Advice? What questions to ask a new therapist?

[run_]

Hi all,

I'm about to take my daughter to a new therapist (who seems VERY young) for depression/ ADHD. I googled this therapist and it looks like she hasn't been doing this long. It's so hard to find a therapist these days, but I'm trying to get the best care possible at this point. We've already gone through two therapists who ultimately didn't provide enough support. (I'm starting to feel like therapists who are immediately available are so for a reason )

My questions are for parents who have been through this:

What kinds of questions should I ask this new therapist, and what questions do you wish you had asked? In hindsight, what kinds of red flags did you see that could mean a therapist isn't a good fit.

[Suzi_q]

I'm sad there have been no comments here. I sort of have the same question but at the same time in my community you get what you get. At our initial consult the therapist we were assigned says your son has ADHD and he needs meds. You need to make an appt with the medical provider to get meds. She just kept saying that over and over, offered me no other advice or help even though this was the first time of me hearing this diagnosis. My son is only five and she seemed disinterested in what my concerns might be our that I'd really prefer to try non medication approach first. Needless to say I felt unheard and was unimpressed. But in our community, I stay with her or I get nothing.

I think a couple of good questions could include, how does "whatever you do" help me child? What is the parent/family role? How long before I should experience/notice improvements? How do you coordinate with my child's school?

Good luck!

[Crunchby]

It's so hard finding a helpful therapist. You are smart to do some screening up front. I asked this question a while back, and got some good replies/maybe search here?. For me, the number one, non negotiable, is that they need to be a parent themselves. They just don't begin to 'get it', unless they've been there. Ideally a parent of a difficult child, but not required...as parenting is hard regardless of the childs disposition. I had one that worked with troubled teens, she was great. Best of luck!

[MomO_Sea]

We started therapy when our son was 15 YO so our questions were different than those for a younger child. Our son has depression. OCD, and ADHD inattentive type. Now that he’s 18 I think my approach would have been different. I would have seen a psychiatrist first to get a diagnosis, gotten him on meds for his depression and would have reached out to an ADHD coach that would help us as parents in helping our son.

We had one therapist that was divisive of our family and actually caused some damage I feel. While I was happy that my son was engaged w a therapist and thought I was giving him a lifetime gift to feel comfortable seeking out therapy, he said he got depressed focusing on his issues all the time.

He also doesn’t like taking stimulants or antidepressants for various reasons.

It’s been a roller coaster of trial and error that probably would have been smoother if costs were no issue. Every step seems to have taken a lot of time since we were in a 6 month waiting period for a full diagnosis thru ucla which turned out to be wasted time since we really only needed a basic diagnosis from a ucla referral in order to get us started on meds w a psych. This has been complicated due to our sons use of recreational marijuana and some psychs won’t prescribe w/o a clean drug test! (It takes 30 days to get a clean test).

I hope your experiences are smoother and that some of our foibles help you avoid them!

[ADHDgifts]

Look into occupational therapy (if a neuropsychology evaluationn has not been done go that route first). Therapy is very helpful in countless ways, but I've personally found OT to be the way to go with ADHD (keep therapy for depression).