of attention control. And that's just a symptom of the underlying issue; impaired executive function. Show your son and your husband a list of the things executive function is responsible for, and point out that this part of the brain is... I guess quieter than neurotypical is one way to put it.

ADHD is a disorder of doing, not of knowing. This is the root of a lot of the judgment heaped on people with it. If it was a disorder that affected our ability to learn, it would be easier for people to understand and accept. Instead, we end up in the position where we know exactly how to do something, but lack the ability to follow through. I know how to maintain organized files, but I still end up with piles of paper. I know how to budget, but struggle to track my spending.

We know far more than we're able to do, and it's an endless source of frustration. Compassion and empathy are the most important tools in your arsenal right now.