School rejection after being accepted

[Baseball4]

My son past all tests and got accepted at new private school. He is entering 3rd grade. During enrollment, I disclaimed that he takes Adderall for ADHD. I immediately received a call from the school asking about it. Now, they are scheduling a call with 4 other leaders at the school to tell us they wont accept my son due to "his special conditions". I didn't think this was even legal to do? Isn't this discrimination? Since my son past all the required tests?

[Onthemove1971]

Of course if feels horriable and wrong. Could you look at their website and see if they say anything. You could look at it a few ways..

Consult an educational lawyer, pay a fee to consult them.tyo see if you have a case. But even if you sue and win, I would be concerned he wouldn't be accepted and they may find other ways to make it hardc for him.

I have always heard "private schools Hve the right to not allow anyone they do not want in their schools".

Take it as a "sign" and find some where he is accepted and enroll there.

I hope parents who have kids in private school can comment on how they got in and where they honest about medication, if their child takes it.

Either way, I am sorry anyone would have to go through this.

Let us know what you decide to do.

[Auggie123]

That is terrible. I'm so sorry that happened! But what it does show is that is not the right school for your child. If it were me, I would walk the other direction and find a better more accommodating school.... in some ways it's good you know this now rather then after school year starts. Good luck!

[MomO_Sea]

I see some good feedback here. Our son (now 17) went through private school from pre-K - 8th and is now at a large public highschool. Hindsight is 20/20. I see all of the help we are getting for him currently and at the private school I see that he received no help at all. The private school he was at was not set up to help children with non average needs, and was also reputed as discriminating against boys in particular (holding same learning expectations as girls). I try to live without regrets, but who knows what child you’re going to get and what is best for them always?! I also feel that with a public school he would have had a variety of learning level peers to socialize with vs. the Alpha male set that was generally at his private school.

[Peerandparent]

Yes, it's discrimination based on medical, which is illegal in most places. As others have said, if you force the matter and he gets in, he may end up facing prejudice and discrimination once he's in school. If anything, perhaps there is a regulatory body they could get reported to,and they might be able to affect some meaningful change.

I had a job offer disappear before... I was interviewed by a major bank as a software developer, offered a job, and received an "anonymous" form that stated they were tracking disabilities for statistical purposes. Foolishly I disclosed ADHD on the form. Then I got a call from my future boss asking about my ADHD and if I would need accommodation,then a week later the job offer evaporated, my future boss wouldn't return my calls, and they said they had eliminated the position. Clear discrimination, and at the same time I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Disclosure is always a double edged sword, especially when it comes to conditions like ADHD that have a lot of stigma and misinformation around it. Disclosure carries risk, while secrecy carries its own, as well. The big one is that people end up treating traits as a personality flaw rather than a developmental issue, and this can seriously erode a person's sense of self-worth.

At the end of the day we need to be prepared for the risks and benefits of disclosure and decide on a case by case basis.

There's a program called "Open, honest and proud" which was created to prepare people for public speaking about mental health issues, but there's a lot in the package that applies to a lot of different situations.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Peerandparent]

Well said.. thanks for your insight. How good would it feel if a regulatory board punished them for their behavior.

[AberdeenArms]

Step 1: File lawsuit

Step 2: Win lawsuit

Step 3: Use money from lawsuit to pay for a different and better school.

Delicious karma.

[ADHD_DAD]

Please provide more information and I will try to help. You said you "disclaimed" that he is on Adderall. Is he actually on Adderall and your disclaimer was considered a breach of their social compact for honesty? Certainly using Adderall would not be a hindrance to attending most (non religion based) private schools. Please provide more detail and I will try to offer helpful advice or help lead you in the right direction. As my past replies will attest to, I have much experience doing battle with the public schools and ultimately switched my son to a private school which, to this day, still seems to good to be true. It has been wonderful in every way. I look forward to receiving more info and trying to help. Be well.

[ADHD_DAD in reply to ADHD_DAD]

too good to be true. I should have had my son check my spelling!

[Trex001]

our son who is too young for an adhd diagnosis- he keeps getting accepted to preschools and gets “discharged” same day… or they conveniently do not have any more“space” after spending time with him.

We have offered to pay extra- pay out of pocket ourselves for a shadow and for a therepist to come work with him, as we think getting into school and getting socialized is crucial to his development right now…private pre-schools simply do not want to be bothered with us as we work thru this issue with our child. It should be illegal but they have a way of saying that we are not accepted - *legally *- but we know whats going on.

Im so dissatisfied and disappointed with the whole system. And its not the money- its the teachers and the staff.