strategies for getting ready for the day and bed easier

[managingme]

Hi, we have a son 9, with inattentive ADHD and my husband and I both also have it and were not diagnosed until later in life ( late 30s/40s)

getting out of the house is a massive struggle. Time does not exist for our son. We have timers everywhere ( but we can forget to use them!) but just getting ready can take 30 min maybe, he only wears comfy clothes so it's not like he's putting outfits together or can't decide what to wear. I have socks downstairs with shoes, toothbrushes in every bathroom, but it still just takes forever. And we are constantly nagging/reminding him what to do when and I hate it. For him and us. I was thinking of getting some white boards so we can write out steps so he can have some visual reminders, but I worry they will just kind of get lost in the background and he will kind of stop seeing them as time goes on. I would just love some tips on having our mornings and evenings go smoother. We need some really good systems.

he has no other personal responsibility at the moment and I would love for him to start doing some chores ( basic stuff) to help around the house and to learn some things for his own independence at some point, but just getting ready, and homework takes up so much of our time.

Thanks!

[BVBV]

Does your son get up on his own in the morning? My son started getting dressed as soon as he wakes up and it makes a world of difference. He learned to brush his teeth right after he goes to the bathroom and then he’s done getting ready and gets iPad time or watch TV while he eats breakfast as an incentive. I always praise him and that’s always helped. I also made a short list (seriously 1- get dressed 2-go to the bathroom/brush teeth) and put it in his dresser when this used to be an issue as a reminder. Also, I do notice that when he does a chore he also feels better about himself and more capable and that helped with overall responsibility.

[managingme in reply to BVBV]

yes we were doing that for awhile but then all these other excuses popped up about not getting ready right away etc. we don’t usually do tv/switch on school mornings, but that actually might be a good incentive to get ready. I just want it to be like second nature for him so he doesn’t even have to think about it

[NYCmom2]

My son is the same age. I find I still need to direct a lot of his getting ready for the day or ready for bed. Literally standing next to him most of the time just to get out the door on time.

It got slightly better as we built up simple habits using a reward chart or habit building app for kids with ADHD.

[managingme in reply to NYCmom2]

so, I bought a bunch of mini dry erase boards and have one in his room, the kitchen and mud room. We have been listing what he has to do after waking up, before soccer, and to get out the door. It has been a game changer. We haven't had to tell him one thing. I am honestly blown away

[NYCmom2 in reply to managingme]

That’s great news!!

[Imakecutebabies]

My son has started sleeping in his day clothes for the next day. It's a game changer. He showers at night and dresses in clean clothes. Then the next morning, when he naturally has to go use the toilet, he can brush his teeth/hair while he's in there and bam he's already almost ready for breakfast. I just have to frequently remind him (a) to brush before coming out and (b) to go grab some socks.

Nighttime is trickier; we get through teeth and shower mostly with either setting a time limit or contriving a race. (Tonight I literally raced him to see if he could get dressed and get in bed to read a book before I finished taking a shower. Naturally he won; I was barely wet, but it have him incentive to actually put the clothes on without me nagging.