My 8 yo son has ADHD, emphasis on impulsiveness and hyperactivity. For roughly the last 6 months, he has been awaking in the middle of the night and remaining awake for hours. Here's his background:
At least 1-2 times per week, he will wake up and remain awake for several hours. Often it's because he needs to use the bathroom, but not always. He claims he cannot fall back asleep, so he'll find things to do...watch TV, work on a puzzle, read books, play with toys, even go wake up his younger brother. While he seems unbothered by this behavior, it is really taking it's toll on the whole family.
At night, we have eliminated access to some activities...TV, gaming devices, etc. We emphasize constantly that the only way to fall back to asleep is to remain in bed with the lights off. He gets bored. We ensure he isn't hungry at bedtime and that the last thing before lights out is a trip to the bathroom. He has a fan, sound machine, sleep mask. He's an active kid...involved in sports and gets plenty of physical activity.
Current medications include Focalin XR in the AM and Prozac. At bedtime, we give Melatonin and he began taking Clonidine XR about a month ago. This addition has really helped him to sleep soundly most nights and now he "sleeps in" on the weekends, rather than being up by 5-6am. He's easy to wake up on school days. His psychiatrist and I really thought the Clonidine would eliminate the sleepless events, but these breakthrough nights are becoming more frequent. We have a follow up in a few weeks with his doc.
Here's what I'm seeking...I need a plan of how to manage the behavior of getting out of bed and engaging in activities that he shouldn't. He knows and understands the expectations....stay in bed with lights off. However, he's defying us by sneaking out of his room and doing the things he shouldn't. I'm struggling with how to reward the correct behavior, and if/how to punish the wrong behavior. Besides sleep aids and medications, have any tactics worked to manage the behavior? Thanks for any suggestions!
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boy_mama_lu
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It sounds like you are doing an amazing job to support him. Has he had a sleep study? To find out why he is waking up? A good sleep doctor could give you some good advice.
I would really encourage you to get a sleep study. My daughter had the same issues. We got a sleep study and realized she has obstructive sleep apnea. Removing the tonsils and adenoids has made a huge difference in her sleep. I wold have never known f t wasnt for the sleep stdy.
Hang in there! We’ve had a similar problems of our 8 yo waking up in middle of night for hours, and these occurrences go in bursts. I haven’t found anything that really gets him to sleep when they occur. We’ll take away all devices but then he’ll grab a book and start reading and stay up for hours. But he goes in and out of these cycles. Rewards sometimes keep him in bed. Not sure if this helps him go back to sleep but at least he’s in bed. You may have tried this, but you could give him a reward? Something small that he enjoys, like his favorite cookie for dessert next day, or he gets to pick a baseball/football card, if he sleeps through night or at least stays in bed.
Rewards are something we are definitely exploring. We all wake up and have trouble getting back to sleep. So I want to reward him when he does this successfully. I'm just struggling with whether or not to permit him to be up with lights on (reading, etc). I know it can help relax a brain like his, but it also seems counter productive. Thanks for the advice!
That's a tough one. My son used to stay up too late. So then I'd make sure he went to bed, he'd wait until I was in bed, then sneak downstairs to watch TV. I'd find him staying up all night and catch him at 6am when I got up. It was difficult. I don't feel we ever really resolved it completely.
The only thing I can think of is making sure there are clear repercussions for defying you. Make sure there are no "distractions" in the room he sleeps in. Maybe some sort of timer for his light so he can't turn it on in the middle of the night?
I do sympathize with him. I've woken up in the middle of the night, tossed and turned for hours and not gotten back to sleep. It happens. Work on the underlying issues, as you are doing, but also draw clear lines about not defying you. In my mind they are different issues.
Thanks for this support. I feel like I can get the defying behavior under control with sticking to the consequences. For example, two nights ago he snuck into my room while we were asleep to retrieve the remote control for our playroom TV. He lost his gaming system for the next two days. I just can't tolerate that type of behavior. I totally agree that there are two issues...defying the rules and having good sleep or return to sleep habits.
It’s so hard for these kids to shut their brains off. Nighttime seems to when they come alive. My teen daughter has had this her entire childhood and still now as a teen. Her psychiatrist has her on Trazodone which works but now as a teenager, with her own ideas, it’s a struggle to get her to take it before 2-3am because she likes to stay up! Ugh.
I read once about a doctor whose own son has adhd and they found that listening to soft music at night helped his brain grab onto something in bed without him getting up and getting more awake by turning on lights and doing activities. My daughter does this and it does seem to help. She had sleep studies done but it all just pointed back to her active adhd and anxiety. Best of luck. It’s hard!
I like the music idea; just need a way to give him access to it without any accompanying distractions. The worry I feel for him is becoming overwhelming. I know how I feel and perform after a poor night's sleep. How is he to be successful in school with only a couple hours of sleep every night?!
Right! You don’t want to give them their phone at night! My daughter sets up her nighttime playlist in Spotify, connects it to the Bluetooth speaker by her bed and then turns her phone in to me.
We also tried the device called The Mighty which is a little Spotify device that can operate without having your phone by you but it ran out of battery often and had trouble connecting to Bluetooth consistently so just using the phone with Bluetooth speaker has worked better for us.
Love these suggestions! He really enjoys music, and we've even listened to guided meditation together in his bed with music. Unfortunately they put me right to sleep too!
Maybe set up a guided meditation on his phone for his Bluetooth speaker prior to taking his phone! You’ll have to leave before it starts playing or it sounds like it will lull you to sleep too! Haha.
Melatonin helped my son to sleep faster , but every night he will be awake at 2 or 3am and would not go to sleep. How much dosage of melatonin do you give your son? They say low dosage like 0.3mg of melatonin won't cause this issue. Still 0.3mg did not work for my son.
He has taken 2 mg of melatonin for a few years now. Our psychiatrist said we could take it up to 3-4, but I haven't. It definitely is needed for him to relax before bed, but I don't think it's causing him to awaken at night.
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