2nd opinion

[dadwithquestions456]

I'm not sure my daughter has the best treatment just now. I've talked to her doctor and she added another medication, but it leaves me wondering what another doctor would say. I really want to provide another doctor with her full background and behavior history and see if they arrive at a different treatment or agree the current one is good. Is trying to get a second opinion like this really a thing? Too often doctors seem like they don't listen all that much.... So curious if any others have gotten a second opinion and if it worked out better.

[ELucas13]

If you doubt your doctor, get a second opinion! And I'm assuming your daughter has ADHD, so go see a doctor/psychiatrist/therapist/nurse who specializes in this and preferably with children. If you feel like you are not being listened to, then you should totally question the relationship you have with the doctor you are seeing.

It's some work, maybe extra money depending on your insurance, possibly a waitlist, but even for peace of mind, go forth and get more opinions! If nothing else, it will ease your mind even if they reach the same conclusion as your current doctor.

Finding a good fit with a doctor isn't unlike dating. Sometimes it takes meeting a few to find your fit. And sometimes you break up with your doctor! Doctors are people too, so it's important that you realize if they aren't taking the time with you it could be because of their work load, personal issues, or any number of things.

Go with your parenting gut!

[dadwithquestions456 in reply to ELucas13]

Thank you for the response. It's all so difficult for me. On one hand I don't want to push too hard because I assume the doctor should know treatment better than me. On the other hand I see a lot more of her and just think it could be better. I posted about it before, but the last week of school last year she was like a different person for a whole week. If she can be that way for a week I think there is something out there that will help. I wasn't able to find anyone else who has experienced anything similar. She was diagnosed with ADHD, but sometimes I think her symptoms are brought on by anxiety.

[ELucas13 in reply to dadwithquestions456]

Doctors are experts in their field and you are an expert in your field--which is your daughter. They aren't around her as much as you and are making assessments on what you say and how your child is during the session.

However, girls can be complicated without layering on anxiety or ADHD, so she may need more frequent intervention as well.

Also, when looking at your child, accept them for who they are and do your best to tell the difference between a serious issue and her personality just evolving as she gets older. She may not be who you want her to be or think she should be, but she is who she is, so make sure you aren't wishing her to be a certain way. I had trouble with that when my so was diagnosed with ADHD. I learned to work with what I had and understood he may not be able to fulfill an idealized version of the child we envisioned but I learn to love him even more for being this weird, neurodivergent child. I'm not saying you are doing this, but it's important to note who she is and not what you think she should be at her core. Then you will be truly able to tackle her issues.

[dadwithquestions456 in reply to ELucas13]

It's hard to not think that the girl that is funny and witty isn't her. I can sort of see it in her face whether she is comfortable or not. But I just want to make sure she is getting the right treatment.

[MomOfSuperheroes]

Getting a second opinion is a great idea. Go for it, and I applaud you for standing up for your child. It's so tough, sometimes, advocating for our kids. I really hope you find someone who you and your family trust.

[dadwithquestions456]

I think I have found the doctor I'm going to try to get an appointment with. Hopefully she isn't too booked. And hopefully she is good and will listen. I want to send an email with a full background of her behavior, does that seem like a thing to do? Like I think it's important for a proper diagnosis. I really want to figure out what is up with the anxiety and adhd.